


Different Eyes

by Quoth_the_Raven_Nevermore_Nevermore



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur reacts to the show, BAMF Merlin, F/M, Gen, Magic Reveal, Original Character(s), Post Magic Reveal, Quests, Started fall 2012, arthur reacts badly, this is gonna be a long one, very much a WIP because of school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 18:31:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 55,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3947236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quoth_the_Raven_Nevermore_Nevermore/pseuds/Quoth_the_Raven_Nevermore_Nevermore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because perhaps if Arthur could see it from a different perspective then he would understand why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on FF.net my sophomore year of high school and I've been trudging away at it ever since. It's very much been a labor of love. I'm cross posting because i find AO3's format to be much more enjoyable, as i plan to do with every work on my FF.net profile.

"Go!" "What? Arthur I'm sorry—"

"You've lied to me! I should have you —"

"I couldn't tell you Arthur it—"

"It what? You have no excuse Merlin, no—"

"I wanted to Arthur! It hurt to keep a secret like this from a frien—"

"Friend? Ha, I don't think we ever were friends if this incident is anything to go from. You're a monster, Merlin!"

Merlin slumped his chin hitting his chest, the perfect submissive servant and Arthur almost laughs, who knew little farm boy Merlin who couldn't lie to save his life could hide something like this? Hide something so big.  Arthur had been betrayed by magic before, had been manhandled and threatened and he couldn't let this stand.

"What will you do with me now, Sire?" Arthur swallows thickly, the only thing he can do at this point, magic was evil and it had been sitting right under his nose all this time, a viper waiting to strike, vipers were poisonous and dangerous and had to be eliminated at all costs.

"You'll be executed at sunset within a week's time."

Merlin merely nodded his eyes never leaving the floor.

 

* * *

Abiageal was thirty and the mother of twins.

A little girl with unruly red hair and crystal like green eyes and a little boy with his father's brown hair and brown eyes, they were nine and beautiful, their mothers pride and joy.

"Aetnat! Zeal! Dinner!"

From the north side of the camp she could hear her children arguing as they approached her.

"What makes you think that they'd win Zeal? I'm just as good as fighter if not better, they're bullies, and it's not fair!" They had this argument often and Abiageal knew it by heart, her daughter hated the way the other children acted around her since the accident that had blinded her four years ago. Aetnat was brave about it and didn't let it get to her, but there were people who thought less of her and her future now, and Aetnat, who was every bit as stubborn as her father and as hotheaded as her mother, couldn't stand it. She was frequently coming home with scraped knuckles, a big grin, and her little stick tip tapping in front of her, her brother dragging his feet behind her. That was when Zeal — her wonderful, levelheaded, kind, boy — couldn't stop her, but today hadn't been one of those days and she smiled, a sigh of relief emptying her of the air she had been holding.

"Zeal, Aetnat, hurry now!"

"It's not fair your right but you can't go starting fights whenever you feel like it, no wonder they call you 'sí a dhéanann dtrioblóid' sister you're trouble!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too! "Am no—"

"That's enough now come eat; god knows you two must be hungry, why didn't you come home for lunch?"

"Gina had us over to her house Mum."

Her sons ears were burning red, Abiageal raised an eyebrow interesting; it would appear her son had a crush on Gweth's daughter.

"It was horrible Mum, why do people have to be so—so pigheaded, I'm not an invalid and Ze' only made it worse making googley eyes at Gina the whole time, I don't even think he looked away from her long enough to eat, it was nauseatin—"

"You can't even see!"

Aetnat set her spoon back in her bowel of stew; she turned her head up in the air, red curls bouncing.

"Oh Gina you're so pretty, Gina I love you, Gina you smell so nice, Gina, Gina, Gina—it was disgusting Ze', you need to work on not projecting your thoughts because if I have to put up with this much longer I'm going to kill you!"

"Aetnat! That was uncalled for, you don't say such things, apologize!"

"Mum—"

"Now!"

"Sorry Zeal."

"Thank you, now Zeal is what your sister says true?"

"I might have been — that is it's a possibility that I was — but not as much as Aetnat says I was."

Abiageal nodded before speaking gently.

"You need to work on that my love." Zeal nodded. "Now finish eating, it's getting dark and it's time for bed."

The two children nod digging back into their stew.

* * *

 

_Aetnat looked around._

_She was in a castle in what appeared to be the empty dungeons._

_It was quiet except for the dripping of water and the sound of falling rock. She frowned. She was used to the visions. Even welcomed them, because in them she could actually see, but usually they were about something important – something she needed to know – but for the life of her she couldn't understand why these empty dungeons were important._

_She moved out of the way as a woman rushed down the stairs her yellow dress fluttering up around her heels. The woman was sobbing and Aetnat frowned. Perhaps the dungeons weren't empty after all. Following the woman she found herself slipping threw an iron door and then she was in a different part of the dungeons. Aetnat's heart sunk, she could feel — even in this state — the way the stone seemed to block her magic. This part of the dungeons was meant to contain a sorcerer or sorceress._

_She prayed she was not going to have to watch an execution._

_The woman in yellow was kneeling by the final cell on the right, and Aetnat jogged up behind her kneeling down she frowned. There was someone in there, but she couldn't see a face with the way that the cell cast shadows. All she could see were booted feet. Why did she need to see this?_

_"Merlin is it true?"_

_"Depends on what you're asking?"_

_"Is it true that you're a sorcerer?"_

_"Warlock actually, but yeah." The woman sobbed._

_"Why Merlin? Especially after Morgana, how could you?_ "

_"I was born with it Gwen, I've never had a choice."_

_She — Gwen apparently — sobbed._

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"I couldn't Gwen its dangerous enough for me to even be here, I couldn't involve any more people, Gaius is bad enough, besides you have a great destiny ahead of you Gwen you shouldn't be dragged down with me, you're a queen now."_

_"Merlin, I'll talk to Arthur, you'll be fine we'll get you out of here, okay?"_

_"No don't Gwen, its okay."_

_"He's going to kill you!"_

_"I know, and its okay,the laws the law."_

_"The laws wrong!"_

_"You can't say that Gwen – " There was the sound of shuffling and then the man shuffled into the light, his face was haggard and smudged with dirt but Aetnat recognized the face, her stomach dropped and she shook her head in denial." – you can't say that where people can hear you. Besides, you know that he has a right to be angry. You've both been hurt by it."_

_Emrys smiled sadly, "you should go, it's not time for goodbyes and Arthur needs you, too."_

_She nodded wiping the corners of her eyes with the cloth of her dress._

_Then she was gone and Aetnat watched as Emrys sunk back against the wall._

* * *

 

_Zeal sighed._

_Tonight wouldn't be a normal dream then. He was in what appeared to be a bedroom, adorned in gold and red, Pendragon colors, he frowned. Why was he in Camelot, scratch that why was he in what appeared to be royal chambers?_

_The door was thrown open with a bang. A blonde man that Zeal recognized as the King and a dark haired, dark skinned woman that he recognized as his queen stormed into the room their feet echoing off the stone of the floor._

_"Arthur, it's not too late, you can stop this!"_

_"Merlin is not above the law, and the law clearly states that the punishment for sorcery is death. Death Guinevere, he has to die and the sooner you accept that the better!"_

_"Arthur! He's your friend, how can you send him to his death, how can you watch that?"_

_"He's not my friend, he lied to me!"_

_"Because you'd react like this!"_

_"He's probably tired to kill me more times than I can count!"_

_"Do you really believe that?  Merlin who jumped in front of a Dorocha for you, that would die for you given the chance?"_

_"He's not the same!"_

_"He is Arthur, he is, he's still our Merlin, our Merlin that you've sentenced to death."_

_The king looked down blonde hair falling down to shield his eyes for a moment before he looked up steel in his eyes._

_"I can't, Guinevere, I'm sorry that this will hurt you."_

_The queen trembled but she swept out of the chambers after her husband._

_Zeal hurried after him trying to keep sight of the red of the King's cloak and the blue of the Queen's dress._

_They turned into a corridor that ended in a balcony and Zeal swallowed hard, he could see the raised platform. He was going to have to watch an execution. He watched from the queen's side as a man was led out from the castle in chains. The executioner forced the man down onto his knees as he pushed his head down onto the block._

_The queen sobbed quietly, next to him._

_"Merlin is found guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. I, Arthur Pendragon just like my father before me believes such practices to be dangerous and illegal. I try to be a fair king but as it is the laws of Camelot see only one punishment for sorcery, death."_

_Zeal's heart pounded._

_The executioner raised his blade –_

_Thu-thump, Thu-thump–_

_He brought it down with a solid swing, dislodging the head from the body –_

_Thu-thump –_

_The head rolled until it landed at the foot of the steps, blue eyes staring up into nothing, black hair askew –_

_Thu-thump, thu-thump thu-thump –_

_Zeal knew that face-_

_Thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump -_

* * *

 

"Emrys!"

Zeal sat up in a flash and was on his feet in seconds. Only to nearly knock over a severely shaken up Aetnat. He reached out his arms out steadying the shivering and whimpering girl.

"Zeal did you –"

"See Emrys? Yeah."

His sister whimpered again and Zeal wrapped his arms tightly around his sister, before bringing them down to sit on the floor.

"He can't die though? Can he? The prophecies said! They said Emrys would save us, said he would always be here to save us!"

"The prophecies have been wrong before, or they've changed. Maybe - maybe, he can."

It was silent for a moment and then; "What are we gonna' do?" "What can we do?"

It was quiet for a moment.

"If we could only show the King all that Emrys's has done for him, all they're meant to do, then maybe he would see that Emrys isn't evil…"

"Aetnat you're a genius!"

"What?"

"I know what we're going to do!"

"What?"

"Never mind just put your hand on mine; I'll need your magic to help me cast the spell!"

Aetnat's brow furrowed but she lay her hand down on the ground palm up as Zeal covered it with his own. Zeal concentrated on the blonde man – King Arthur – and then he focused on the dark haired man that he knew as Emrys and then with a curl of his lips he spoke.

"Athrú an dearcadh, a athrú de, féach cad tá tú caillte roimh!"


	2. II

Arthur opened his eyes to a dark night.

Looking around he frowned, this wasn't his bedroom, and this wasn't where he fell asleep. He was in what appeared to be the town square of Ealdor that was alight with fires and the sound of galloping hooves. Except he hadn't been in Ealdor when he fell asleep. He hadn't been in what appeared for all purposes to be a witch hunt either.

"Balinor you do not have to go!"

"Hunith it's not safe!"

"But it's safe to leave? I do not believe that Balinor, you can not fool me, you're as safe with me as you would be out there!"

Arthur quickened his steps, he knew that voice, Hunith perhaps she could explain this – anomaly, as to why he was here in Ealdor instead of back at home in his bed with Gwen sleeping beside him. He wouldn't realize the irony of asking for her advice until much later. 

Turning around the corner he blinked. Well this was awkward. Hunith pulled away, her mouth only inches from the man's, their breathes intermingling in a cloud of white. She raised a hand and brushed a lock of dark hair away from the man's face, Arthur could see the tears glistening in her eyes.

"Balinor, please I don't want you to go, I need you! We have a life, we can have a family – please do not go!"

The man's wild features softened an almost tender look flashing across his face as his hands stroked a piece of hair away from her forehead, fingers playing with the dark brown strand. He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I have to go it's not safe for you. I love you Hunith but it's not safe for us to be together now – all those knights that set those fires? They were looking for me and I can't endanger you anymore, I'm sorry I have to go."

The man bent down his forehead gently bumping Hunith's, he smiled and placed a final kiss on her forehead before turning and disappeared, the black of the mare he was riding blending in with the dark of the night. Hunith fell to her knees clutching at a small pendant around her neck, sobbing. Arthur frowned and knelt down next to the women.

"Hunith?"

No response. He tried again.

"Hunith?"

She was crying, perhaps she was too distraught to hear him; he tried again this time laying a hand on her shoulder only for it to just slip through.

He sat back reeling, what in the god's was going on? 

Hunith sobbed.

"Balinor..." 

She sobbed again and then the scene dissolved – it's the only thing Arthur can find to describe it as the area lost color and rapidly shifted – and came back, shifting again rapidly. Around the third scene he realized that what he was seeing was either a) a fever induced nightmare, or b) were memories, and that he had been put under a spell. Probably by Merlin, Arthur felt his temper rise at that, didn't the idiot know better, he would only make it worse for himself, right now he was only facing execution but for placing a spell on the king? He would face torture as well.

Merlin, Arthur decides is an idiot, a lying, backstabbing, spell casting idiot. How was he even doing magic from inside those dungeons? They're supposed to block the magic from the sorcerer so that they can't cast anything. Arthur pondered this as the scene shifted again and Arthur found himself standing in Hunith's home as the woman sat up in bed, a small bundle of blankets in her arms.

"Hunith." The woman looked up, face sweaty, with hair plastered to her forehead but she was grinning only for the grin to fall when she saw the look on the midwife's face.

"Hunith the child – he's not crying, he does not make a sound, he does not move."

"But he breathes."

"Yes, but for how long? I would suggest – do not name him, it will only make it harder."

Hunith's face crumples and she pulls her knees closer to her chest until the small bundle of blankets was barely visible, Arthur creeps foreword unsure of what he was seeing, was this Merlin's birth? Or did Merlin have a sibling that did not survive infanthood? If so why was it so important that he see it?

"You want me to give up on him?"

"Not necessarily but the child – Hunith some babes simply do not make it, it's not your fault."

Hunith looked up then. "Thank you Liza' but please – go."

The woman nodded she grabbed an extra blanket from the back of a chair and wrapped it around Hunith's shoulders before leaving. Hunith shifted her hair out of her face and gently pulled back the blankets so the child's face was in clear few. She swiped a hand over his head and Arthur watched as little downy black curls shifted through her fingers. She kissed his nose and his forehead then his ten fingers and ten toes; all the while the child did not move, nor cry.

Hunith took to rocking him. Her voice shook as she sung an old lullaby that Arthur remembered nursemaids singing to him when he woke from a nightmare as a child – except they hadn't been able to sing it this way, the way that Hunith was singing to the little child. Love, he thinks is what was missing from their song. Hunith keeps singing until her voice goes and then she simply sits rocking the child back and forth well into the morning hours until finally at first light she sobbed and Arthur tensed, had the child passed? But no, the child's chest still rose and fell. She prodded at his lips with her fingers and the child sucked at the digit, Hunith waited a moment and then sobbed again, but this time Arthur could hear the laughter.

Stepping forward he lent his head over the young mothers shoulder to stare into small golden eyes as small hands raised up in the air, golden sparks flying from tiny fingertips.

Arthur stilled, Gwen had mentioned that Merlin – because it was indeed Merlin, with the babe's black hair and molten gold eyes – had said he was born with magic, that he had never made the decision to learn, but this? Merlin had been doing magic before he was two days old.

"You have eyes like a falcon when you're doing your magic, huh? Just like your daddy. Well then how about we name you Gawain?"

The baby blinked, eyes now an electric blue that was startling on an infant. The Merlin's face scrunched up, tiny nose wrinkling and let out a wail. Hunith for her part took it in stride, merely shifting the child and gently rocking him back and forth.

"Horus?" The child still wailed.

"Seaghdha?" No change.

"Merlin?" The baby stilled and gurgled against her breast and Hunith laughed.

"Well then Merlin, I do believe you will be the only babe that has ever picked his own name, aren't you special?" She sighed. "We'll figure it out, I'll teach you how to hide it, now, you must be hungry." Arthur turned away cheeks blaring as he heard the child begin to suckle.

He was relieved when he felt the scene change and he turned around again.

Hunith was a few years older now, and a small Merlin sat in her lap as she ran her hands through his raven curls

"But Mother, it's not fair why can't I?"

Hunith sighed.

"What happened today can't happen again you can't show anybody Merlin!"

 "I didn't do anything wrong!"

Hunith sighed again.

"I know my love, I know…but Merlin it's not safe for you to be doing magic out in the open like that. If someone saw you it could mean your life."

It was obvious how young Merlin was when he stared up at his mother and asked why.

Hunith looked at him her eyes watering. "Merlin – the world we live in – there once was a king who loved his queen but she died and he became angry, like you sometimes are at Will, and he convinced the other kings that people like you are dangerous. "

 "Oh, is that why the villagers say that magic users are monsters?"

Hunith sucked in her breath. "Who said that?"

"Keith said that his mum and Dad told him that magic users were monsters and that they needed to be killed at all costs – Keith said if he ever see's anyone doing magic he'll kill them."

Hunith looked shattered.

"Oh Merlin, you must promise me that you'll be more careful from now on especially around Keith and his family, I don't want to see you hurt."

Merlin nodded and Hunith finally finished combing the knots out of his hair only to be rewarded with Merlin's droopy eyelids.

"There all done, now come let's get you ready for bed."

Merlin nodded and Arthur followed the tiny Merlin into what appeared to be a bedroom, Hunith helped him out of his clothes and handed him a sleep shirt that Merlin clumsily pulled over his head. With that done she tucked Merlin into bed – a straw mat, a pillow, and two blankets – and kissed his forehead. She was half way to the door when Merlin spoke.

"Mother?"

"Yes Merlin?"

"Am I a monster?"

"No Merlin, no. Never, you'll never be a monster."

"Good, I didn't think so. Night Mother."

And like all children, Merlin, once the immediate worry is soothed forgot that he was even worried.

"Goodnight, Merlin. I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

 Merlin is resting against the stone wall when they come to see him, he's been going in and out of consciousness for the last few hours and is exhausted and dizzy the pain barely bearable, he knows his magic is being sucked from him and he knows that he could be dead before his scheduled execution if he doesn't get out of this cell. He wonders what a better way to die, an executor's axe and having to stand in front of the people he has known for years and that had once trusted him and now might as well hate him, or die slowly and painfully in a cell as his magic is sucked from his very body.

He thinks it's the second option that sounds the best.

They come with shouts and angry cry's and Merlin sits up straight, they unlock the cell and literally drag him down the hallway, Merlin who's still dizzy and vaguely confused doesn't try to struggle until he sees the torture devices that line the walls of the room he had just been brought to.  They force him down into a chair, one on either side of him holding him down by his shoulders while two grab his wrists in an iron strong grip. The fifth and six push a table up until it's pushing uncomfortably into his stomach and then they speak.

"What did you do to the king, sorcerer?"

"What?"

He didn't realize he'd spoken out loud until he felt the man's hand on his cheek, snapping his head sideways, Merlin was sure his cheek was already red. He tries again because no matter what he would never do anything to hurt Arthur.

"Arthur? What's wrong with Arthur?"

He earns a slap for that.

"The king still breathes but refuses to wake; I'll repeat what did you do?"

Merlin freezes.


	3. III

It's an hour before Merlin is half carried back to his cell. It's half an hour later that Gwen arrives, Merlin sighs and shuffles towards the front of the cell, because if Arthur was under a spell then Merlin needed to know as much as he could. He'd tried to get something more than the fact that Arthur wouldn't wake up out of the guards that had tried to – interrogate him, but after a while he had stopped because they weren't budging, he sighed and used the bars of the cell to lower himself to the ground as the world tilted on its axis. Being back in this cell wasn't helping him any.

This was getting out of hand. He was about to speak but Gwen beat him to it, she spoke in a hurried buzz, her words jumbling together in ways they hadn't in years.

"Arthur will not wake Merlin, I do not know what to do, people fear sorcery and I am inclined to believe them, I know it wasn't you, your reactions yesterday prove that but that leaves the question who did do this?"

It's silent for a moment.

"What can you tell me?"

"Not much. Arthur wouldn't wake this morning, he still breathes but he doesn't move, he just lays there as if he's asleep."

Gwen sounded so helpless that Merlin wished he could hug her. But the best thing he could do right now was to try and figure out what the hell sorcerer the king had pissed off now. He hated asking this of Gwen but the best way he could tell if there was a spell placed on Arthur was if he could actually see Arthur. See if there was some kind of aura or something someone who didn't know what to look for would miss.

"Gwen is there any way I could see Arthur?"

Gwen pierces her lips.

"Yes, but you'll have to hurry. The guards shifts changes in an about half an hour so you'll have to go quick - " she pireced her lips again " - but I can't be traced back to this Merlin you understand that right?"

Merlin nodded, of course she couldn't with Arthur out of commission Camelot needed a ruler they could trust indefinitely, one that was strong and certainly not one that released a man who was considered a prisoner awaiting execution. With a nod Gwen pulled a key from out of the folds of her dress and hastily handed it to him. He took it and gave her a small smile.

"I'll be able to get the guards away from our chambers for an hour or two but Merlin, I don't know – "

"Thank you."

Gwen smiled slightly.

"No, thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, I still haven't figured out what's wrong."

"I know, but you will, thank you Merlin."

Then she was gone, purple velvet trailing behind her, Merlin sighed sliding the key over in his hands, warm medal sliding between his fingers only to be caught in his other hand. It would bloody well hurt but he needed to go now otherwise he would lose his chance.

* * *

 

Arthur watched as Merlin grew. That's the best way to describe it, because in one memory – because that's what they had to be – he's six and in the next he's twelve. It's strange and frankly a more then a bit disturbing and yet it's not unwelcome either, there were times in the past when he'd wondered about Merlin's roots. The brief time he'd spent in Ealdor had shown him very little and he'd wondered what kind of town – what kind of people – could shape someone like Merlin, someone that seemed to defy everything Arthur was ever taught.

So he supposed if he couldn't escape the spell then he might as well sit back and enjoy the show.

"It's cold!"

"That's because it's the middle of winter."

"Well why can't winter be warm?"

"Because it's winter Merlin, generally it's cold."

"Prat."

Will laughed and Arthur sighed, they were about sixteen he would guess, and in another two years Will would be dead, and Merlin – Merlin would be devastated, really the way Merlin had looked after Will's death was just – it had hurt to look at him. Arthur followed behind them as they trekked towards the woods that bordered the town. It was quite except for the sound of the two boys breathe and the dull lull of bird song, finally the two stopped in a clearing and Arthur moved to stand next to the two boys who were currently shading their eyes from the sun

"How are we going to do this?"

"Well you take your axe and you swing at the base of the –"

"I meant how are we going to cut down that beauty – "

Will gestured towards the largest tree in the clearing and Arthur watched alarm flash across Merlin's face.

"- down?"

"It's simple we're not."

"Why not? That's enough wood to keep the whole village warm for at least a couple weeks, if not a month, we'd be doing them all a favor. Aren't you the one that's always complaining about how cold it is?"

"Yeah well, I doubt your mum will thank me when I bring you back crushed to death."

"Lighten up Merlin, it'll be fine."

With that said Will began to hack away at the base of the tree.

* * *

 

Merlin sighed as he passed through the iron doorway, the headache that had been pounding through his skull lessening to a manageable level.

He knew he only had a small window of time before a guard came back down, and even then it was a long shot to get up to Arthur and Gwen's chambers without being seen. Idly he wondered why he was doing this for a man who had ordered his execution. But then he remembered who that man was. What he was – because no matter what Arthur was a good man, he fought for what he believed to be right for his people, and in a world where people only thought about how something would benefit them – well it was a rare and incredible thing.

He truly believed that Arthur was the king of destiny.

Then there was their destiny, something that while Merlin had initially believed in the beginning – well okay not completely but it had been enough – didn't even matter anymore, it didn't. It hadn't been about destiny in a long time.

He sighed and ducked around a corner as a guard passed. Finally after what seemed like ages he came upon the door he was looking for, and relieved that no guards were posted outside – and knowing that none ever would be posted on the inside, it had been something Arthur and then Gwen had always been adamant about – he slipped into Arthur and Gwen's chambers silently.

Gwen was sitting in a chair next to the bed, her hands carding through Arthur's light sunny hair. She was whispering to him and Merlin knew he was intruding on a private moment, he briefly considered leaving and entering with a bit more noise but that would be risky, so he simply cleared his throat. The queen startles but doesn't move and he takes that as a sign. Slowly he approaches Arthur until he's standing over him. Gwen was right he did appear to be sleeping – except there was stillness there as well that was never present before, it was…unnatural, especially for Arthur.

If he did not breathe then Merlin would swear him dead.

But he wasn't, and that's what Merlin thought about when his eyes flashed gold. He didn't cast a spell but rather tentatively reached out with his magic feeling around the room, and yes there was a spell on the prince, he could feel it, but the difference was –

The difference, he concluded was that this magic felt – innocent for lack of a better word. It felt like it was cast almost accidentally, without any malicious intent what so ever, but a spell to put someone to sleep like this? It was most always dark magic – and yet Merlin was reminded of his mother once telling him about his earliest feats of magic – and he realized it felt like it was cast by a child.

The signature was different too; it seemed to be a mix of magic's, it felt like a blatant contradiction to be perfectly honest. It felt like something hot – he translated that to hot hotheadedness – and cold – a sort of soft determination – there were other things mixed into it as well and Merlin couldn't make sense of this – it was bizarre.

Perhaps –

"This makes no sense…."

Gwen whirled around, and seeing Merlin's gold eyes and honest to god perplexed look, her stomach sinks.

"Merlin…what doesn't make sense?"

He turns his eyes to her, gold and wide and compelling.

"Gwen I don't – this magic it feels different – I don't, I don't know if I can fix this!"


	4. IV

It's midday when the old man approaches. Arthur who had been sitting on a rock – he was surprised when he didn't just fall through but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth – perks up the last few hours had been useless wastes of time.

"What are the two of you troublemakers doing?"

Merlin whips around from where he had been working on a smaller tree, and sets his axe down on the ground, he nervously smiles and speaks.

"Oh, Ol – I mean Simmons what are you doing out here – I mean its cold. And you're old. Wait! I didn't mean that! I mean, don't you usually get your wood from the market?"

"Yes – "

He circled Merlin who had stepped away from the tree and was now in front of Will – who still was hacking away at the base of the tree seemingly oblivious.

"- But I heard you two while out for a walk, and I knew where ever you too go trouble seems to follow, besides you wouldn't begrudge an old man the pleasure of a stroll through the woods would you? I mean you two wouldn't understand would you? To young, to stupid."

"Mr. Simmons I didn't mean – "

"Oh I know you didn't but that's because you never think, do you?"

"Mr. Simmons I don't know what Will and I did to make you – dislike us so much, but I can assure you we're deeply sorry, aren't we Will?"

"Not particularly."

Merlin glared at Will but quickly turned back to the old man. Arthur frowned, Merlin was jumpy, more jumpy then Arthur could ever remember seeing him actually. It was confusing because the man didn't seem like anything special. He was old, Merlin was right about that, probably older then Gaius, his back was bowed, his face wrinkled and ugly, pulled back in a snarl like it was, his hands liver spotted and wrinkled as well, he was certainly unpleasant but he couldn't seem to figure out why Merlin was so jumpy around him.

"Oh, it isn't William I dislike, he was a lovely boy if not a bit over confident before you came around – then you turned him into a terrible miscreant who enjoys causing trouble. But then again your mother was always trouble, and you are a bastard child, what can I expect?"

Three things happened at once:

One:

Merlin closed his eyes, head falling forward.

Two:

Will struck a little too hard and spun around fast, furious, and the tree tilted dangerously, falling at the wrong angle, falling down towards Merlin, Simmons, and Will.

And Three:

Merlin's eyes flew open wide, flaring gold.

The tree stopped, and Simmons and Will stared up at in unadulterated horror, then they're eyes turned to Merlin whose eyes were still golden, whose hands were still outstretched, and whose mouth was still frozen in a silent 'no'. Merlin's already wide eyes widened even more to the point where Arthur could barely see the whites of his eyes. He must have released the magic because the tree fell to the ground barely three feet from the old man who jumped and spun widely.

"You – I suspected – but, you boy – "

He swallowed visibly.

"– You are in a world of trouble, a sorcerer? Ohhh you do not know what you have done! I won't tell anyone now boy, but if you as much as slip up once, your head will be on the chopping block faster than you can blink, I'll make sure of it!"

With that the man was gone, disappearing back into the trees on shaky feet.

Will spun on Merlin then.

"What was that?"

"I-I don't know, Will!"

Merlin backed up, stumbling until his back hit a tree, his head swinging wildly from side to side looking for an escape, except he knew there was none, and instead he turned his too wide eyes on Will, who was now only an arm's length away.

"Merlin you know what it was."

"N-no I don't!"

Will touched Merlin's arm.

"You do, don't lie Merlin, it's okay."

Merlin shook his head widely, his cheeks wet with tears, he was terrified Arthur realized, more scared then Arthur had ever seen him.

"W-what's okay?"

Will smiled and Arthur saw something change in Merlin's eyes.

"You have magic Merlin, and I'm okay with it."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the same clearing at sunset, the snow sparkling in the sun's dying rays, he smiled slightly when he heard the bird song's on the wind, it's almost peaceful, he thought.

" – Merlin we've known each other since we were five, why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't Will, I couldn't! I was scared Will, bloody terrified, magic is – dangerous here, people fear it, people hate it, they would want me dead – I-I didn't want to die, I don't want to die! So I kept it a secret, and I wanted to tell you Will, but how could I?"

Arthur looked around for the two young men, he soon found them, they'd scrabbled up a tree and were sitting in one of the boughs, and Arthur frowned, Merlin was – well he was much as Arthur expected to find him, curled into himself resting against the tree trunk,l Will was lounging – because there was no better word for it – in the tree, spread out and laying on his back, one leg bent up at the knee while his head rested back, looking up into the upper branches. He looked relaxed, almost peaceful.

And Arthur wondered how he was so comfortable with a known sorcerer barely an arm's length away; he even appeared to have his eyes closed! Why wasn't he scared, Arthur wondered, why was he calm when Merlin was so close by?

How could he be, when Arthur himself couldn't?

"Like this – hey Will, I'm a warlock, I was born with magic, now let's go get something to eat – that's how Merlin. Why would you keep this from me?"

"You're not – not mad at me?"

"Why would I be? You saved me Merlin, I would be dead if it wasn't for you, and so would Old Man Simmons, you saved us today, I can't be mad about that, I am hurt though that you couldn't trust me, I know I trusted you."

Arthur winced, because hadn't he said something along the same lines to Merlin?

"I trusted you!"

"I know Will – I should have, but I didn't and I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry, I was an idiot, a prat, can you forgive me?"

Will sighed and the wind whistled through the tree's, the sun was almost gone by now, barely a sliver remained visible over the distant hills, and the fading light cast shadows on the ground, it was haunting and beautiful all at once.

"I suppose, it depends will you show me something magical, preferably something that can show us the way home because I doubt we'll be able to find our way back any other way?"

Merlin threw his head back and laughed as the scene changed. They were back in Hunith's home again; Merlin and Will were standing tensely a few feet away from the woman who was clutching a broom so hard that her knuckles were white.

"William, go home."

"What Hunith! Merlin didn't – "

"William, go home."

"But – "

"William!"

"He's my best friend!"

"Will…please, go."

Will turned to Merlin then and nodded.

"Fine, I'll go, but Hunith, I found out because he saved my life along with Simmons."

Finally the boy was gone and Hunith stared at her son.

"How could you Merlin?"

"I didn't do anything wrong!"

And then Hunith hugged him.

"I know my little falcon, I know, but I've decided Ealdor isn't safe anymore, you need to go away from here, do you remember me telling you about Camelot when you were small?"

"You're sending me away, to Camelot! The place where it all started!"

"I'm not sending you away Merlin, but I can't help you here either, I have an old friend there, he's a physician but more importantly he used to practice magic, Merlin you are – so very precious to me, you're the last thing I have of your father, but you need to go.You're powerful, so very powerful, more powerful than anyone I have ever known and I can't teach you how to control it, I know nothing Merlin, your magical and I'm not! I can't keep you here, I can't it's not fair to you, nor is it safe, you need to go to Camelot, Merlin."

"Mum I don't want to go."

She ran her hands over his head, fingers sifting through raven hair that had never quite lost its childlike curl, her baby was growing up, and she knew she couldn't keep him here, Merlin was meant for so much more then this life. She did not want him to go, if she could she would keep him with her forever, her precious child, but she knew it was time for him to go and test his wings, her little falcon was ready to sore.

"Sleep Merlin, you're not in trouble, I'm not mad. You'll need your rest; you'll be leaving in a week. I love you, my child."

Merlin nodded against her breast and pushed away. He slowly made his way into his bedroom and fell down on the bed that hadn't changed since his childhood and Hunith sat in a chair by his bed like she hadn't since he was a babe.

She hummed.

And when Merlin was asleep she ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead before walking slowly to her writing desk and sitting down. She grabbed a piece of parchment and her quill and began to write.

My dear Gaius,

I turn to you for I feel lost and alone and don't know who to trust. It is every mother's fate to think her child is special, and yet I would give my life that Merlin were not so. Ours is a small village and he is so clearly at odds with people here that, if he were to remain, I fear what would become of him. He needs a hand to hold, a voice to guide, someone that might help him find a purpose for his gifts.

I beg you, if you understand a mother's love for her son, keep him safe, and may God save you both.

Hunith

She sighed and just like before, she cried. And as the scene changed again and again, Arthur watched Merlin say his goodbyes and then he was off, and Arthur –

– Arthur could not control the tiny bit of excitement that bubbled up inside him, because Merlin was on his way to Camelot.

 

* * *

 

Merlin turned his eyes to Gwen, the gold having faded away leaving only electric blue gems glimmering dimly.

"I'm not all powerful Gwen, there are something's I just cannot do, I'm sorry, I truly am. But I don't know how to fix it all this time; Arthur, I think is beyond our reach…."

"No."

She says her voice firm, her eyes hard jewels.

"No you won't give up, we won't give up, Arthur wouldn't give up on us. We will not give up on him. We will find a way Merlin, we will – we have to – "

And then she cries, and Merlin, well he cries too.


	5. V: The Dragon's Call

Arthur watched as Merlin walked into Camelot for the first time.

It was a strange thing truly, to see something that too many would mean so little – travelers came and went, many never staying in one place for very long – but that he knew would change so many things, because if Merlin hadn't come to Camelot then really he doubted things would be like they were today.

Merlin was smiling and practically gaping in wonder, his head swinging from side to side, nose twitching, Arthur realized what a shock something like this must be, Ealdor was small and it's market compared to Camelot's was meager.

This was something Merlin had never seen before and Arthur took a moment to take in the look of innocent wonder on his face.

Merlin shifted his pack on his shoulders and followed the crowd, his brown jacket blending in with the weaving patterns of blue and red that was Camelot's people. Arthur found himself grinning right along with the fool, seeing his people like this would never be something he would tire of.

It was only when he heard the drums that the smile slipped from his face.

Not for the first time he wished he could be heard, Merlin had no clue what he was walking into, the boy was oblivious, he didn't know what the drums meant, he didn't know that it meant that someone was going to die, all Merlin knew was the festive colors of something bigger then he had ever known.

When Merlin came to stop at the back of the crowd, and the man was led out Arthur watched the smile fall away from Merlin's lips, leaving a pale face and a slack jaw in its place.

"Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is judged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And, pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery there is but one sentence I can pass.""

Arthur's head snapped up, as he took in his father like a man who had been deprived of water for too long and was now being offered as much as he could drink. It was almost painful to see him standing there so strong while Arthur knew what would become of him.

Then his father raised his hand and the man was forced down onto his knees, his head forced down onto the block and then the axe came down with a swing, the drums let out a final powerful pound, and the man was no more.

He only half processed the fact that he, his father, and Merlin had been the only one to not look away, the rest had hid their faces and flinched. He only half registered the rest of his father's speech because from where he was standing well, Thomas James Collins's lifeless eyes were staring into his as if to pass a harsher punishment then the one he had been dealt.

"When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos, but with the people's help magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery."

He registered his father's grin, the way his arms spread wide.

"Let the celebrations begin."

Then there was a wail, the people startled, whispering and parting to reveal an old woman dressed in brown, with gray hair that hung in flyaway wisps around her wrinkled and anguished face. With a sinking feeling he realized this must be the mother.

"There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic! It is you! With your hatred and your ignorance! You killed my son!"

She cried, her face contorting as tears fell down leather like cheeks, then all was still, as her face abruptly hardened, her arms sweeping out in a wide arc.

"But I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son!"

His father did not move and then:

"Seize her!"

The women shook her head, a spell fell from her lips and just like that she was gone in a swirl of black wind leaving nothing behind. His father whirled around disappearing as the people quickly turned away going about their business as usual.

Above him he faintly heard the sound of a window closing. He watched as Merlin bowed his head and turned away from the man's corpse, Arthur had to practically run to keep up with his hurried steps. Merlin turned into the castle, only stopping to ask a guard for directions to Gaius's.

Arthur watched him let himself into Gaius's chambers, knocking once on the open door, his head swiveling side to side in much the same way it had in the streets if only a bit more cautious. Seeing the old man Merlin cleared his throat.

"Hello? Gaius?"

The man turned around a smile on his lips to great whoever had entered his chambers, only for his face to go slack in shock as he tripped backwards the railing giving way, Merlin franticly looks around and then Arthur watched his eyes flash gold as everything just – stopped.

Then Merlin swept his hand out a mattress flying under Gaius catching him as he finally fell. Gaius sat up in a flash and was on his feet in seconds, eyes roaming over Merlin who, Arthur realized, looked terrified.

"What did you just do?"

"Erm..."

"Tell me!"

"I-I-I have no idea what happened."

"If anyone had seen that…"

"No! That-that was, that was nothing to do with me, that-that was..."

"I know what it was! I just want to know where you learned how to do it!"

"Nowhere."

"Then how is it that you know magic?"

"I don't!"

"Where did you study...answer me!"

"I-I've never studies magic or-or been taught!"

"Are you lying to me, boy?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth!"

"I was born like this!"

"That's impossible!"

Then, "Who are you?"

Merlin fished his backpack off of his shoulders nervously stuttering, before fishing around inside until he found what he was looking for, the letter Arthur remembered watching Hunith write, he quickly handed it to Gaius before backing up a step.

"I have this letter."

"I don't have my glasses…."

"I'm Merlin."

Something like recognition flashed across Gaius's face.

"Hunith's son?"

Merlin nodded his head, "Yes!"

"But you're not meant to be here till Wednesday!"

"….It is Wednesday…"

"Ah, right then. You better put your bag in there."

Merlin nodded and turned only to turn back.

"You-you won't say anything about, erm…."

Gaius looked shocked for a moment before he shook his head, and Merlin smiled slightly before turning on his heel, only to be called back by Gaiu's voice.

"Although Merlin, I should say thank you."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in a Gaius's chambers on what he assumed was to be the following morning, Merlin was sitting down eating Gaius's famous watery porridge, Arthur laughed at the look on his face only for the laughter to fade when Gaius purposefully knocked over a bucket of water.

Merlin looked up and his eyes flashed gold as the bucket of water stopped in midair, the water that would have hit the floor glinting like tiny crystals, Arthur found it strangely beautiful, Gaius gasped and whatever Merlin had done was broken because the bucket fell to the ground water splashing everywhere.

"How did you do that? Did you incant a spell in your mind?"

Merlin shook his head fast.

"I don't know any spells."

"So what did you do? There must be something."

"It just happens!"

Merlin looked down at his feet as he grabbed a mop to clear away the water that had spilled. Gaius sighed and grabbed two objects off of one of his many side tables before handing them to Merlin, taking the mop from his hands.

"Well, we better keep you out of trouble. You can help me until I find some paid work for you. Here's Hollyhock and Feverfew for Lady Percival, and this is for Sir Olwin. He's as blind as a weevil, so warn him not to take it all at once."

Arthur laughed then, because he remembered Sir Olwin waking around for day's drunk, at the time they assumed the old man had been drinking but it would appear not, really it was a good thing that Merlin did not work as a full time physician's assistant for long, he couldn't imagine how much trouble that would have been.

The scene changed again and Arthur found himself in the courtyard staring at, well – himself, or a younger him at least, a less wise him as well, he remembered this day and the serving boy, and as he watched himself he realized Merlin was right – he had been a prat, and he found himself almost happy when Merlin decided to intervene.

"Hey, come on. That's enough."

He watched himself stalk up to Merlin.

"What?"

"You've had your fun my friend."

"Do I know you?"

Merlin looked sheepish and held out his hand to which the younger him ignored.

"Er, no, I'm Merlin"

"So I don't know you."

"No,"

"Yet you called me 'friend'."

"That was my mistake."

"Yes, I think so."

"Yeah, I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass."

With that he watched Merlin turn on his heel and the younger him finger the sword at his hip as Merlin stopped walking with his next comment.

"Or I, one who could be so stupid, tell me Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?"

Merlin's back was rigid.

"No."

"Would you like me to teach you?"

"I wouldn't if I were you."

"Why? What are you going to do to me?"

"You have no idea."

Arthur winced at that, Merlin could have – most likely – killed him right there and yet he continued to taunt the man. His younger self could have been dead in less than a minute and no one would have been able to do anything, it was a chilling thought and the only consolation was the fact that Merlin hadn't.

He hadn't snapped once in all these years, Arthur wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"Be my guest! Come on! Come on! Come oooooon."

Merlin swung at his younger self and Arthur winced as his arm was wretched behind his back, Merlin glared and twisted so his eyes were staring up into his younger self's. Arthur remembered never having seen eyes quite like them.

"I'll have you thrown in jail for that!"

"What, who do you think you are? The King?"

"No. I'm his son, Arthur."

Then his younger self swung at Merlin's knee's as the scene changed, Merlin was in the stocks being pelted with fruits and vegetables by dimpled children a smile on his face. He almost wondered why he was seeing this until he saw Gwen.

His queen was younger here but she still had the same smile that Arthur loved and Arthur found himself smiling right along with her.

"I'm Guinevere, but most people call me Gwen. I'm the Lady Morgana's maid."

Merlin smiled and offered her his hand which Gwen took.

"I'm Merlin, although most people just call me idiot."

Arthur snorted and Gwen shook her head.

"No, no, no. I saw what you did. It was so brave."

Merlin looked down shaking his head.

"It was stupid."

"Well, I'm glad you walked away. You weren't going to beat him."

Merlin snorted and Arthur nodded because while he hated to admit it, if Merlin was allowed to use – his magic, then Arthur freely admitted that he would be beaten, if for no other reason but the fact that he had never fought someone one on one like that.

"Oh, I…I can beat him."

"You think? Because you don't look like one of these big, muscle-y kind of fellows."

Merlin's reply was flat.

"Thanks."

"NO! No, I'm sure you're stronger than you look. It just, erm…Arthur's one of these real rough, tough, safe the world kind of men, and….well…"

"What?"

"You don't look like that."

Arthur snorted as Merlin motioned for Gwen to come closer and in a whisper that really couldn't be considered a whisper said, "I'm in disguise." And Gwen oblivious to the truth in the statement laughed.

"Well it's great you stood up to him."

"What, you think so?"

"Arthur's a bully, and everyone thought you were a real hero."

Arthur didn't have time to digest that idea as the children that had previously left came running back baskets of fruit in their hands and Merlin grinned at Gwen, "Oh excuse me Guinevere, my fans are waiting." Gwen grinned and quickly dashed out of the way just in time for the first tomato to go flying.

The memory changed and Arthur found himself in Gaius's chambers.

"Do you want some vegetables with that?"

Arthur straight out laughed while Merlin snorted.

"I know you're still angry with me."

"Your mother asked me to look after you."

"Yes."

"What did your mother say to you about your gifts?"

"That I was special."

Gaius nodded and Merlin turned back to his food, only for Gaius to speak again.

"You are special, the likes of which I have never seen before."

Merlin looked up again then.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, magic requires incantations, spells, it takes years to study. What I saw you do was – elemental, instinctive."

Merlin drug the spoon around in his stew, creating patterns and Arthur stepped closer, he was surprisingly interested in the answers the next few minutes could bring, perhaps they could show him what made Merlin different from all the rest.

"What's the point if It can't be used?"

Gaius sighed.

"That I do not know. You are a question that has never been posed before, Merlin."

Merlin seemed to nod and both men turned back to their dinners and Arthur expected the world to shift to a new memory, but it didn't instead he watched in silence until finally Merlin looked up again, a question on his lips.

"Did you ever study magic?"

"Uther banned all such work twenty years ago."

"Why?"

"People used magic for the wrong end at that time. It threw the natural order into chaos. Uther made it his mission to destroy anything from back then, even the dragons."

"What? All of them?"

Gaius paused.

"There was one dragon he chose not to kill, kept it as an example. He imprisoned it in a cave deep beneath the castle where no one can free it, now eat up. When you're finished, I need you to take a preparation to Lady Helen. She needs it for her voice."

Merlin nodded as the memory shifted.

He was in the guest chambers that Arthur remembered always being assigned to Lady Helen while she was at the castle, Merlin walked foreword and set the preparation on the tale only to pick up a small doll made out of straw, and shift through a pile of strange looking books with symbols that Arthur had never seen before.

Suddenly hearing footsteps he put the doll and the books back in there places, Merlin spun around to face the dark haired woman.

"What are you doing in here?"

"An..I-I was asked to deliver this."

Picking up the preparation he handed it to the woman before quickly leaving the guest chambers, and Arthur did not blame him – that doll, those books – they where strange and eerie, Merlin quickly hurried down the stairs and out into the courtyard where he was stopped by a voice.

"How's your knee-walking coming along?"

Arthur groaned, he really was beginning to hate his younger self, he was far too confident, all though if he remembered correctly this was his first almost defeat in – then – ages and he was curious to see how Merlin did it, although he had a sneaking idea that magic was involved.

He watched Merlin keep walking only to stop with younger Arthur's next comment.

"Aw, don't run away!"

"From you?"

"Thank god. I thought you were deaf as well as dumb."

Merlin turned around then.

"Look, I've already told you you're an ass; I just didn't realize you were a royal one. Oh, what are you going to do? Get your daddy's men to protect you?"

His younger self laughed.

"I could take you apart with one blow."

"I could take you apart with less than that."

"Are you sure?"

Merlin stood still for a moment before shrugging off his jacket. Younger Arthur laughed again as a mace was handed to him, which his younger self tossed to Merlin who – in true Merlin fashion – completely missed. Merlin bent down and picked his up while his younger self began to swing his own back and forth with ease.

"Come on, then. I warn you, I've been trained to kill since birth."

Arthur snorted as he remembered the nickname that was about to make its first appearance. Merlin stared at his opponent a mocking glint in his electric orbs.

"Wow, and how long have you been training to be a prat?"

Both Arthur's snorted.

"You can't address me like that."

"I'm sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat – " Merlin bent at the waist in a mocking bow " – my lord?"

His younger self began to swing at Merlin then who franticly backed up, Arthur backed him up into a market stall and he watched his younger self thrill at the crowd that was gathering. Merlin backed u farther and the man fell.

"Haha. You're in trouble now."

Merlin looked around, his eyes swinging from side to side until they landed on two large hooks and he smiled slightly as his eyes flashed gold and younger Arthur's mace became entangled. He got it untangled in record time and was on Merlin again, Merlin's eyes flashed and a box moved into Arthur's path.

"OW! Argh!"

The younger Arthur comes at him again, and Merlin's eyes flash as a rope tightened causing him to trip, Merlin then picked up his previously discarded mace and began to swing it at Arthur.

"Do you want to give up?"

"To you?"

"Do you? Do you want to give up?"

The younger Arthur was on his feet again, and Arthur winces as his younger selves' foot landed in a bucket causing him to lose his balance once more and fall to the ground.

Merlin looked around a grin on his face only to catch Gaius in the crowd, and that was all the time his younger self needed, grabbing a nearby broom he knocked Merlin to the ground, as the guards to tried to pick him up, most likely to bring him to the dungeons, but his younger self stopped them.

"Wait. Let him go. He may be an idiot, but he's a brave one. There's something about you, Merlin. I can't quite put my finger on it."

You won't ever truly be able to either, Arthur thinks.

It's in that moment that Gaius pulls Merlin away, and Arthur, when the memory didn't change hurried after them, Gaius did not speak until they were safely inside his chambers only then did he round on Merlin.

"How can you be so foolish?!"

"He needed to be taught a lesson."

Gaius sighed in frustration.

"Magic must be studied, mastered, and used for good! Not for your idiotic pranks!"

"What is there to maser? I could move objects like that before I could talk!"

"Then, by now you should know who to control yourself!"

Merlin rounded on him then.

"I don't want to! If I can't use magic, what have I got? I'm just a nobody, and I always will be, if I can't use magic I might as well die!"

Merlin sighed then, all anger seemly having left him and turned on his heel heading into his bedroom. Gaius followed a basket in his hands and sighed at the sight of Merlin spread out on the bed.

"Merlin? Sit up. Take your shirt off."

Merlin sat up with a groan removing his shirt over his head; Arthur winced at the bruises that stood out in black and blue shadows along the otherwise pale skin. Gaius pressed a compress to his shoulder and Merlin winced, sitting up straighter.

"You don't know why I was born like this, do you?"

Gaius sighs.

"No."

"I'm not a monster, am I?"

And Arthur remembers a six year old Merlin with sleepy eyes and wild curls asking his mother the same question, except back then Merlin believed – like all children do – that his mother knew everything and accepted her answer easily.

But Merlin wasn't six anymore and Arthur could see it in his eyes that Merlin truly believed himself to be a monster, it was truly sad and Arthur found himself wishing he could be heard if only to reassure this young man that he wasn't the things nightmares are made up of.

Gaius leaned forward so he was eye to eye with Merlin.

"Don't ever think that."

"Then why am I like this? Please, I need to know why."

Gaius sighed.

"Maybe there's someone with more knowledge then me."

"If you can't tell me, no one can."

Gaius sighed and poured a potion into a cup that he handed to Merlin.

"Take this. It will help with the pain."

The memory shifted then and Arthur found himself in Merlin's bedroom at what he guessed to be midnight, Merlin was asleep and Arthur wondered why this was important.

"Merlin….Merlin…"

Ah yes, that was why it was important, a strange disembodied voice was calling for Merlin, why wasn't he surprised. Merlin sits up then and sneaks past a sleeping Gaius and out of his chambers, Arthur follows on swift feet as they make their way through the deserted square.

Merlin steps back into the castle and quickly descends a staircase that Arthur doesn't remember ever having seen before. He stops half way down spotting two guards. His eyes flash and the men's dice scatter away repeatedly until both guards had followed them far enough away that Merlin could easily light a torch and slip past them.

"Merlin….Merlin…."

Ah yes, there was the disembodied voice again. Merlin had by now reached a cave and Arthur found himself knowing he wasn't going to like what happened next.

There was the sound of a deep gravely laughter and then, "Merlin."

"Where are you?"

And suddenly there was the sound of wings, a sound Arthur didn't think he would ever forget. Merlin backed up quickly the torch he held flickering, but he did not run. Arthur was not sure he could say he would do the same if in Merlin's situation.

"I'm here. How small you are for such a great destiny."

"Why? What do you mean? What destiny?"

What destiny, indeed.

'Your gift, Merlin, was given to you for a reason."

Merlin's face seemed to lighten a bit at that.

"So there is a reason…"

It sounded almost like a prayer to Arthur's ears.

"Arthur is the Once and Future King. He will unite the land of Albion."

Merlin nodded his head shakily.

"But he faces many threats from friend and foe alike."

"I don't see what this has to do with me."

"Everything, Merlin. Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion."

Merlin shook his head fast at that, and Arthur stood there next to him slack jawed, because this lizard was reciting prophecies about him and Merlin, and yet it wasn't the most shocking thing he had ever seen.

"No, No, you've got this wrong!"

"There is no right or wrong, only what is and what isn't"

"But I'm serious! If anyone wants to go and kill him, they can go ahead. In fact, I'll give them a hand."

Arthur winced and the dragon roared with laughter.

"None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it."

"No, no way, No, no, there must be another Arthur because this one's an idiot!"

The dragon was quiet for a moment and then: "Perhaps it's your destiny to change that." With that the great beast flapped its wings and was gone. The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the banquet hall following Gaius and Merlin in, both of who stopped by a table laden with food.

Then Morgana walked by and Arthur had to fight the urge to snarl despite the fact that no one would hear him. His – sister was a subject that was never breached around the castle except in council meetings where she was brought up almost constantly because of her unknown whereabouts and her constant threat.

He didn't like to talk about her – he would probably always carry the wounds of her betrayal – and to see her here in this court angered him. She was a traitor and there was nothing he hated more, Morgana was a wretched human being and seeing her here was enough to make anyone who had experienced her tyranny snarl.

Plus there was the way his younger self was staring after her that he found wildly disturbing.

He only lessoned his glare and turned back to Merlin when he heard Gwen's voice. His queen was smiling widely and carrying a jug of what he assumed to be wine, her hair was pulled back into a tail at the nap of her neck, loose curls flying every which way.

In short, she was beautiful.

"She looks great, doesn't she?"

Merlin who hadn't taken his eyes away, nodded, his Adams apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed. Again Arthur found the way everyone's eyes were on the traitor disturbing.

"Yeah."

"Some people are just born to be queen."

"No!"

"I hope so. One day. Not that I'd want to be her. Who'd want to marry Arthur?"

Merlin chuckled.

"Oh, come on, Gwen. I thought you liked those real rough, tough, save the world kind of men."

"No, I like much more ordinary men like you."

What?

"Gwen, believe me, I'm not ordinary."

"NO, I didn't mean you, obviously, not you. But just, you know, I like much more ordinary men like you."

"Thanks."

Then the horns sounded and the large ornate doors swung open, everyone hurried into their lines as his father swept in a smile on his lips. Walking to the front of the room he smiled again and began his speech.

We have enjoyed twenty years of peace and prosperity. It has brought the kingdom and myself many pleasures, but few can compare with the honor of introducing Lady Helen of Mora."

He then swept his arms open with a final smile and took his seat between Morgana and Arthur's younger counterpart.

Lady Helen swept in a blur of yellow and began to sing. At first the song was normal, but just as he remembered – or rather didn't remember – people began to fall asleep, their heads dropping onto their shoulders, or onto another person's shoulder, and in the case of one man onto the table.

His younger self, the traitor, and his father where asleep at the high table, and he watched in horror as cobwebs began to form, as the room darkened with nothing but the force of her magic and the power of her song.

He remembered though waking up –

So how? But then –

His eyes landed on Merlin who had his hands over his ears and was franticly looking around. Helen began to walk foreword then, her arms spread wide until she finally reached into the sleeve of her dress to pull out an ornately carved dagger.

He turned his head back to Merlin, because he knew Merlin had to have done something, and as if by prayer Merlin's eyes flashed gold as Lady Helen stepped under a chandelier and it came down on her, pinning her to the ground.

And just like that people began to wake up.

But just as he remembered Lady Helen sat up and threw a dagger. However this time he saw what he hadn't before, he watched Merlin's eye flash gold as the dagger drastically slowed allowing Merlin time to dash across the room and push Arthur down.

The dagger embedded itself into Arthur's chair dead center where his heart would have been. Both his younger self and his father stared at Merlin in something resembling wonder, finally his father licked his lips and spoke.

"You saved my boy's life. A debt must be repaid."

"Oh, well…"

"Don't e so modest. You shall be rewarded."

"No, honestly, you don't have to, your highness."

"No absolutely. This merits something quite special."

"Well…"

"You shall be rewarded a position in the royal household. You shall be Prince Arthur's manservant."

The scene changed.

He was in Merlin's bedroom now as the man stared into a dancing candle with a look that Arthur, if prompted at sword point could not possibly hope to explain in a way that would make any sense. Arthur almost wished he could hear what Merlin was thinking.

The door opened and Merlin looked up slightly, as Gaius came in, a book wrapped in red cloth in his hands.

"Seems you're a hero."

"Hard to believe, isn't it?"

"No. I knew it from the moment I met you. When you saved my life, remember?"

Merlin looks confused.

"But….that was magic…."L

Gaius nodded, "and now, it seems, we finally found a use for it."

"What do you mean?"

"I saw how you saved Arthur's life."

Merlin shook his head.

"Perhaps that's its purpose."

Merlin sighed deeply, the look he had had in his eyes when the door had first opened returning as his next words gave Arthur a good idea to what he had been thinking about.

"My destiny."

"Indeed, this book was given to me when I was your age, but I have a feeling it will be of more use to you than it ever was to me."

Gaius handed the book to Merlin, who removed the cloth, unlatched the book, and began to flip through the pages, only to look up at Gaius in wonder, a smile starting to color his features.

"But this is a book of magic!"

Gaius nodded, "which is why you must keep it hidden."

Merlin was grinning out right by now.

"I will study every word."

There was a knock that Arthur assumed came from the main door to Gaius's chambers and then, "Merlin, Prince Arthur wants you right away."

Merlin rolled his eyes as Gaius smiled.

"Your destiny's calling. You'd better find out what he wants."

The scene changed.


	6. VI: Valiant

Arthur winced as Merlin came stumbling into Gaius's chambers.

"Do you hear clanging?"

He almost laughed, would have, if he did not see how unsteady Merlin was on his feet, Gaius noticed this quickly pulled the remaining armor off of Merlin and pushed him down into a chair. Arthur winced again as he heard Merlin's sharp intake of breath.

He knew he was often….hard on Merlin, especially when he used the manservant for training but – he didn't think – he winced again, he sometimes forgot with Merlin being well – Merlin, rushing headfirst into danger that he wasn't a knight. That his body wasn't used to training like this.

"It was horrible. Ahh, and I've still got to learn all about tournament etiquette by the morning," Merlin looked up and Arthur watched his eyes flash gold, "onhríne achtung bregdan." A book that Arthur hadn't noticed before slid across the table, flying open. Arthur was surprised when he didn't startle.

Gaius gave a surprised snort and slapped the back of Merlin's head.

"What've I told you about using magic like this?"

Merlin winces.

"If I could actually feel my arms, I'd pick up the book myself."

Gaius sighed and resumed his massaging.

"Never mind you arms. What do I do if you get caught?"

Merlin looked curious at that, which Arthur found odd, but then again through the years Merlin had been curious about a lot of strange things and Arthur found this to be one of the least odd.

"What would you do?"

Gaius doesn't answer.

"Well you just make sure it doesn't happen, for both our sakes."

Merlin yelped as Gaius touched his left shoulder and Arthur winced, perhaps the next time he trained with Merlin he could be a bit more gentle if it caused the servant this much pain. But – there really wouldn't be a next time, would there?

He'd made sure of that.

He turned his attention back to Gaius and Merlin's conversation.

"We all have our duties, Merlin. Even Arthur."

Merlin snorted.

"It must be so tough for him with all the girls and the glory."

"He is a future king. People expect so much of him. He's under a lot pressure."

There was silence and then Gaius gave a jerk of Merlin's shoulder as Arthur winced at the sound of bone's sliding against each other before popping back into their rightful place.

The scene changed.

Arthur found himself staring at Merlin and his younger self again. He wondered if it was bad that he wanted to punch his younger self because of the sheer amount of arrogance that resided in sneer he was directing at Merlin.

"You do know the tournament starts today?"

Ah yes, he remembers this now, he remembers the frustration that Merlin wasn't quick, and his hands were clumsy, he remembers the way his insides had been twisted into a knot, he remembers how impressed he'd been that Merlin had known what to do at all.

He doesn't remember ever being this mad before a tournament however.

He knew he was a royal – well, pain. That is he'd been told by Merlin and when he'd been younger, by quite a few disgruntled nursemaids, but this, he didn't remember this. He hoped that he still wasn't like this.

"Yes sire."

It was silent for a moment except for the scraping of fabric against metal.

"You nervous?"

"I don't get nervous."

Arthur snorted; and Merlin gave him a look that he would become quite familiar with in the coming years, clearly Merlin didn't believe his younger self either.

"Really? I thought everyone got nervous."

His younger self snaps.

"Will you shut up!"

Merlin has the audacity to grin as he fastens the cape around his younger self's neck, and hands him his helmet. "Great yeah, I think you're all set." Younger Arthur sneers, "Aren't you forgetting something?" Merlin looked around, and Arthur shook his head at the look of confusion on his face.

"My sword."

Merlin looked sheepish and his younger self grabbed the sword from his hands and stalked off. Merlin blew a bit of air from his lips, his unevenly cut fringe fluttering.

"That went well."

Arthur hurried after Merlin, who he found had been a lot closer then remembered him being, the idiot had hidden himself away behind a pillar dangerously close to the arena. He sighed and watched Merlin's face throughout his father's speech.

He wondered if Merlin hated his father.

"Knights of the realm, it's a great honor to welcome you to a tournament of Camelot. Over the next three days, you will come to put your bravery to the test, your skills as warriors, and of course, to challenge the reigning champion, my son, Prince Arthur."

"Only one can have the honor of being crowned champion, and he will receive a prize of 1,000 gold pieces."

Things went quickly after that scenes blurring in and out at a rapid pace, he watched himself beat opponent after opponent and then he watched as his younger self and Merlin watched Valiant fight. He can't recall being afraid of him, or at least then, but knowing what was to come he wondered if he should have been.

Valiant exited the arena and approached the two.

"May I offer my congratulations on your victories today?"

His younger self nodded.

"Likewise."

"I hope to see you at the reception this evening."

Then he was gone.

"Creep."

His younger self snorted along with Merlin. Then; "Uh, for tomorrow you need to repair my shield, wash my tunic, clean my boots, sharpen my sword, and polish my chainmail."

He remembered being afraid of the fact that Merlin could make him laugh right along with him. His father's teachings about how to rule had been in the front of his head and now wished he could tell his younger self what he now knew about what it was to truly rule over Camelot.

The scene changed.

The first thing he heard was the hissing.

He wonders if he should be surprised when – instead of turning and running for help like a normal servant – Merlin decided to investigate, he also feels he should be more shocked when the eye of the shield blinked, no matter knowing the outcome.

But he isn't, he does start however when the sword is thrust at Merlin's chest, Merlin finally showing the correct amount of fear backed up from the shield. Valiant was – glowering at Merlin – glaring in a way that made Arthur's skin crawl.

"Can I help you with something, boy?"

Merlin shook his head.

"Nope. I'm good. I-I was just…I was, erm, gathering my master's armor."

Valiant glowered.

"Then you best be on your way."

Merlin nodded gathering all the pieces of armor nearly falling as Valiant stuck his foot out. The scene changed and Arthur found himself in Gaius's chambers as Merlin and Gaius hovered over a prone form that Arthur vaguely recognized.

"How is he?"

Gaius frowned as Arthur stepped forward slipping through Merlin – it was odd, the rush of cold and warm that was the response of such an action – to stare down at the young man that Arthur now remembered being a competitor in the tournament.

He took note of the two small, ragged holes in the man's neck.

"It's most odd. Look at this. See these two small wounds. Looks like a snake bite."

"How could he have been bitten by a snake? He was injured in the sword fight." Gaius didn't look up, but his brow creased further, "But the symptoms are consistent with poisoning: slow pulse, fever, paralysis."

"Can you heal him?"

"Well, if it is a snake bite, I'll have to extract venom from the snake that bit him to make an antidote."

"What happens if he doesn't get the antidote?"

"Then I'm afraid there's nothing more I can do for him. He's going to die."

Arthur stepped back just in time to see Merlin's jaw tense.

"He was fighting Knight Valiant."

Gaius looked up.

"What's that?"

"Nothing."

Then he turned on his heel and left. Arthur followed lengthening his strides to keep up with Merlin – he didn't want to think about what would happen if he lost sight of him in what was essentially a memory – who turned ducked into a hallway.

A familiar hallway, and really it must be some horrible coincidence that they'd given Valiant the same rooms as they'd given the mother that impersonated Lady Helen (1) and he see's realization flash behind Merlin's eyes before he cracks the door open.

The shield is – alive, and yeah, he knew it was, but to see the horror in Merlin's face and when Arthur had fought Valiant he had known but – this? He didn't like it, he liked it even less when Merlin gasped and Valiant gave chase.

Merlin didn't stop running until he reached Gaius's chambers where the physician was sitting next to the bed where the fevered young man lies. Merlin spoke, his face ashen.

"I've just seen one of the snakes in Valiant's shield come alive. He's using magic."

Gaius looked up, his face entirely serious.

"Are you sure?"

"The snake ate a mouse – one swallow, straight down. Sir Ewan was fighting Valiant when he collapsed. It must've been one of the snakes from the shield. I have to tell Arthur."

Gaius sighed.

"Is there any chance you might be mistaken?"

"I know magic when I see it."

"Perhaps, but have you any proof?"

Merlin looked vaguely hurt at that.

"Don't you believe me?"

"I fear you'll land yourself in trouble. How will you explain why you were in Valiant's chambers?"

"What does it matter? He's using magic to cheat in the tournament!"

"But you can't go accusing a knight of using magic without proof. The King would never accept the word of servants over the word of a knight."

"What? So what I say doesn't count for anything?"

Gaius frowned, a shadow of – something, passing across his face. (2)

"I'm afraid it counts for very little as far as the King is concerned. That's the way it is."

The scene changed.

Merlin rounded on Gaius something like fire burning in his blue eyes.

"Valiant's going to fight Arthur in the final. He'll use the shield to kill him."

Merlin turned and stalked away.

The scene changed again

Arthur found himself standing next to Merlin who was staring down at Ewan – it was dark, the room illuminated only by candles and Arthur found himself just staring at Merlin, the man looked haunted in a way that Arthur had seen only a few times before.

Looking at Merlin now he could see how someone could mistake Merlin for being something otherworldly – it was in the way he stared far too hard, the way he seemed to see right through you and the way his blue irises seemed to be ringed in gold in the flickering light of the candles.

Merlin looked fae, and the very thought that Merlin could be something so – untouchable scared him, this man he was seeing in these memories? It was so different then the Merlin he knew – the one he assumed was lazy and at times in the past useless – and he wondered how he hadn't seen this.

Not just the sorcery but the very person Merlin was.

The door opened but Merlin barely acknowledged it. Arthur turned his head and watched Gaius walk to stand beside his ward, his eyes unreadable.

"Merlin, about what I said yesterday….look, Uther wouldn't really listen to you or me, but you are right. We can't let Valiant get away with this."

Merlin didn't look up, but he spoke his voice flat.

"But we don't have any proof."

"Well if we could cure Ewan he could tell the King that Valiant was using magic. The king would believe another knight. But how we get the antidote…well, that's another matter."

Merlin pushed off of the table he was leaning against and left without a backward glance. Arthur followed his heart sinking because of course Merlin would want to do it himself. He sighed and watched as Merlin's eyes flashed gold a spell falling from his lips as the door unlocked itself with a soft click.

Merlin steps inside the room and grabs a sword from a rack; he approached the shield on cautious feet, until the tip of the sword was poking the shield.

Nothing happened, Arthur sighed in relief only to take a sharp intake when he heard the sound of approaching feet. Merlin turned and Arthur has the advantage point to see what Merlin could not, he watched the snake slowly slither out.

Arthur did not yell, he did however tell Merlin – who he rationally knew would not hear – in a very loud voice to turn around or run.

Merlin whirled and swiftly cut the head from the snake only stopping long enough to pick it up before he was dashing from the room as the rest of the snakes slowly slithered from the shield. Merlin once again ran from Valiant's chambers all the way to Gaius's.

Merlin burst through the door handing a shocked Gaius the head before sinking down into a chair pale faced and gulping in air. Gaius quickly grabbed a small bottle pushing the fangs down into it to extract the poison.

The sickly liquid slowly trickled into the bottle.

"I'll get started preparing the antidote."

Merlin nodded pushing himself to his feet.

"I'm going to tell Arthur."

Gaius nods thrusting the snake head into Merlin's hands. Merlin turns then and is ready to leave and just like the first day Gaius calls him back.

"And Merlin, what you did was very brave."

Foolish, dangerous, Arthur thinks but he nods, because it was brave to, it was recklessly brave and it was something Merlin seemed to excel at. Arthur followed Merlin then and watched the disbelief flash across his younger self's face.

You? You chopped its head off?

Merlin nodded his head jerkily. Arthur took note of how white Merlin was and he wondered why his younger self didn't.

"Ewan was bitten by a snake from the shield when he was fighting Valiant. You can talk to Gaius, you can see the puncture wounds in Ewan's neck where the snake bit him. Ewan was beating him, he had to cheat."

"Valiant wouldn't dare use magic in Camelot."

"I don't like the guy, but that doesn't mean he's cheating. "

"Gaius is preparing an antidote to the snake venom. When Ewan's conscious, he'll tell you what happened. If you fight Valiant in the final, he'll use the shield. It's the only way he can beat you. Look at it! "

Merlin grabbed the snake head and thrust it at Arthur, his eyes daring his younger self not to pay attention, not to believe him. Arthur remembers those eyes and he remembers believing because there was no way the fear and concern in Merlin's eyes could be fake.

"Have you ever seen any snakes like this in Camelot?" Younger Arthur doesn't respond but Merlin doesn't give him a chance to "I know I'm just a servant and my word doesn't count for anything. I wouldn't lie to you."

Finally his younger self cleared his throat his eyes and face serious.

"I want you to swear to me what you're telling me is true. "

Merlin nodded.

"I swear it's true."

His younger self nodded.

"Then I believe you."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the throne room his father and Valiant in front of him, Valiant who was clutching his shield a little too tightly. His father strode foreword.

"Why have you summoned the court?"

Younger Arthur strode foreword meeting his father halfway.

"I believe Knight Valiant is using a magic shield to cheat in the tournament."

His father looked doubtful but turned to Valiant.

"Valiant, what do you have to say to this?"

"My Lord, this is ridiculous. I've never used magic. Does your son have any evidence to support this outrageous accusation?"

His father raised an eyebrow but turned towards his younger counterpart.

"Do you have evidence?"

Younger Arthur nodded motioning Merlin foreword who handed him the king the snake head. The king looked at it for a moment – turning it this way and that – before turning back to court. "Let me see the shield." His younger counterpart drew his sword as the king poked and prodded the shield to no effect.

"As you can see, my Lord, it's just an ordinary shield."

His younger self scoffed. "He's not going to let everyone see the snakes come alive."

His father turned to him then. "Then how am I to know that what you say is true?"

"I have a witness. Knight Ewan was bitten by one of the snakes from the shield. It venom made him grievously ill; however, he received an antidote. He will confirm that Knight Valiant is using magic to cheat."

"Where is this witness?"

His younger self looked around.

"He should be here…."

"I'm waiting!"

His younger self swallowed. "I'm afraid the witness is dead."

"So you have no proof to support these allegations. Have you seen Valiant using magic?"

"No. But my servant fought one of the snakes from..."

"Your servant? You made these outrageous accusations against a knight on the word of your servant." His father looked murderous. "I believe he's telling the truth."

Valiant stepped forward then.

"My lord, am I really to be judged on some hearsay from a boy?" Merlin burst forward then and Arthur was reminded of stupid reckless bravery. "I've seen those snakes come alive!"

His father rounded on the stupidly reckless man. "How dare you interrupt?! Guards!" Two guards grabbed Merlin by the arms then and pulled, Valiant smirked. "My Lord."

"Wait!"

I'm sure he was merely mistaken. I wouldn't want him punished on my account."

His father rounded on his younger self, rounded on Arthur.

"You see? This is how a true Knight behaves – with gallantry and honor."

"My lord, if your son made accusations because he's afraid to fight me, then I will graciously accept his withdrawl."

His father looked shocked at that.

"Is this true? Do you wish to withdraw from the tournament?"

"No!"

"Then what am I to make of these allegations?"

"Obviously there has been a misunderstanding. I withdraw the allegation against Knight Valiant. Please accept my apology."

Valiant nodded, the smirk not having left his lips.

"Accepted."

The scene changed.

I believed you; I trusted you, and you made me look a complete fool."

Merlin sighed and Arthur realized how tired he looked. Arthur sighed and wondered why his younger self couldn't see it.

"I know it didn't go exactly to plan? My father and the entire royal court think I'm a coward! YOU HUMILUATED ME!"

Arthur turned away then. He knew what was coming next.

"We can still expose Valiant."

"I no longer require your services."

"You're sacking me?"

"I need a servant I can trust."

"You can trust me!"

"And look where it got me this time. Get out of my sight!"

The scene changed and Arthur turned back around. Arthur watched Merlin. The man looked furious and the torch he carried swung back and forth as he seemed to search out the cave's inhabitant.

"Where are you? I just came to tell you: whatever you think my destiny, whatever it is you think I'm supposed to do, you've got the wrong person! That's it. Goodbye."

Merlin turned to leave as the dragon descended.

"If only it were so easy to escape one's destiny."

"How can it be my destiny to protect someone who hates me?" Arthur frowned Arthur didn't think he had it in him back then to hate Merlin. He had been angry but he'd never hated him.

"A half cannot truly hate that which made it whole. Very soon you shall learn that."

"Oh, great. Just what I needed. Another riddle."

Arthur snorted.

"That your and Arthur's path lies together is but the truth."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know, young warlock, this is not the end. It is the beginning."

Merlin growled.

"Just give me a straight answer!"

The scene changed and Arthur blinked. Merlin was wheeling a wheelbarrow, with a dog statue in it. Sadly it wasn't the strangest thing he'd seen today. Or yesterday, there was no measure of time here and he wondered how long this had been going on for.

"What are you doing with that?"

Ah, Gaius. Good old Gaius.

"I'm going to let everyone see the snakes for themselves."

Arthur frowned. This didn't sound at all safe. Merlin wheeled the statue into his room before pulling up a loose floorboard and removing his spell book. Settling himself on the bed Merlin flipped through the book before settling on a single page.

Arthur couldn't read it at all. But apparently Merlin could.

"Bebay odothay. Bebay odothay arisan quickum."

Nothing happened and Merlin frowned.

"Bebay odothay arisan quickum. Bebay odothay arisan quickum."

Again nothing, Arthur groaned and settled himself down on the floor and watched. Merlin tried the spell well into the night, until finally he fell asleep sitting up, Arthur frowned, the idiot. He was going to kill himself like that, working until finally he fell asleep exhausted.

Arthur watched until finally in the early morning he woke, already muttering the spell.

"Bebay odothay...arisan quickum."

He sighed.

Merlin tried again, his head settling on his chest his eyes closed.

"Bebay odothay arisan quickum."

There was a growl and Arthur started his eyes swinging to Merlin then the stature that – wasn't a stature anymore but a growling dog. A big, growling dog.

"Bebay odothay arisan quickum."

The dog barked and Merlin's eyes flew open before a grin broke out across his face. "I did it!" The dog barked and Merlin was on his feet in seconds and out the door shutting it in the growling animals face. Gaius looked up.

"Arthur's fighting Valiant!"

"I know. I'm on my way. Oh, whatever you do, don't go into my room. We'll deal with it later."

Arthur laughed as the scene changed and Merlin muttered the spell. Arthur watched his own shocked face as the snakes burst forth from the shield. He remembered being terrified as the snakes came at him but most of all he remembers Valiant's horror filled gaze.

"What are you doing? I didn't summon you."

He remembers being confused by that statement, because as far as he could tell the snakes had to be summoned and who would summon them except for the owner?

Apparently a Warlock would.

The fight was over then and the scene changed.


	7. VII

He goes back to the dungeons around midday on the excuse that someone was bound to find him missing. Gwen just nods, she's been quiet since she'd admitted her belief that Arthur wouldn't have given up on them, and Merlin couldn't stand the silence any longer.

He's so confused.

He slips into his cell with the key and slides down to the floor in the darkest corner.

"Why would anyone – "

He doesn't understand it, the magic wasn't what he thought he would find, he had thought – well never mind what he had thought because it was irrelevant. He was used to magic being used for evil against Arthur. He was used to that sick twisted dark magic, that when he felt it made him feel sick – nauseous in the worst way. Not something like this, never anything like this, he'd met so few sorcerers and sorceresses that were like him in their beliefs that violence would solve nothing that he'd almost forgot how –

Well, how good the kind of magic that was placed on Arthur felt. It was clean and innocent and Merlin couldn't help but wonder what kind of anti-villainous sorcerer (sorcerers?) cast the spell on the king.

He sighed his head falling to rest on his chest.

He had no answer, and until he did he couldn't return to Gwen.

* * *

 

Merlin thinks that perhaps Arthur was right, he was an idiot. An idiot because it hadn't occurred to him in the first place, really it was far too simple.

He stood pulling the key from where he had hidden it so that if he was taken from the cell, that there was no hint that Gwen had even been here. He paused as a wave of dizziness passed over him and waited it out. Finally he was able to see straight and he started to walk, He was sweeping through the metal doorway before he even thought about it.

Which he supposed was why he almost bumped into Gwaine.

"Merlin!"

Merlin shook his head and Gwaine was quiet then and for one terrible second Merlin feared that Gwaine too hated him and was going to turn him into the guards, but then Gwaine smiled wearily and Merlin knew that even if things had changed Gwaine would never turn him in.

"Should I even ask?"

Merlin shook his head.

"Very well, I was on my way to see you actually. But – perhaps we should go."

Merlin finally seemed to realize what he hadn't in the mad dash to get back to Gwen and Arthur and subsequent meeting with Gwaine – they were standing in the middle of a torch lit hallway. Merlin for the second time in less than an hour felt like a complete imbecile.

Merlin nodded and then was slipping back into the shadows Gwaine behind him. They moved quickly through the hallways and up the stairs, stopping outside the door – where there were thankfully no guards – to Arthur and Gwen's chambers were Merlin glanced back at a nervous looking Gwaine.

"Merlin – what are you – "

"Helping."

"You didn't do this?"

Merlin isn't mad or hurt at the accusation, he finds that surprising, he merely shakes his head.

"No."

Gwaine looked down then and nodded, Merlin could see him itching to ask – something, but Merlin didn't have the time right now, he had to talk to Gwen, more importantly he had to get her permission to leave.

He opened the door and Gwaine followed him in.

Gwen was much as he left her earlier, sitting next to Arthur his hand in hers. She was whispering in his ear again and Merlin cleared his throat. She looked up then and rushed across the room at him pushing him down into a chair.

"Merlin, you look like death himself, honestly I think you look worse than some of the – "

"It doen't matter, Gwen I need – "

"Of course it matters! You avoided telling me what exactly they did to you earlier, Merlin, but now – "

Gwen was trying to pull his shirt over his head and Merlin glared at a half concerned half amused looking Gwaine who was leaning against the door, the man clearly wasn't going to help.

"Gwen! Gwen, stop!"

Gwen glared at him but none the less stopped and stood in front of him with a look that Merlin remembered his mother wearing when he was younger and she knew he was trying to avoid doing chores.

"I will stop, only if you tell me if you are hurt."

"I'm fine Gwen, really."

"Please, Merlin, I don't want to worry about you too."

Something about that statement made him sigh and nod before speaking softly. 

"Gwen, it's - it's the cell it's sucking me dry. But it's okay because i won't be there much longer, now about Arthur, Gwen I think – I need to leave."

"What?"

"WHAT!"

Merlin sighed and swept his eyes from Gwen to Gwaine before standing and beginning to pace from one side of the room to the other.

"I think I can follow the aura of the sorcerer that cast this spell, but I have to leave to do so. I'm requesting you permission M'lady to leave Camelot to search for the person who cast this spell and to bring them back to end it."

Gwen stared at him and Gwaine pushed himself off of the door.

"You said aura explain."

Merlin didn't stop pacing.

"Every living thing has an aura. A signature. It's the outside manifestation of a person's soul, but when a person has magic, well the aura is a bit different. On a normal person the aura does nothing, it's there, but it doesn't actually do anything."

Merlin ran his hands through his hair.

"This part is a bit hard for me to explain because I never had to actually learn it. But when a person starts to learn magic – one of the first things they learn is how to manipulate their aura, you see everyone has the potential to be able to do magic to a varying degree, although not everyone should. They have the potential because they have an aura; an aura is in a sense magical."

Merlin turned towards them then to gauge their reactions, Gwen looked the least shocked of the two and Merlin found that strange but didn't pursue it and instead resumed his pacing.

"You haven't explained how you could trace it."

"When someone casts a spell, it's in essence their aura actually doing the work, but because the old religion is about balance – well, you leave part of your aura behind with the magic, which is why after casting a spell that is too powerful a sorcerer will be exhausted because their aura is in shambles and has to repair itself."

"..So your, plan is to follow the little bit right back to the sorcerer."

"'s a good plan."

"It's a terrible plan! If the sorcerer is hostile, you'll be walking right in like – some kind of – "

"That is why he won't be going alone."

Merlin spun around a tentative smile on his lips.

"You'll go with him?"

Gwaine nodded.

"Very well, what will we tell everyone else; Merlin's absence will be noticed."

"Say you're taking me to Lot, it's not terribly farfetched, I'm not from Camelot after all, I didn't grow up here, and I certainly wasn't born here."

Gwen nodded.

"Very well."

Gwaine strode forward then and clapped him on the back, grinning and laughing.

"Let's do this Merlin; it'll be like old times. A Knightly quest!"

And despite himself – rather it be the absurdity of the statement because the times weren't old, they were barely a few weeks old. Or the fact that Gwaine didn't hate him, was still his friend – Merlin finds himself grinning and laughing for the first time since this all began.


	8. VIII: The Mark of Nimueh

Arthur found himself standing next to a corpse in the streets of Camelot as Gaius knelt over the man while Merlin stood off to the side looking vaguely disturbed. He sighed he could already tell he wouldn't like where this was going.

Gaius worked steadily and Merlin took a tentative step forward. Honestly for this powerful sorcerer he was far too squeamish. Didn't sorcerers work with dead things and potions and all the dead things that you put into potions?

"Aren't you scared?"

"Of what?"

"That you might catch whatever it is."

Gaius snorted.

"I'm the court physician, Merlin. This is part of my job. Most of the time there's nothing really to be scared of."

Gaius flipped the man over and Arthur's heart sunk. The dead man stared up at them through dead white eyes and Merlin took a step back. Arthur didn't blame him, the corpse was disturbing, and it was more disturbing because he remembered this.

"You were saying?"

"People mustn't see this. They'll panic."

Merlin nodded and was quick to find a sheet and cover the poor unfortunate man. The scene changed and Arthur now found himself in Gaius's chambers where Gaius was examining the man with a magnifying glass. Or at least he thought it was a magnifying glass. He really wasn't sure what it was.

"I've never seen anything like this before."

"Do you think it could be some kind of plague?"

"No. I fear that something like this could never come from nature. But who has this kind of power?"

"You think it's caused by magic?"

There was silence then, a silence that was interrupted by his own voice.

"Merlin!"

Merlin and Gaius shared a look then and Merlin hurried to the door, only for it to swing open in his face, his younger self looked – he looked annoyed and glancing at the sunlight coming through the window Arthur could guess at what.

He laughed because if his younger self thought this was bad – well, wait till he saw the stunts that Merlin would –

Arthur stopped himself there. Because once he got out of this spell nothing would be different.

"Erm...I'm on my way. Sorry I'm late."

His younger self sighed, before speaking, his tone dry, "Don't worry. I'm getting used to it." Then his eyes found the flower at Merlin's neck and he raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, er...Gwen, she gave it to me."

"Tell Gaius my father wants to see him now."

"Okay."

The door swung shut and Merlin spun on his heel, his feet already leading him back to the table where the man lay and where Gaius was.

"Gaius…"

"I heard."

Merlin's brow furrowed.

"Wait, why couldn't he just tell you himself?"

"Because that's the way it is. You're a servant."

"Wha...if he knew who I was, what I've done..."

Gaius sighed then.

"You'd be a dead servant. Right, get this covered up."

"Hey, I'm not your servant!"

Arthur snorted.

"No, you're my dogsbody. Come on, hurry up."

Merlin sighed and threw a sheet over the man before following an already retreating Gaius out of the door, and when the scene didn't dissolve Arthur followed behind, he sighed at the sight that awaited him. Knowing that everything turned out alright didn't dissolve the horror at seeing the corpse nor did it change anything.

"What's happened to him?"

Gaius knelt next to the man and held his forefingers to the man's pulse point before pulling back with a disappointed sigh.

"I don't know, Sire. It's the second case I've seen today. "

His father looked irritated at that.

"Why didn't you report it to me?"

"I was attempting to find the cause."

"What did you conclude?"

"I don't think it's time to hurry to conclusions. The scientific process is a long one. "

His father snorted dismissively at that and turned away from the man pacing the length of the room before rounding back to Gaius, who was still knelt next to the man. His father cleared his throat and spoke.

"What are you concealing from me?"

Gaius sighed, pushing himself to his feet.

"Sire, I have seen nothing like it. The victims are dying in 24 hours, and its spreading fast. "

His father nodded.

"What is the cause?"

Gaius sighed again.

"I think you should say that the cause, the most likely cause, is sorcery."

And just like every time sorcery was mentioned his father's face lit up like a candle with fury. Arthur sighed.

"We must find who did this."

His younger self nodded.

"I will, father."

The king strode towards him then and bent so that his younger self would be the only one to hear his words. It didn't matter; Arthur remembered them just as well.

"Conduct door to door searches. Increase your presence in the town. Double the guards on all the gates. And lend the physician your servant."

His younger self looked confused at that.

"Merlin? But..."

"I'm going to need Gaius to find a cure. He needs all the help we can give him. If Gaius is right, believe me, this city will be wiped out. This is the kind of magic that undermines our authority, challenges all we've done. If we cannot control this plague, people will turn to magic for a cure. We have to find this sorcerer, and quickly."

Finally after a long moment his younger self nodded just like he remembered doing.

"Yes, father."

The scene changed. They were back in Gaius's chambers now, Merlin was leaned against a table as Gaius carried a flask with a – questionable substance, he wasn't really sure what it was, from the examining table to a lighted candle.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm examining the contents of that man's stomach."

Yes, he was quite glad he was off conducting searches then instead of stuck here with Gaius.

"Will that tell you who did it?"

Gaius shook his head.

"No, but it might tell us how it's spread. One thing I do know, this is magic of the darkest kind."

Merlin looked confused at that.

"Why would someone use magic like that?"

Gaius didn't look up though when he did speak his voice was harsh, probably harsher then he intended, Arthur concluded.

"Magic corrupts. People use it for their own ends."

Merlin looked worried then and he shook his head fast, and Arthur sighed because he could see in his mental eye only to clearly Merlin with a wound on his shoulder from Arthur's own mace, questioning if he was a monster.

"But not all magic is bad. I know it isn't."

Gaius looked up then catching Merlin's eye.

"It's neither good nor bad. It's how you use it."

And then the door burst open startling both Gaius and Merlin. His younger self strode in followed by several guards who began to leaf through Gaius's papers and books.

"Sorry Gaius, we're searching every room in town."

"What for?"

"A sorcerer."

Arthur wondered why he didn't notice back then the way that Gaius almost subconsciously stepped in front of Merlin.

"But why would he be here?"

"I'm just doing my job."

"We've nothing to hide. Go on then, search."

Arthur nodded as his eyes swept around the room.

"All these books and papers?"

"My life's work, dedicated to the understanding of science. You are quite welcome to read through them if you wish."

His younger self looked, well – he looked as disinterested at such a thought as Merlin looked when we was trying to explain to him how he was supposed to act. Gaius certainly was clever. He'd give him that. Still –

"What's this room up here?"

"Er, it's mine."

Gaius stepped in front of Merlin again then, shielding the young man almost completely from view. "And what do you expect to find in there?"

His younger self didn't even seem to notice instead he strode across the room, up the stairs, and into the tiny store room that had been converted to Merlin's bedroom.

"What've you done with the magic book I gave you?"

Arthur groaned as the scene changed because he could see how close he had probably come to discovering Merlin because he couldn't keep his bedroom neat and things that needed to be hidden hidden. The scene reappeared as the door fell shut and Gaius looked at a – at a Merlin that didn't look as concerned as he probably should. (1)

"We have to hide that book."

Merlin shook his head a small excited smile lighting up his face and Arthur groaned already seeing where this was headed, because in all the years he had known Merlin he had always known Merlin wasn't one for sitting around and doing nothing.

"No. We must use it. "

Gaius scoffed like a reasonable person would. But he could already see Merlin wasn't going to give up easily. Stubborn, idiotic, fool he was.

"Don't be stupid."

"If I have this-this legacy then what is it for? You keep telling me it's not for playing tricks."

"You want to practice magic when the King is hunting for sorcerers? Are you mad? Merlin, your life is destined for more important things."

"But if I don't practice, then how will I get to be this great warlock?!"

Gaius looked at Merlin with something that could only be described as pity and Arthur was reminded of Hunith writing a letter to someone in Camelot, struggling with the idea that she would have to tell her child that he had to hide for the rest of his life.

"What should I do Anette? How do I raise a child telling him that he has to hide what he is without making it seem like it's something to be ashamed of? How do I look him in the eye and tell him he has to hide who he is until the day he dies?"

"There will come a time when your skills will be recognized."

Merlin looked outraged at that.

"When?! How long do I have to wait?"

"Patience is a virtue, Merlin."

"Sitting by and doing nothing, that's a virtue?"

Gaius laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder then and the younger man flinched.

"Your time will come."

"I could cure that man we saw."

"I know it's tempting to use the way you find easiest, Merlin..."

"It is when it would save a life."

Arthur sighed. Was this the kind of decision every sorcerer was faced with? The good and the bad? Do I use the powers I have, or do I sit back because I know that if I'm discovered that by the laws of the land – no matter where I live – I will be killed?

"It's no good just saving one person. We have to discover how this illness is spreading."

"Arthur is out there right now looking for the sorcerer!"

Gaius sighed then, looking old and weary and he wondered if he already had an inkling of who could cast such a spell.

"A sorcerer who's powerful enough to do this will never be found searching the town."

Merlin looked stricken at that.

"So what can we do? "

"Hope that science can find the answer before it kills us all."

The scene changed. Another body was on the table this time a young woman dressed in silk, woven gold around her neck. A courtier then. Gaius stood next to the table a perplexed and grave look on his face while Merlin stood beside him nervously wringing his hands.

"What's different about this victim?"

"Er…she's a woman."

Arthur slapped his hand over his face because really that was – really one of the stupidest things Merlin had ever said. Gaius apparently shared his opinion; he looked equally as unimpressed as Arthur himself felt at Merlin's rather – dim proclamation.

"Sometimes I do wonder whether your magical talents were given to the right person. Anything else."

"Erm…she's a courtier."

Gaius nodded then.

"Ah."

"How does that help us?"

"Courtiers seldom go down to the lower town. So what does that mean?"

"Erm….that – that she hasn't spoken to any townspeople?"

Gaius looked pained.

"Yes, it suggests that the disease is not spread by contact."

"Oh, and they probably ate different food."

"Good, anything else?"

"Erm…I doubt they breathe the same air."

Arthur snorted.

"So what's the only thing they do share?"

"Water. Water? You think the disease is spread through water?"

Gaius sighed his eyes rolling back into his head for a moment before he nodded – his next remark making Arthur snort in laughter as he handed Merlin a bucket.

"Merlin, you're a prodigy."

The scene changed as all humor faded from Arthur's face at the sight that was before him. He only remembered that he couldn't touch the people in these memories when his hand passed through his distraught queen's shoulder.

"You have the sickness?"

Gwen shakes her head.

"My father! Please, Gaius, he's all I have."

"Gwen, I-I have no cure."

"I am begging you!"

"I wish there was something, anything, but so far the remedy is beyond what I can achieve."

Gaius took her other hand in his.

"I'm sorry Gwen."

She shakes her head tears falling from her dark eyes and staining her cheeks; she shook herself out of Gaius's hold, turned, and ran. Gaius sighed and Merlin stepped forward. He almost followed Gwen but he remembered his Queen was safe at home – this wasn't her tale, this was Merlin's.

"There must be something we can do!"

Gaius took the water from Merlin.

"My best. Let's hope that this can provide some answers."

"But that'll be too late for Gwen's father!"

"I fear you may be right."

Merlin looked outraged and Arthur's stomach sunk. The scene changed. Merlin as Merlin ducked into Morgana's old chambers as Gwen collected cloths while humming.

"How's your father? Is he feeling better?"

"Yeah, it's incredible. It's a miracle."

"His skin's clear, back to normal?"

"Yes."

Merlin grinned.

"Great!"

Gwen looked perplexed.

"No, no, I am, It's a miracle."

"But how did you know he was well?"

"Er, because you're smiling."

"That really weird because I haven't told anyone, but you know. How could you know?"

"Yeah, alright, you finally found out, I'll tell you. I'm psychic."

Gwen giggled.

"No you're not."

"It's true."

"Alright what am I thinking?"

"That I'm not psychic."

The scene changed as Arthur's foreboding grew. He sighed when he saw Gaius's outraged face, so his Queen had been arrested already then, by her future king no less, he sighed as he took in Merlin's shocked face, he had to remind himself that despite this things did turn out okay.

"What have you done?!"

"What?"

"I warned you! Oh, I understand. You thought you were doing good."

"I couldn't let her father die knowing I could cure him!"

"Didn't you think it might look a bit suspicious, the curing of one man?"

"Well then, all I have to do is...I'll cure everyone! No one will ever have to know it was magic."

"It's too late they think Gwen's a sorceress! They think she caused the disease!"

"But she didn't!"

Merlin turned and rushed towards the door.

"Oh, and how are you going to prove that?!"

Merlin stopped for a moment before he was gone. The scene changed. He was back in Gaius's chambers where a red eyed Merlin sat at a table across from Gaius. Both men looked understandably sorrow and Arthur sighed.

"I thought I was doing good, that curing Gwen's father would help her. I thought I was saving a life. It seemed so simple…"

Merlin hung his head.

"An easy solution is like a light in a storm, Merlin. Rush for it at your peril, for it may not always lead you to a safe harbor."

Merlin sighed.

"I can see that now."

"How many times have I warned you about the responsibilities of being a warlock?"

Merlin sighed his eyes not leaving the tabletop as he stood.

"I must see her."

Arthur followed Merlin down to the dungeons where the guards had placed his queen passing a sobbing Morgana on the way, Arthur had to remind himself that the sobbing woman would become a monster to get himself not to stop and try and do something despite knowing that it would be useless.

Merlin stopped outside the door to the cell and swallowed his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed. He cleared his throat once and then spoke.

"Gwen."

His queen rushed forward then.

"Thank you."

Merlin swallowed.

"What for?"

"For coming to see me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Well…"

"It's alright. Don't worry about me. There's no point crying about it. I mean…I mean, I'm not saying that you were going to cry about me. Obviously I don't think that."

Merlin looked down.

"Oh Gwen. I can't have this happen."

"Please, one thing. You – you don't have to, but…"

"What?"

"Remember me."

Merlin swallowed.

"You're not going to die. I'm not going to let this happen."

And in that moment Arthur saw a decision made and he – he couldn't help but feel grateful to Merlin for trying. The scene changed. Arthur found himself back in Gaius's chambers as a scared and annoyed looking Gaius led Merlin back in.

"Arthur's the idiot."

Gaius sighed.

"No. He was right to do what he did, and, thankfully, he saved you from your own stupidity."

Merlin threw his hands up in the air.

"What else could I do? It's my fault Gwen's going to die!"

"Yes, but you don't prove her innocence by offering to jump into the flames. Yo do it by finding out what's causing the disease!"

"Well whatever it is, one thing's for sure: Arthur isn't going to find it. He thinks he is so sharp! But even when I told him I was a sorcerer, he still couldn't see it!"

"Sometimes they're pretty hard to spot."

"Well, maybe I should go around wearing a pointy hat."

Arthur snorted.

"I don't think you'll find one big enough anyway, forget that. If we're goingto save Gwen, we have to find out what's contaminating the water."

Arthur sighed as the scene changed as a severely shaken up Merlin and a grave Gaius poured over a book.

"Here. It was an Afanc."

"A…a what?"

"A beast born of clay, and conjured up only by the most powerful sorcerer. Now we have to find a way to defeat it. But where?"

They both turned to a shelf full of books. Merlin groaned.

"That could take days. Gwen'll be dead by then!"

"Have you got a better idea?"

Arthur sighed as the scene changed because he had a feeling where Merlin would find out. At least he wasn't shocked when the giant head of the Great Dragon popped up in front of Merlin who at this point didn't even looked shocked.

"I need to know how to defeat an afanc."

"Yes, I suppose you do."

"Will you help me?"

"Trust the elements that are at your command."

Merlin looked puzzled.

"Elements? But what is it I have to do?"

"You cannot do this alone. You are but one side of a coin. Arthur is the other."

Arthur sighed clearly the dragon was no help, not that he was expecting it to be.

"I-I don't understand. Just tell me what it is I have to do."

Arthur sighed as the scene changed to the interior of Gaius's chambers where Merlin was hopelessly looking through the shelves of books.

"Merlin, what are you doing?"

"Looking for a book."

"You going to tell me which one?"

"A book of elements."

Gaius looked perplexed.

"Elements?"

"Yes. Which one would I find them in?"

"Well, most of them. The study of base elements is at the very heart of the scientific process."

Merlin sighed.

"But how would they help me kill the Afanc?"

"Well, the Afanc is a creature made from earth and water. That's two of the four base elements."

"What about the other two?"

Gaius was quiet for a moment before his eyes widened and a slow grin began to creap onto his face as he turned back towards Merlin his eyes dancing in excitement.

"Well, perhaps they will destroy it. You want fire. Wind and fire. How did you find this out?"

"Erm...I just knew, you know? One of my powers."

Gaius looked doubtful.

"What else do your powers tell you?"

"That I am only one side of a coin. The brighter side, obviously."

Arthur snorted.

"And who's the other side?"

"I think that might be Arthur."

Gaius seemed to be about to say something but he was interrupted as the door swung open with a bang as a red rimmed eyed Morgana came sweeping in a cloak of rich blue velvet around her shoulders. He had almost forgotten this side of the witch. The one that cared.

"They're bringing forward the execution. We have to prove Gwen's innocence."

Gaius looked up.

"We're trying."

Morgana stepped forward then her face crumpling.

"Please, just tell me what I can do to help."

"We need Arthur."

She looked perplexed.

"Arthur?"

"There's a monster, an Afanc, in the water supply. That's what's causing the plague."

"Well, we must tell Uther."

Gaius shook his head.

"The Afanc's a creature forged by magic. Telling Uther wouldn't save Gwen. He'd just blame her for conjuring it."

"So what are we to do?"

"We need to destroy it. Then the plague will stop and Uther may see sense."

She nodded understanding filling her green eyes.

"And that's why you need Arthur."

"He's our best chance. But he won't want to disobey the King."

Morgana nodded then.

"Leave that to me."

The scene changed into one that Arthur remembered. He followed behind himself, Morgana and Merlin as they made their way down through the dank tunnel that led to the kingdoms main water supply. He sighed as the witch smirked at his younger self.

"Scared I'll show you up?"

"Father will slam us both in chains if he knew I'd endangered you."

Morgana merely scoffed.

"Well good thing he doesn't know about it then."

His younger self stepped closer to her then, his hand landing on her shoulder.

"I'm telling you, Morgana, turn back. You could get hurt."

She smiled then, a tender look that he remembers only seeing rarely flashing across her face. Was this the woman that would enslave the people of Camelot? Was this the woman that was so full of magic that it had corrupted her?

Because right now, looking at her, he couldn't see it.

"You could too – " then as if to cover for herself " – if you don't get out of my way."

"How are we going to find it?"

There was a distant growl and Merlin shifted closer to the other two who looked just as shaken by the sound. "I just hope we do before it finds us." They reached the water source relatively quickly and his younger self was quick to take charge.

"Spread out."

They split up then only to rush back together at Morgana's scream, the beast was in front of her, his younger self made a swipe for it, but just as fast as it had come it disappeared back into the long shadows.

"Where is it?"

"I think it's gone that way."

They nodded and Arthur followed them again stopping to stand behind Merlin. The beast came into full view then, all black and grotesque and dripping, just as he remembered, his younger self took a swing at it but the beast merely swept the sword from his hands along with Morgana's torch.

The beast growled then and advanced on his younger self, he remembered the smell of the putred breath and he remembers the feeling of wrongness that seemed to carpet the creature. He remembered being terrified and having no clue what to do until – "

"Arthur, use the torch!"

His younger self swung the torch as the beast cowered and from his spot behind Merlin he heard the spell that ended the beast's life along with the disillusion that this had only been his victory. No, it had been all of theirs; he wondered why he had never seen that. He wondered why he had never heard Merlin.

"Lyfte ic þe in balwen ac forhienan."

The beast was covered in flames and just like that it was over. The scene changed. He found himself in Gaius's chambers as Merlin and Gaius sat at the table eating – well he wasn't sure what they were eating exactly.

"This fish didn't come from the water, did it?"

Gaius sighed then, his brow furrowing.

"Well, where else is it going to come from? The water's fine now. That's not your worry. This is the work of a very powerful sorcerer. I only hope you didn't come to her attention."

"Doubt it. Well no one else seems to appreciate my skills. I just want someone to see me for who I am."

Gaius sighed then.

"One day, Merlin. One day."

Merlin looked perplexed.

"One day what?"

Gaius smiled, humor lighting up his eyes.

"One day people won't believe what an idiot you were."

Merlin's reply was dry.

"Thanks."

Arthur's laughter still hadn't faded as the scene changed.


	9. IX:The Poisoned Chalice

Arthur winced as the afternoon light nearly blinded him; he squinted and then growled when he caught sight of the woman that was hurriedly picking up what appeared to be bed linens.

"Hi. I'm Merlin."

The woman smiled and took the hand that was offered to her.

"Cara. You're Arthur's servant. That must be such an honor."

"Oh, yeah. It is. Well, you know someone's got to keep the place running."

Arthur snorted and stepped back next to Gaius who was watching the whole – altercation with a firm scowl; it was something Arthur could agree with.

"Thank you, Merlin."

Merlin looked confused until the woman laid a hand on top of the stack of linens. She smiled and finally Merlin seemed to get it, and nodded, a blush that made Arthur embarrassed for him staining the man's pale cheeks.

"Oh, right. Yeah. Er, no problem."

She smiled and turned, calling her partings back over her shoulder.

"It was nice meeting you."

Merlin looked dazed and Arthur sighed, shaking his head.

"Shouldn't you be busy running the place?"

Arthur laughed.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in his chambers as Merlin reeled backwards from a stack of clothes fanning his face, the dark haired man coughed and turned to his younger self with a look of disgust.

"When's the last time these were cleaned?"

"Last year some time. Before the Feast of Beltane."

Merlin frowned; he cautiously picked up the jacket before setting it back down.

"Did it end in a food fight?"

His younger self smirked.

"Don't all feasts?"

"I wouldn't know. The airs and graces of the court are a mystery to me."

"Not after tonight they won't be."

Merlin smiled then.

"I'm going to be at the banquet?"

"Not quite. You'll be there to make sure my cup doesn't run dry. If I have to sit through Bayard's boring speeches, I don't see why you should get out of it. Be sure to polish the buttons. Do you want to see what you'll be wearing tonight?"

Arthur's heart sunk.

Merlin frowned and pulled at his jacket and plain blue shirt.

"Won't this do?"

"No. Tonight you'll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of Camelot."

Arthur couldn't bring himself to laugh at the look on Merlin's face when he knew what was to happen at the feast. He should have known. Oblivious to the King, his younger self smirked and Merlin looked disgusted for the second time in less than five minutes.

"You can't be serious."

The scene changed.

They were in the banquet hall now and Arthur found himself standing between Gwen – who appeared to be only barely restraining her laughter – and Merlin.

"Nice hat."

She giggled and Merlin scowled and ripped the hat from his head. Merlin's head swiveled until he was staring at 'Cara' and Gwen smiled at Merlin.

"She's pretty isn't she? For a handmaiden, I mean?"

Merlin once again looked dazed.

"She's pretty for a princess, let alone a handmaiden."

Gwen hummed and turned away from him then as the crowd applauded and Bayard stepped forward, a merry grin on his face.

"People of Camelot, for a great many years we have been mortal enemies, and the blood of our men stains the ground from the walls of Camelot to the gates of Mercia. And though we remember those who have died, we must not allow any more to join them."

"As a symbol of our goodwill, and of our newfound friendship, I present these ceremonial goblets to you, Uther, and to your son, Arthur, in the hope that our friendship may last."

He closed his eyes then, he didn't need to see to know what happened next, except he did because the moment he heard 'Cara's voice alight with what he knew must be fake concern he knew there were things he had missed the first time around.

And wasn't that becoming a trend?

He followed behind the two, leaving Bayard droning on in the background.

"Tonight we toast a new beginning for our peoples. We look towards a future free from the toils of war…."

The two figures ducked into a corner of the empty and darkened corridors, 'Cara' looked properly distressed but unlike the concerned Merlin, he knew it was a farce, he knew what was going to happen, he knew and he couldn't change anything.

He wasn't used to being powerless.

"It wasn't until I saw him give the goblet to Arthur that I realized..."

Merlin frowned.

"Whoa, slow down. Start from the beginning."

"Two days ago, I was bringing Bayard his evening meal. We're supposed to knock. He didn't expect me to walk in..."

"So what are you trying to say?"

"If he knows I said anything, he will kill me."

Merlin lay a hand on her shoulder.

"I would not let that happen to you, I promise. Please tell me what you saw."

"Bayard is no friend of Camelot. He craves the kingdom for himself. "

"Cara...Tell me. What has Bayard done with the goblet?"

"He believes that if he kills Arthur, Uther's spirit will be broken and Camelot will fall."

"What has he done with the goblet?"

Cara looked properly distressed here.

"I saw him putting something in it."

"What?"

"I shouldn't! He'll kill me!"

"Please, tell me! Was it poison?"

The woman nodded and Merlin who, having fallen for it, turned and dashed away, the last thing he saw before the scene changed was the smirk on 'Cara's' lips. His stomach dropped. He closed his eyes quickly. He didn't want to see this. But then he opened them just as quickly. But see it he would.

His father grinned.

"And to fallen warriors on both sides."

They all – including his younger self – raised their glasses in a toast and just as the tainted liquid would have gone down his own throat the doors burst open. He remembered being annoyed that Merlin would be so idiotic as to interrupt such an event like this.

He wanted to close his eyes now.

"Stop! It's poisoned, don't drink it!"

He ran up to his younger self then and grabbed the goblet taking it into his hands and pulling it far away from his younger self.

"What?"

"Merlin, what are you doing?"

"Bayard laced Arthur's goblet with poison!"

"This is an outrage!"

The sound of swords being drawn briefly deafened him.

"Order you men to put down their swords, you're outnumbered."

"I will not allow this insult to go unchallenged!"

His father turned towards Merlin then.

"On what grounds do you base this accusation?"

His younger self sighed, self sufferingly and stepped forward with a confident air. Arthur really just wanted to punch him, and wondered why it was only now that he recognized the sound of the thousands of bells he should have heard that screamed danger. And then, protect.

"I'll handle this." His younger self smiled and grabbed the goblet from Merlin's hand. "Merlin, you idiot. Have we been at the slow gin again?" His father taking no note of his younger self's attempt's to diffuse the situation stepped forward and towards Merlin with a threatening air.

"Unless you want to be strung up, you will tell me why you think it's poisoned."

Merlin swallowed.

"He was seen lacing it."

"By whom?"

"I can't say."

Bayard scoffed.

"I won't listen to this anymore."

"Pass me the goblet."

"If you're telling the truth…"

"I am."

"Then you have nothing to fear, do you?"

Bayard sheathed his sword and reached for the goblet but his father tutted and held it out of his reach. "No, if it does prove to be poisoned, I want the pleasure of killing you myself."

His father forced the goblet at Merlin.

"He'll drink it."

Arthur couldn't hear through the roar in his ears. He'd thought Merlin was nothing but an idiot who was out to cause trouble, he hadn't believed and then – he didn't want to see Merlin crumple to the floor, he didn't want to see the look in Gaius's eyes, didn't want to see his darling Guinevere's fear filled eyes.

He didn't want to remember how it felt to know that Merlin was dying. But if there was a reason he was seeing this, if there was a reason he was being shown all these things – then he had to see it, he knew things turned out all right, still that moment when –

He watched Merlin fall, down, down, down.

\- He thought Merlin was already dead, was impossible to describe. He closed his eyes and the scene changed.

He found himself in Gaius's chambers once again as his younger self almost gently lay a pale Merlin down on the spare bed. "– He's struggling to breathe, Gwen, fetch me some water and a towel." The chambers were in chaos and in the middle of it was his younger self looking guilty and just a tad lost.

"Is he going to be alright?"

His younger self was ignored and he remembered being confused, and at the time, though he would never admit it, terrified.

"He's burning up!"

"You can cure him, can't you Gaius?"

Gaius looked sad, and old, and every bit as terrified as his younger self felt.

"I won't know until I can identify the poison. Pass me the goblet."

Gaius looked it over, spinning it around and around until the glinting jewels became dizzying, he sighed when Gaius finally found what he was looking for and pulled it out with a pair of tweezers – or what he thought were tweezers.

"Ah. There is something stuck on the inside."

"What is it?"

"It looks like a flower petal of some kind."

Guinevere's voice was a background roar.

"His brow's on fire."

"Keep him cool; it'll help control his fever."

Gaius franticly flipped through a book of what Arthur thought were herbs until finally he let out a sound of triumph and began to read.

Ah. The petal comes from the Mortaeus flower. It says here that someone poisoned by the Mortaeus can only be saved by a potion made from the leaf of the very same flower. It can only be found in the caves deep beneath the Forest of Balor. The flower grows on the roots of the Mortaeus tree. A Cockatrice guards the forest. Its venom is potent. A single drop would mean certain death. Few who have crossed the Mountains of Isgaard in search of the Mortaeus flower have made it back alive."

His younger self swallowed.

"Sounds like fun."

Gaius looked up alarmed.

"Arthur, it's too dangerous."

He remembers appreciating the sentiment but –

"If I don't get the antidote, what happens to Merlin?"

–The man who just saved him – his life was more important.

Gaius sighed then.

"The Mortaeus induces a slow and painful death . He may hold out for four, maybe five days, but not for much longer. Eventually he will die."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in his own chambers, standing over the fire as Morgana entered. He had forgotten this.

"Say what you like about the food, but you can't beat our feast for entertainment."

"Morgana – "

He looked up then.

"– I'm sorry, I should have made sure you were alright."

"I'm disappointed actually. I was looking forward to clumping a couple around the head with a ladle."

Despite themselves, both Arthur's snorted.

"I'm sure the guards could have handled Bayard and his men."

"Yeah, but why let the boys have all the fun?"

"Morgana, you shouldn't get involved. It's dangerous."

She snorted then and he remembered who he was looking at, what this woman would become, but he couldn't bring himself to hate her because in this moment she had been just what he had needed, she had been the push that spurred him into action.

He wondered what happened to her to twist her so spectacularly. Was it really magic? Was that all it was?

"Spare me the lecture; I've already had it from Uthur."

"If it's any consolation, you weren't the only one."

She smiled then, all dark hair and green eyes.

"Not that I listen to him. Sometimes you've got to do what you think is right, and damn the consequences."

His younger self looked at her then.

"You think I should go?"

"It doesn't matter what I think."

But all the same he had known, he did know, that she had wanted him to go and save Merlin in that moment.

"If I don't make it back, who will be the next king of Camelot? There's more than just my life at stake."

"And what kind of king would Camelot want? One that would risk his life to save that of a lowly servant?" She drew his sword then, the metal glinting in the firelight. "Or one who does what his father tells him to?" She curtsied and handed it to him.

The scene changed.

His Guinevere sat next to a fevered Merlin her hand on his forehead. A frown marred her lips and she turned to Gaius.

"He's getting hotter."

Merlin turned his head into her palm.

"Him, Liffrea, wuldres, wealdend, woroldare forgeaf."

He was muttering spells! The idiot.

"What language is that?"

Gaius looked concerned and frowned as he picked up the boys wrist.

"None, the fever's taken hold. None of those wards are his own. His pulse is weaker."

Arthur noticed the rash on Merlin's arm just as Guinevere did, she reached down to touch it but Gaius snatched her hand back and raised the arm so he could stare at it up close. She frowned and looked down at Merlin.

"What is it?"

But Gaius wasn't paying attention he was now franticly flipping through a book.

"That can't be right. The rash isn't supposed to appear until the final stage," then "It says here that once a rash appears, death will follow within two days."

Gwen looked up sharply and he could see the fear in her eyes.

"You said he had four days."

"Something increased the flowers potency. It warns that the effects of the Mortaeus will be more rapid in an enchantment is used during the flowers preparation."

She frowned.

"An enchantment? But Bayard's no sorcerer."

Gaius nodded.

"No he isn't…..it can't have been. She wouldn't dare come here. Unless…."

"Unless what?"

"What happened to that girl?"

"Which girl?"

"Just before Merlin burst into the hall one of Bayard's serving girls took him outside."

Gwen nodded then.

"She had dark hair. Very beautiful."

"Find her. Quickly."

Oblivious to everything, Merlin rolled over still muttering.

"Arthur….swa…."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself at Merlin's bedside some time had passed and now Gaius sat in Gwen's place, his hand on Merlin's arm, turning the angry red arm this way and that. Merlin stirred but just as quickly fell back under.

He looked up as his Guinevere entered a troubled frown on her face.

"Let me guess, she wasn't there."

"No one has seen her since the banquet. Who is she?"

"Not who she claims to me."

"But you know, don't you?"

"Cara. Though, that's not her name, not her real name, anyway."

"Then who is she?"

"A powerful sorceress."

"Well, we should tell Uther. Maybe he could send riders out after her."

"No, she'll be long gone. It's impossible to know where, though…" then, "Oh no…."

Gwen looked concerned then.

"What?"

"She knows the only place an antidote can be found is in the Forest of Balor. Arthur could be walking into a trap."

Merlin's fevered mutterings then, were the only sound.

"Arthur….Arthur…."

It was night now both Gaius and Guinevere sat at Merlin's side, both holding a hand. Arthur was having a hard time thinking of his mantra of 'it all ends okay' when Merlin was whimpering like a new born animal that had been abandoned.

Merlin twitched in his sleep, his throat working.

"Arthur, it….it's a trap. It's a trap…."

Guinevere looked over at Gaius, her thumb stroking the skin of Merlin's hand.

"His fever's getting worse, isn't it?"

Gaius sighed, old and weary.

"The poison's setting in."

"eft gewunigen wilgesiþas, þonne wig cume."

Gaius hushed him and then turned to Guinevere.

"Could you fetch me some more Wolfbane?"

Guinevere nodded and hastily stood.

"Yes, of course."

She left then and the few candles keeping the room a light flickered casting shadows on both Merlin and Gaius. Gaius who was gripping Merlin's hand tightly and was staring down at the young man's face with a kind of aged sadness.

"Merlin, you must fight it."

The scene changed, not much time had passed because Gaius was still alone, but in the short time Merlin had become even more restless.

"Arthur. It's too dark. To dark. Fromum feohgiftum on faeder bearme. Fromum feohgiftum."

Then something glowed and Gaius lifted the sheets folding them back to reveal a glowing ball of blue light tucked neatly in Merlin's hand. A very familiar blue light and Arthur choked because, fuck, he knew that light.

That light had saved him.

"Merlin, what are you doing?"

Merlin didn't answer; instead he began to twist, as if to fight off an enemy, but in reality only managed to get himself tangled.

"Leave them, Arthur…"

And then.

"Go. Save yourself. Follow the light. Go faster. Follow the light! Move, climb! "

Finally Merlin stilled, the ball of light disappearing the same time he knew it must have disappeared in the cave, because it had done what it needed to.

Merlin had saved him again.

But now he was still, and Arthur knew he wouldn't like what came next.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself blinking in the sunlight streaming through the windows in Gaius's chambers.

"He hasn't got much longer. Has Arthur got the flower."

Guinevere closed her eyes and then sighed.

"I don't know. Uther won't allow anyone to see him. Is there nothing we can do to help?"

Gaius sighed.

"Only the leaf of the Mortaeus flower can save him."

"And we have to find out if Arthur has it." Then, quieter, "I could sneak into the dungeon."

Gaius looked up.

"That would be very dangerous."

Merlin wheezed, and both Gaius and Gwen's eyes met and Arthur found himself loving her a little more in that moment.

"I have to; he'll die if I don't."

Gaius nodded.

"Be careful."

The scene changed, he watched as Guinevere rushed in a crushed flower in her hand, she handed it to Gaius and looked anxiously around the room.

"How is he?"

"His breathing's worse. We have to hurry."

Gaius nodded as Guinevere settled herself at Merlin's side and Gaius hurriedly began to work on grinding up the flower, only to stop.

"The posion was created using magic. We may need magic to make an antidote."

And Arthur knew that before the purge Gaius had been a sorcerer, knew that he had sworn to stop practicing and in that moment he knew that Gaius had broken that oath for a raven haired nineteen year old idiot, who somehow could endear himself to anyone.

He also found he wasn't angry, only relieved.

"But we can't. It's forbidden. Even if we could."

"I'll try and make it work without it. Oh, I need some fresh water."

She nods and takes the bowel he offered leaving the chambers in a clamber, Gaius doesn't notice though he only pulls the bowel closer to his face and frowns before beginning to recite.

"Sythan…"

He stopped and glanced around, his eyes finding Merlin.

"Sythan arrest wearth feasceaft funden. Denum efter dome. Dreamleas gebad he gewinnes longsum."

The potion simmered and frothed and sizzled and Gaius smiled as Gwen rushed in handing him a full bowel of water before rushing to Merlin's side.

"Thank you."

He pours the still frothing liquid into a small cup and went to Merlin's side.

"Hold his nose."

Guinevere does as is asked of her and then Gaius poured the frothing mess into Merlin's open mouth, before holding it closed and massaging Merlin's throat.

"Swallow, Merlin. Swallow it."

"He's stopped breathing, what's happening? Gaius?"

Gaius didn't answer only laid his ear to Merlin's chest and in that moment Arthur knew what was to be said.

"His heart has stopped."

But, Merlin was alive, he was alive and whole, and back in Camelot, in the dungeon's, but even so he was alive and – he was at least - had him being here changed something? Would he awake to a world without Merlin, a Merlin that had died years ago?

Would he awake to a different world then the one he knew?

He didn't know, all he knew was this moment hurt more than the moment he found out what Merlin was – how he had been lied to – and that – that had hurt the most hadn't it? – and, oh god, Merlin's heart had stopped. Merlin who was awaiting his fate in a cell, Merlin who he –

"He's dead."

"He can't be, he can't be, it was his destiny – "

Gaius stood then, quickly followed by Gwen who folded into Gaius's chest, crying.

"It's my fault. If I'd have got here sooner. If I'd have been quicker."

She muttered and then sobbed.

"No, no, it was me; I should've looked after him better. It's my fault."

But it was really Arthur's fault.

Then:

"That's disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're old enough to be her grandfather."

They both looked up then.

"Merlin…you're alive."

Merlin grinned weak bly.

"No, I'm the ghost come back to haunt you."

Arthur snorted. Merlin was – he wasn't –

He was alive.

Then Guinevere kissed him and Arthur stared wide eyed, because Merlin – and Guinevere – and fuck, well he hadn't expected that. He wasn't jealous that Merlin had kissed her first, not in the least, still he did clench his fists a bit too tight and perhaps feel that Merlin deserved to muck out the stables sometime earlier then after the week he was given to recover fully.

Still he was alive. Still alive in Camelot, in the dungeon's, and what did this change?

He didn't know.

"Sorry, I just…I thought you were dead."

"It's fine. It's more than fine….erm…what happened? The last thing I remember is drinking the wine."

The scene changed.

Gaius and Merlin were sitting at the table, a blanket wrapped tightly around Merlin's shoulders.

"Arthur may give you a hard time, but at heart he's a man of honor. There aren't many who'd have risked what he did for a servant."

"It all would've been for nothing if you didn't know how to make the antidote."

Gaius nodded and pointed a finger at Merlin's still full plate.

"Eat your dinner."

"I still don't understand why she went to all the trouble of framing Bayard, she could've just kept quiet and killed Arthur."

"But destroying Arthur and Camelot wasn't all she was after. She knew you would be forced to drink that wine. It was you she wanted to kill. Seems someone else knows you're destined for great things, Merlin."

There was a strange tint of foreshadowing in those words.

The scene changed.


	10. X: Lancelot

Merlin was picking mushrooms. Excluding all the puns that he could made from that Arthur found that he already knew something bad was about to happen because – well, when did something good happen to anyone from Camelot in the woods?

So really, he was only mildly surprised when a Griffin burst out of the bush, and Merlin – in true Merlin fashion – turned and ran, and wasn't he supposed to be powerful, couldn't he just magic something to stop the creature?

And again, in true Merlin fashion – just when it counts the most – he trips. Arthur doesn't know if he should panic, laugh at the sheer clumsiness, or yell at the idiot that was just sitting there with a hand over his face like that would save him!

All in all Arthur was quite glad when a man burst through the underbrush holding a sword and lunging at the Griffin. The creature seemed to be distracted by the metal of the sword and gave a feral growl but retreated enough that the man – who Arthur had yet to see the face of – could grab an ashen faced Merlin by the hand and drags him behind an old and partially rotted fallen tree.

They waited a few tense moments before Merlin peeked his head over the tree trunk and sighed in what could only be described as relief.

"It's gone. You saved my life. I'm Merlin."

And then Arthur got the first proper view of the man who had just saved Merlin, and to his great shock it was –

"Lancelot."

Arthur sighed and suppressed the anger and the sadness that seeing Lancelot again brought, remembering only too well what would become of this man.

Merlin clasped Lancelot's hand in his own and gave it a shake as the scene changed. He was in Gaius's chambers now, as Lancelot stared out the window into what must be the square and Merlin watched on.

"Ever since I was a child I've dreamed of coming here. It's my life's ambition to join the knights of Camelot. I know what you're thinking I-I expect too much. After all, who am I? They have their pick of the best and the bravest in the land…"

"Lancelot?"

The man turned to face the smiling Merlin.

"Yes?"

"They're going to love you."

"They are?

"I've seen you in action. You could shame the great Arthur himself."

"I hardly think so."

"In fact, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to talk to him right now?"

Lancelot looked shocked.

"You know Arthur?"

"Oh yes."

Merlin smiled and stood, turning on his heel and leaving a gaping Lancelot behind him. The scene changed and Arthur found himself standing next to Merlin who was holding pieces of his younger self's armor.

"Grummund's the third to fail this month. How am I meant to defend Camelot with rubbish like that?"

Merlin pierced his lips and lent backwards, so he was farther in the shade. He could see the wheels spinning in his head and he could remember oh to well what the servants next words were.

"Well, I think I might be able to help."

"You, Merlin? You haven't the faintest idea what it takes to become a knight. Courage, fortitude, discipline."

Arthur snorted; from where he was standing now he could say that Merlin had all that – excluding the discipline perhaps – including a few other characteristics that weren't so suited to a knight, like an uncanny ability for attracting trouble, and his ability to trip over the smallest of cracks in the otherwise smooth pavement.

All though it was arguable that he and his knight also had an uncanny ability to attract trouble long before Merlin ever set foot in Camelot.

"No, no, no, of course I don't, but I do know someone who does."

"Yeah?"

"He saved my life."

"That's blowing it for starters."

Merlin merely rolled his eyes and continued.

"No, no, no. He's really good. Honestly."

"That's great, Merlin. I'm sure he's terrific, but you forget the First Code of Camelot. Only those of noble blood can serve as knights, so, unless you friend is a nobleman…."

"Oh, er, he-he is a nobleman."

"Is he?"

"Absolutely."

"Very well. Bring him to the training ground tomorrow. And make sure he brings his seal of nobility."

"Thanks Arthur you won't regret it."

Arthur found himself back in Gaius's chambers were an anxious Lancelot paced back and forth, until finally the door opened and in stepped Merlin, the man wasted no time and literally bounded up to Merlin.

"Well? Did you speak to him?

"Yeah, I spoke to him."

"And?"

"And….."

Merlin sighed and shook his head sadly. To which Lancelot visibly deflated. Merlin however seemed unable to keep a straight face for long and soon broke out into a full blown grin that had Lancelot staring at him strangely.

"He said he would like to meet you!"

The man broke out into a grin that could rival Merlin's.

"Yes! Thank you! Thank you!"

Merlin laughed, "Hey, really, it was no problem, really. It's nothing, although…" he broke off and cleared his throat, "you're not a nobleman by any chance, are you?"

A Nobleman? No…" Lancelot laughed, "good lord, no, why do you ask?"

"It's just that….there is this…."

Gaius who must have just came back from gathering water from the pump answered for Merlin.

"The First Code of Camelot states that only those of noble blood can serve as a knight. Uther created the knights to protect this kingdom from those who wished to destroy it. He knew he would have to trust each of his knights with his life. So he chose them from the families that had sworn allegiance to him."

"The nobility…"

"And thus the First Code of Camelot was born, and ever since that day, only the sons of noble families have served as knights."

"But that is not fair!"

Gaius sighed shaking his head at Merlin's outburst.

"Fair or unfair, that's the way it is. I'm sorry, Lancelot, truly, I am."

Merlin sighed.

"Why do you want to be a knight so much anyway?"

"When I was a boy, my village was attacked by raiders from the northern plains; they were slaughtered where they stood, my father, my mother. Everyone. I alone escaped. I vowed that day that never again would I be helpless in the face of tyranny. I made sword craft my life. Every waking hour since that day, I devoted to the art of combat, and when I was ready, I set for the for Camelot, and now, it seems, my journey ends. Everything I fought for wasted."

Merlin sighed then but Arthur knew the look on his face, one that he was used to seeing on Merlin, it was the look of someone who was bound and determined that things would go their way, even if it killed them.

"I give you my word, whatever it takes, I will make this right."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the castle library as Merlin scoured the shelves for – something, and Geoffrey watched him with a hulks eye. Merlin shifted and blew dust off of a large tomb and carried it over to a table.

Intrigued, he stepped closer until he was able to read over Merlin's shoulder, it was a book of family crests – Northumbrian crests to be exact – Merlin then pulled a piece of parchment paper out of his pocket and laid it over a crest.

"Ic us bisen hraed tan hwanon."

Arthur groaned, he'd always wondered how Lancelot had done it. Well it turned out he didn't do it, Merlin did, because there on the parchment was the exact same crest that was on the page in the book. The scene changed and Arthur found himself once again in Gaius's chambers as Merlin entered grinning from ear to ear, the copied crest held up near his chin.

"What's that?"

Merlin grinned and handed it to the man.

"This – this is your seal of nobility."

"I-I don't understand!"

Merlin grinned.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Lancelot, fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria!"

Lancelot shook his head.

"No, Merlin, no!"

"Oh, right. So you don't want to be a knight, then?"

Lancelot glared at the grinning man.

"Of course I do!"

"Well…the rules don't allow it. Damn the rules! The rules are wrong!"

"But it's a lie! It's against everything the knights stand for!"

"You have as much right to be a knight as any man. I know it!"

"But the rules, Merlin!"

"We're not breaking the rules. We're bending them, that's all. You get your foot in the door. But after that you will be judged on your merit along, and if you succeed – if they make you a knight – it'll be because you earned it, noble or not. I can't change the way things are done around here, but you can…if you let me help you!"

There was a moment of silence before Lancelot gave a tense nod to which Merlin sighed and smiled. The scene changed as Arthur found himself standing on the outskirts of the training field as his younger self trained the younger recruits.

He briefly wondered why he was seeing this before he caught sight of Merlin, his beautiful queen, and Lancelot, both Guinevere and Merlin were fussing over Lancelot's knight costume, while the man stood there awkwardly.

In the background he could hear himself drilling the knights.

"One. Two. Three. Four. One. Two. Three. Four. Again!"

Finally both Guinevere and Merlin stepped backwards and looked Lancelot over.

"Well…you certainly look the part!"

Gwen smiled.

"Doesn't he just?"

Lancelot sighed.

"I don't feel it."

In the distance he saw his younger self wipe at his forehead, swiping sweat soaked bangs out of his eyes. He then clapped his hands together and grinned. "Okay, that'll be it for today, well done." The knights in training grinned and bowed before dispersing. Merlin smacked Lancelot between the shoulder blades and grinned.

"Here's your chance. Go for it."

Lancelot nodded shakily and stepped forward just as his younger self was picking up a discarded sword with an annoyed glare and laying it in the proper place on the sword rack. That was one thing that never changed, he'd always detested it when the trainee's – and the knights, though they were better about it – left weapons just laying around.

His younger self finally seemed to notice Lancelot and looked up with an expectant look.

"Yes?"

"Lancelot, fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria."

"Lance….a lot? My servant mentioned you. Got your seal?"

Lancelot bowed and handed the seal to Arthur who looked it over before slapping Lancelot across the back, knocking the man off balance and causing him to topple over backwards.

"Sire?"

"Sluggish reactions. In a battle you'd be dead by now. Come back when you're ready."

With that said his younger self turned his back on a Lancelot and started to walk away only to whip back around with a frown as Lancelot spoke.

"I'm ready now, sire."

"You are, are you? You can start by cleaning out the stables."

Lancelot frowned and looked over to Merlin who grinned and gave him double thumbs up. Lancelot nodded as the scene changed. Arthur found himself once again in Gaius's chambers as Merlin handed Gaius a book, which the older man began to flip through muttering about some creature.

I'm sorry about Lancelot. I see you were upset."

Merlin, who was flipping through his own book, looked up.

"Oh. You know…that's life. You win some, you lose some."

Gaius looked shocked but nodded.

"You're taking it very well, I have to say." Then, with a skeptical look, "very mature." Arthur couldn't help himself, he snorted. Merlin took no notice and continued to flip through the book.

"Thank you, Gaius."

Merlin nodded as the door opened and Lancelot came stumbling in covered in dirt, hay and – well, Arthur was glad he couldn't actually smell in these memories, because he was sure the man smelled foul.

"How'd it go?"

Lancelot merely groaned and headed for the stairs that led to Merlin's room. Gaius gave Merlin the look that Arthur had come to know since he was a child as the Eyebrow of Doom. Merlin looked sheepish and shrugged his shoulders.

"He found work at the stables."

Gaius nodded.

"I see. And the truth before I lose my temper?"

Merlin looked down and shrugged his shoulders.

"He's er…trying out for the knights."

Gaius looked shocked before a frown graced his chapped lips.

"The First Code of Camelot has never been broken for any man. What've you done, Merlin?"

"Okay, I bent the rules a little, but the rules are wrong. They're unfair!"

"You bent the rules? Using magic?"

"It was nothing, honestly. It was more of a trick than actual magic."

"Your magic is not a toy, Merlin. It's not for you to use or abuse as you see fit!"

Gaius sounded exasperated and Arthur found himself wondering how often Merlin had been scolded like this, and he also wondered if one of the reasons that he had never noticed Merlin's magic was because of Gaius always telling Merlin not to use his magic for frivolous things, thus keeping Merlin from being too obvious.

Not that from what he had seen Merlin had been awfully discrete, and not that he blamed Gaius, it was probably him, and the fact that Merlin looked and acted like the last person that would ever use magic, let alone be born with magic, that had kept Merlin alive and kept him from being discovered.

Arthur sighed.

"I know, I know."

"Then why'd you do it?"

"I owe Lancelot my life. I am paying for that debt the only way I can by giving him the opportunity he deserves. If you want to punish me for it, go ahead."

Gaius was still staring at Merlin with an unreadable expression when the scene changed. He was in the great hall now; the room was alight with activity, trays of food, mead, and for the knights – wine, was being passed around, and in the middle of it all was his younger self sitting with a grinning Lancelot.

Lancelot's congratulatory party then. Off to the side he could see Merlin and Gaius and he migrated towards them.

"Look at him, Gaius. Does not Lancelot deserve this moment?"

Gaius sighed.

"I never said he didn't. But destiny and desserts are not the same thing. You played God, Merlin. You set him on a path of your choosing. Tonight you brought him triumph, but who knows what the future may hold for him."

Merlin was quiet for a moment before he grinned.

"Yeah, I don't know what it said on your invitation, but on mine it said celebration."

Gaius chuckled, while Arthur merely shook his head at Merlin, once a cheeky idiot, always a cheeky idiot.

"Point taken. Don't come back too late."

Gaius turned and left then, just as his Queen ambled her way up to Merlin a grin on her face. They stood together in silence until something caught Merlin's eyes and he smiled.

"You know what? I think our Sir Lancelot might have eyes for you Gwen."

Arthur growled because, of course Lancelot had eyes for his Queen, even back then, he'd thought Lancelot had been looking at Morgana – and it was still disturbing how beautiful his younger self found his sister – but of course he had been looking at Guinevere.

His Queen smiled and giggled.

"Don't be silly."

"What? So what if he did? Would that really be so bad?"

Gwen sighed.

"He's not really my type."

"Oh, well, there's a surprise. Sometimes, Guinevere I wonder if you'd know what your type was if he was standing right next to you."

And then – oh god, you have got to be kidding – his Queen gave Merlin this wistful look that frankly made Arthur want to have Merlin muck out the stables – actually screw mucking them out, have him live there!

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes before sighing. He was here to see what he had missed before, not to become jealous at every one who merely looked at Guinevere, besides he was the one that won her in the end, not Merlin, or Lancelot.

"So, come on. Just for the sake of argument, if you had to, Arthur or Lancelot?"

Guinevere giggled.

"But I don't have to, and I never will."

Merlin let out an obviously fake sigh.

"Oh, you are no fun, Gwen."

His queen was about to retort but his younger self interrupted her by banging on the table.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in a toast to our new recruit, our new knight of Camelot, Sir Lancelot."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself once again in Gaius's chambers as both Lancelot and Merlin came stumbling down the stairs holding their heads in their hands and wincing at the early morning light. Arthur laughed, knowing a hangover when he saw one.

"Argh. Two yards of ale? Two miles, more like it."

Gaius greeted them with two drinks that from the looks of it were filled with his famous and most effective hangover cure. Both men took the drink but both looked uncertain and Gaius finally shook his head and spoke.

"Good morning, gentlemen, don't look at it, don't smell it, and don't ask what's in it, just down it in one."

Both men gave each other a look but did as Gaius said, and Arthur laughed at their horrified and disgusted, and disgruntled looks they came away with.

"Argh…"

"That was – horrible!"

Gaius chuckled.

"Yes well, better? Good. Can't have you nodding off on you first day on the job, Lancelot. Merlin, I do believe Arthur is used to it."

"Hey!"was Merlin's response, and then, "That's Sir Lancelot, if you don't mind."

All three men laughed but the moment was broken as three guards burst through the door, grabbing and dragging Lancelot from the room, leaving Gaius and Merlin staring after him.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the dungeons outside Lancelot's cell as Merlin came bounding down the stairs and stopped in front of the cell. He stood there in silence for a moment, his eyes on the floor before hesitantly he looked up.

"I don't know what to say to you, Lancelot."

Lancelot stood from where he was sitting and moved towards the bars.

"You're not to blame."

Merlin shook his head, his whole form radiating guilt and self-hate.

"Yes, I am. I pushed you. I screwed up again. I made you lie."

Lancelot shook his head.

"The choice was mine. My punishment is mine to bear, and mine to bear alone."

Merlin's eyes had fallen to the ground again and he shook his head, and Arthur could almost see him replaying Gwen's imprisonment.

"I wish there was something I could do."

"There is. You can stop blaming yourself."

Merlin shook his head.

"It was my fault."

"No it wasn't Merlin."

Merlin just shook his head, before turning and heading for the stairs. Arthur followed behind the servant as he made his way back to Gaius's chambers. The man opened the door and stepped in as the older man looked up from a book.

"Merlin?"

"Whatever you do, don't say ' I told you so'."

Gaius shook his head.

"I have no wish to gloat, Merlin. What's done is done. Here. Come and take a look at this. I realized my mistake. I've been looking for the creature in the wrong place, in the records of all known living things in the kingdom. And then I thought, but what about the creatures only recorded in legend? In prophecy? In myth? Then I discovered this."

Merlin moved over and bent down to look at the book. His eyes widened in recognition and he tapped the page.

"That is it! That's the monster!"

Gaius was about to respond until the warning bell tolled and both men looked at each other in horror. They scrambled over to the window as the beast swooped down and into the courtyard. The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the council chambers as his father stalked in followed closely by Gaius, Merlin, and his younger self.

Both Merlin and Gaius were giving each other looks and Arthur found that he could read the conversation they were having without speaking by just watching their eyes, and the way Merlin's mouth seemed tight with dread.

'You have to tell him!'

'The king will not believe us, Merlin.'

Here Merlin glared and gestured with his hands in a way that Arthur took as 'well, make him believe.' Finally after a long moment Gaius nodded and spoke.

'Sire, if I may?"

"Gaius?"

"I've been researching this creature, sire. I believe it to be a griffin."

"A griffin? What in the world is that?"

"The griffin is a creature of magic, Sire."

His father glared and turned away.

"I don't have time for this Gaius."

But Gaius didn't stop, just as Arthur remembered.

"It is born of magic, Sire, and it can only be killed by magic."

The king shook his head dismissing Gaius's statement just as Arthur remembered him doing, just like many a time before.

"You are mistaken. It's a creature of flesh and blood like any other. Arthur proved that today."

"I'm not so sure, Father. I think there may be some truth in what he says."

His father frowned.

"What truth?"

"The griffin was unharmed, Sire. Our weapons seemed useless against it."

The king scoffed and turned away once more.

"Useless? I think not. No, it's tasted our steel once; the next time will be its last. When will your knights be ready to ride again?"

His younger self sighed and he remembered being frustrated and full of dread at the prospect of facing the creature once more.

"An hour. Maybe two."

His father nodded his back still to the rest of the people in the room.

"Good. We finish this tonight."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in Gaius's chambers once more as the two men gathered around the table that held the book that they had found the griffin in. Gaius bent to read it over once more and was absorbed in the text until Merlin spoke.

"Is it true? The griffin can only be killed by magic?"

Gaius looked up, his face grave.

"Yes, Merlin. I'm certain of it. If Arthur rides out against it, he'll die."

"Then he must be stopped. Uther must see reason."

"Where magic is concerned, our King is blind to reason. And yet…magic is our only hope."

"Surely – You're not suggesting…"

"It is your destiny, Merlin. The true purpose of your magic."

Merlin shook his head, looking terrified, unadulterated fear practically radiating from his very being, it was in the way he held himself and the way his pupils had dilated so far that you could barely see the whites of his eyes.

"You saw it, Gaius! I can't go up against that thing!"

"But if you do not, then Arthur will surely perish."

Merlin shook his head fast, his eyes wild.

"No! No! This is….this is madness! I don't have magic that powerful! There must be another way!"

"This is the only way."

Merlin shook his head, the movement jerky as he clenched his fists at his sides.

"Do you even care what happens to me? Oh, just do this, Merlin. Do that, Merlin. Go and kill the griffin, Merlin. Even thought the thing scares you half to death! Go! Go get killed! I'll just warm my feet by the fire."

Merlin had begun to pace and Gaius had to grab him by the shoulders to keep him still and get him to look at the older man, and Arthur knew he saw what Arthur saw, the pure terror in the blown blue pupils.

"Merlin! Merlin, look at me! You are the only thing I care about in this entire world. I would give my life for you without a thought. But for what? I cannot save Arthur, I do not have the power, and even if I did, it is not my destiny, you know."

Finally Merlin nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't know what else I can say."

"I'll say it for you. We have two hours to find a way to kill that thing."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in Gaius's chambers still, looking towards the window he saw the sun had begun to set. Some time had passed then, both Merlin and Gaius were bent over what he could only assume was a spell book, an old and rusted dagger in front of Merlin.

"Bregdan anweald gafeluec!"

Nothing happened and Merlin slammed his head down on the table and groaned in the universal sound of frustration as Gaius lent a hand on his shoulders.

"Don't worry, Merlin. I know you're trying."

Merlin looked up, fire in his eyes.

"And I'm failing! And if Arthur dies because I'm not good enough…"

"Merlin…"

"Merlin!"

It was clear he was going to say something more but he didn't get the chance as the door slammed open and his Queen came running in. Merlin hurriedly covered the book with a few different parchments and turned to the distraught woman.

"Merlin! Lancelot's riding out to kill the griffin!"

Merlin looked panicked then.

"He's what?"

"I couldn't get him to stop, Merlin, he'll listen to you – "

She didn't get to finish because Merlin turned and ran and when the scene didn't change Arthur followed the man through the winding hallways at breakneck speed – and really who knew Merlin could run so fast? – until he finally skidded to a stop in front of Lancelot, who was in the process of saddling a white gelding.

"I'm coming with you!"

Lancelot at him for a moment, before shaking his head.

"No, you're not."

He made a move to mount the horse but Merlin grabbed his arm and Arthur could see the steel in his electric blue eyes.

"Just try and stop me!"

Lancelot shook his head.

"Merlin, you're not a soldier."

"You said it yourself, Lancelot, Arthur needs all the help he can get. Now let's go!"

Lancelot sighed and nodded before Merlin sprinted towards the stables coming back in what seemed to be seconds with a fully saddled brown mare, with a nod he slid into the saddle and the two set off towards the forest at break neck speed.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the middle of a battlefield, Merlin was kneeling down beside his younger self with his hand on the pulse point in his neck, the man looked worried as all hell and visibly deflated in relief when must have finally felt a steady pulse.

"He's alive!"

Lancelot, who Arthur had just noticed, gave a nod, as the griffin gave a roar and flew into sight. Merlin nodded as Lancelot scrabbled over to the horse and into the saddle as Merlin handed him the lance that had fallen, forgotten, in the haste to check for survivors.

Lancelot's horse reared–

"Bregdan anweald gafeluec…."

Lancelot passed him by and Merlin raised his hands –

The griffin charged –

Bregdan anweald gafeluec

Lancelot charged -

"Bregdan anweald gafeluec!"

Nothing happened!

"Bregdan anweald gafeluec!"

Finally the spear flamed blue and Lancelot lanced it towards the creature striking it dead. The scene changed.

Arthur found himself outside the large double doors leading into the council room as Lancelot leaned up against the far wall, his head down, eyes closed, and his hands laced together in front of him so tightly that his knuckles shone snow white. Merlin rounded the corner and came to stand next to the man.

"What are they doing?"

Lancelot didn't look up.

"Deciding my fate."

Merlin grinned.

"But this is great! They'll restore your knighthood, of course they will! You killed the griffin!"

Lancelot looked up then, and his face was grave and hard, but his eyes kind, creating a living contradiction.

"But I didn't kill the griffin."

Merlin looked shocked and he followed the man as he walked farther out of earshot of the guards.

"I didn't kill the griffin, Merlin. You did."

Merlin shook his head, perhaps a bit too fast because Lancelot nodded his head as if it had confirmed something for him. Arthur had a good idea what that 'something' was. Lancelot had always been close to Merlin after all and nothing ties two people closer together than a secret.

"That's ridiculous."

"Bregdan Anweald…I heard you. I saw your eyes."

Merlin went stark white and Lancelot's stony expression softened.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. But I cannot take the credit for what I did not do. There'll be no more lies from me, no more deceit. I've learned my lesson."

"What are you going to do?"

Lancelot sighed and straightened until he was standing at his full height.

"The only thing I can do!"

The scene changed as the large double doors were thrown open. Arthur found himself standing next to Merlin and Gaius in one of the towers. In the distance Arthur could see the fading red - almost maroon in the shadows of the trees - of Lancelot's cloak. Merlin and Gaius watched the fading figure until there could be nothing seen except the green of the trees. And although he didn't look away then, only then, did Merlin speak.

"Perhaps you were right, Gaius. Perhaps I should have never got involved."

Gaius shook his head and laid his hands on Merlin's shoulders.

"No Merlin, I was wrong. Lancelot needed you and you needed Lancelot. Your destinies were entwined….."

"Will he ever return?"

"That I cannot say."

"Till next time then, Sir Lancelot."

And as the scene changed, Arthur thought that even if he didn't know what was to come, he would still believe Lancelot would return, because the way Merlin said it, coming from Merlin, those words sounded almost like prophecy.


	11. XI: A Remedy To Cure All Ills

Arthur found himself in a sunlit stair well. Blinking his eyes once he took in the scene, his queen was there looking frightened and anguished along with a pale and silent Merlin and a weary and old looking Gaius.

"Is she any better?"

Gaius looked down and frowned, and his queen looked stricken and hurried down the stairs, Gaius looked up his face hard and his mouth firm, but his eyes were soft and sad, it was the face of an experienced physician and it was the face of a man who didn't want to lose someone he obviously cared about.

"She's all but dead, Merlin."

Merlin shook his head fast.

"No, you're going to cure her. You have to."

Gaius frowned.

"Don't you start. I've tried everything."

Merlin looked down at the tone in Gaius's voice and the two stood in silence, until Merlin looked up, a wary but eager look to his face all at once, and Arthur knew what Merlin would want to do and he shook his head, because he knew that Gaius would shoot him down.

Gaius was more cautious then Merlin, whether because of age or knowledge, Arthur knew not, although he would lean towards a combination of both.

"I was wondering…."

Gaius's eyes sharpened and his reply was terse.

"What?"

"Maybe I could…..maybe I could help her."

Gaius frowned and sighed.

"If you're suggesting magic, my boy….have you forgotten what happened with Gwen's father? This is not a magical illness; it must be cured by conventional means. We keep trying. I need you to go to the market and see if you can find me some fresh rosemary."

Merlin frowned and started to leave, his eyes on the floor, but he turned back quickly his face open and sad and yearning.

"There must be something more I can do?"

Gaius looked down and looked up again, his face hardening back into the mask of a physician, a physician that seemed determined to ignore Merlin.

"And yarrow."

Arthur found himself in his chambers, his younger self slumped in a chair as Merlin flinted and flew across the room picking up pieces of discarded clothing and putting them in a ever growing pile while, in-between that, pacing back and forth, looking nervous and pale and afraid.

Morgana's illness then, he remembered this.

"It's gonna be alright. It is. I know it is. She's gonna be absolutely…"

"Merlin."

"What?"

"You're making me anxious…"

"But I'm not worried! I'm not! I know she'll be fine!"

"Then stop pacing."

Merlin frowned and sat down but his fingers began to tap on the wood and his feet knocked a rhythm on the floor and it was with a great sigh that his younger self heaved himself up and began to wear a track in the floor in the place of Merlin, while the pale man looked on, his fingers drumming across the table, and the sound, Arthur remembered thinking, reminded him of that of an executioners drum.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the Morgana's chambers, were the future sorceress lay still and pale as death. Gaius was examining her, his hand on the pulse point in her wrist and lifting back eyelids to stare into sightless eyes.

The man sat back and sighed.

"We cannot preserve her life for much longer. She has hours, maybe less."

His younger self stepped forward then, his – their – eyes aflame, and he watched on with a kind of sadness because the woman he was fighting for would want him dead and would become someone that he thought of only with disgust and regret.

"We cannot let her die!"

His father stepped forward then, and the man looked tired and Arthur also remembered the other man that the pale woman had wronged, because Uther had just as much right to be upset, that was his daughter on the bed after all.

"Arthur, please."

His younger self backed up then and sighed returning to stand next to a silent Merlin.

"There's a man, he came to the castle yesterday. He claims he can cure her."

"That's ridiculous. He doesn't know what's wrong with her."

"He says he has a remedy that can cure all ills."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the guest chambers as Merlin set an ornate box down on the table. The box landed with a heavy thud and Edwin looked up as Merlin stroked his hand down the edge and over the leather.

"This...I work with Gaius every day, this is different."

Edwin stared at Merlin until finally he nodded slowly.

"Yes….it was all originally designed for alchemy."

Merlin's brow furrowed.

"Making gold?"

Edwin's eyes turned sharply as they looked Merlin over, as if to seek out a threat, as if to find out if the man suspected anything, and Merlin stared back in just the same way, it was certainty interesting to see the man he usually reserved as unobservant carefully looking for a threat.

"Hmm, I see. You have an interest in science."

"Well, Gaius is always telling me that science is knowledge."

Edwin nodded.

"It has the answers to everything."

Merlin looked down then, a small smile on his lips before he looked up his head cocked to the side. "Maybe, maybe it does have an answer to a lot of things, but it can't explain everything, it can't explain love, it can't explain emotions."

Edwin was silent.

The room swirled and Arthur found himself outside the door to Morgana's chambers. His younger self was there along with his father, Merlin and Gaius. It was silent then, everyone waiting with baited breath and when the golden haired man descended the stairs.

"Great news, you Majesty. You will be glad to hear it is not an inflammation of the brain."

"What is it then?"

"It is a cerebral hemorrhage."

Arthur remembered wondering how that was great new but never voicing the thought. It was silent until Gaius shook his head.

"Hemorrhage? I don't think so."

"I found this trace of blood in her ear."

He lifted a cloth then, blood bright against the stark white of the cloth. His father shook his head, his face white and drawn. "God in heaven." Edwin nodded and a smile that was supposed to be comforting coming to life on his lips.

"The severity depends upon the site and volume of the bleed. If not treated, it can lead to coma, and eventually death."

Uther rounded on Gaius then, his face alight with anger and fear. It was a combination he was used to seeing in his father and yet this moment was more potent, because beneath the anger there was fear, fear for his daughter, and if anyone had ever doubted that his father had cared for his children then one need only look beneath the anger to see the fear.

"How could you have missed this?"

Gaius looked at the king, swallowed and then spoke. "I saw no blood, I looked there – "

"Please. Just thank the fates that you did not administer more rosemary to stimulate the circulation. Can you imagine what that might have done?"

His father turned back to Gaius.

"It may have increased the bleed."

"Is there a cure?"

"See for yourself."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in Edwin's guest chambers as Merlin began to pick through the books and papers and strange equipment, until he finally came to a box and with a furrowed brow he picked it up and opened it to see millions of tiny insects all still, lying on a lining of satin.

Closing it gently, he ran his hands over the cover, brow furrowed and his eyes sharp.

"Bebeode be arisan ealdu."

There was a buzzing and then Merlin flipped the lid back to see thousands of tiny bodies moving. Merlin shut the box quickly.

"Very good."

Merlin spun around knocking over a jar with a fine yellow powder in it in typical Merlin fashion, he half walked, half stumbled over to the other man, and handed the box to him. Edwin ran his hands over the cover.

"Swefn."

The buzzing stopped. Edwin looked up then, a knowing look on his face.

"You have magic."

Merlin shook his head fast.

"It wasn't me, I didn't do it, I didn't do anything. I'm just a servant."

Edwin looked doubtful.

"Then how else did you bring them to life? Only magic can do such a thing. These little angels are how I cured Lady Morgana, they repaired the damage to her brain. They saved her life. Magic can be a force for good."

Merlin nodded.

"I know."

"Then why do you fear it."

Arthur thought of an execution on a sunny day and of a pale boy not looking away.

"Uther has banned it. It's not permitted."

"Should I have let Morgana die, just because of a law?"

Merlin jaw tensed his reply hard.

"No."

"People like us, Merlin. We have a gift. Do you not think it should be used to make this a better world?"

"Perhaps."

They were silent and Merlin bent down to start to clean up the powder but Edwin stilled him with a hand on his shoulder. "Don't waste your time picking that up, Merlin. Feormian daerst renian." And just like that the yellow powder was back in the jar, and the jar was on the table as if it had never moved from its original spot.

Merlin looked up, his eyes curious and Edwin smiled.

"Why waste a talent like that? I can teach you, Merlin."

"Raedan asce geatan."

The jar lifted off the table and with a curl of his hand Merlin poured the fine yellow into a bowl which poured it into another jar and that jar another jar. Merlin lowered his hand and the objects gently settled as if they hadn't ever moved.

"What do you use this for?"

"I don't. It's dangerous here to have magic. Besides Gaius doesn't like me to."

Edwin shook his head.

"A gift like yours should be nurtured, practiced, enjoyed. You need someone to help you, to encourage you, I can do that."

Merlin nodded slowly, "Perhaps."

"Imagine what we could achieve, if we shared our knowledge."

Merlin nodded.

"I should be getting back."

"Of course. But you must promise to keep our secret safe."

"Of course I will. I wouldn't reveal you. Why would I?" Edwin smiled softly but it didn't reach his eyes, eyes that were watching Merlin like a hare out of reach from the hawk, silently laughing. "People like you and I, we must look after each other."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself standing next to Gaius as the man flipped through a book, a look of intense concentration on his face.

"Have you been up all night?"

Arthur looked up to see Merlin at the top of the staircase that led up to his small bedroom, a pack on his back.

"Yes, but it was worth it. Where are you going?"

"Er, I told Edwin I'd be up at dawn to collect some supplies."

Gaius nodded. "Well, you better get a move on then." Merlin nodded and bounded out the door as the scene changed and Arthur found himself in the same chambers but at the opposite end of the day, pale moonlight spilled through the window as Merlin paced back and forth in front of a stone faced Gaius.

"Gaius! Uther cannot do this to you. You tried to save Morgana."

"Uther's not to blame."

No, Arthur thought, Edwin is.

"I will speak to Edwin, you can work together, think of what you could learn from each other."

Gaius shook his head and lay a hand on the other man's shoulder stilling his pacing.

"No, you mustn't do anything."

Merlin shook his head.

"I can't stand by and do nothing!"

"Uther's right. It's time I stepped down."

And then Arthur see's the moment Merlin's eyes land on the pack that Gaius was standing in front of and he sees the panic that takes over and Arthur is reminded that Gaius was probably the closest thing that Merlin had ever had to a father and even now – or rather then, it had only been five months since Merlin had been made his manservant – the bond that they had was strong.

"What – what are you doing?"

"I cannot stay when there's no longer a use for me."

"You're – you're leaving?"

Gaius nodded and laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"I believe it is for the best."

"Then I will come with you. It'll be an adventure."

"Merlin, Merlin no. You're like a son to me. I never expected such a blessing so late in life but – "

"And you are more of a father to me than my own ever was."

"Then, as a father, I must tell you, you must remain here. Camelot is where you belong, it's were you're meant to be Merlin. Don't throw it all away."

"But you belong here too!"

Gaius shook his head.

"Not anymore. Merlin, you must promise me you will not waste your gift."

"My gift? Before Camelot I knew nothing of magic except what was instinctual to me. You changed that, you gave me the first tool I had to learn more. My gift, it means nothing without you here to guide me, to teach me."

"You have a great destiny. If I have had a small part in that, then I am pleased."

"There is so much I have yet to learn. I need you to teach me. Gaius please…"

"I'm afraid I'm leaving here tonight, Merlin. And there's nothing you can do or say that can persuade me otherwise."

Merlin shook his head then, his eyes firm, like hard gems set within cold stone that needed human touch to warm it.

"I will not let this happen!"

Merlin turned then and stormed towards the door his whole form radiating tension, but what Arthur found significant was the way Gaius seemed to slump the moment the younger man was gone, and Arthur wondered what part of the story even Merlin hadn't been privy to.

"Oh my boy….goodbye, Merlin."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself staring into his own face years younger and terrified. He remembers this, he'd thought this was the true meaning of fear and in a way it was, but there was more to it than that.

"Merlin! My father has Morgana's illness! We must find Edwin!"

Merlin's brow furrowed.

"What – "

"Don't just stand there, you go check his chambers I'll check the library, that's where he's been spendin – "

But Merlin was gone, running and his younger self took off in the opposite direction and at a loss and knowing what he had found he followed the servent as he bounded down the halls and through the doors into a room on fire.

"What are you doing, Edwin? Gaius? "

But it wasn't Edwin who answered, the blonde haired man had his back to Merlin still, no, it was the man on the ground that spoke up.

"He was trying to kill the king. I couldn't let him."

Edwin turned then, the scar on his face looking dark and ugly in a way it hadn't before. His face lit up with manic glee and his face twisted into an ugly grin. Merlin stood there indecision in each line of his face.

"I can rule the kingdom now. And with you at my side, we can be all-powerful!"

And that, Arthur thought, was were Edwin lost Merlin, any chance he had of having the warlock on his side was gone the moment those words left his mouth, because doing something like that was so different from something Merlin would do.

And he wondered what he was afraid of with the Merlin back in the waking world? He didn't know.

"Release him! Gaius has done nothing!"

The blonde clicked his tongue.

"It's your loss, Merlin. Swilte!"

Arthur winced as the spell sent an axe hurtling at the servent, but Merlin himself didn't even blink the axe stopped flying within a moment and hung suspended until Merlin thrust his arm out and the weapon was sent back at the manic blonde.

"Swilte!"

The blade stopped and hung there, shaking as the two sorcerer's magic strained against it. Edwin gritted his teeth, and tried again and the blade gave an inch but that was it, and with a flare of golden eyes the blade was sent hurtling towards Edwin and hit it's mark with a solid thunk, the man crumpled and slowly the flames dissipated.

And Arthur saw the moment realization flashed through Merlin's eyes, the moment he realized what he'd just done, but the man didn't crumple like Arthur had after his first kill, instead his eyes closed for a moment and he swallowed face pale, but he didn't crumple.

"Are you alright?"

Gaius pushed himself to his feet.

"Yes. Thank you Merlin, what are you doing?"

The man asked as he caught sight of Merlin picking up the box of beetles.

"Uther's ill; the same thing Morgana had. Edwin said he used these to cure Morgana. Maybe we can too."

And if Merlin's voice trembled, if his steps were a bit shaky Gaius didn't notice. And if Gaius found it odd that Merlin had beaten a sorcerer that clearly had more training then him, and hadn't spoken a word while doing it, he didn't say.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself standing beside Merlin and Gaius as they stared down at his father's pale and unmoving form, Merlin swallowed and ran his hands through his hair. "How do we get the beetle out before it kills him?"

"It can only be done by magic…"

Merlin looked up his eyes frantic. Fear making his eyes dart wildly back and forth.

"We can't use magic on Uther, he'd kill us!"

"We don't have a choice anymore!"

And neither of them acknowledged the fact that they did have a choice, they could just walk away. They could walk away and ever one would think nothing less of them because there was nothing they could have done, it was magic that would have been blamed, not the two men who stood beside his father's bedside. Not the man that was being asked to do the saving now, not the one that looked completely terrified on top of being pale and shaky.

Not the one that had killed a man minutes ago.

"Gaius, I can't! Don't ask me to!"

"There are times when it is necessary, Merlin. It is your right."

"Gaius please….I don't...I don't know how to do this!"

Gaius laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder then and Arthur wondered how such a kind act could seem to lay a burden that needn't be there on the younger man's shoulders. And Arthur wondered if it would have been kinder to let Uther die then to ask Merlin to do this.

"If you don't, he's going to die. Do you want that on your conscious? Could you look at Arthur – "

"Okay, Gaius, okay…"

Merlin sat on the edge, his hand coming to rest over his father's ear, his eyes closed and his brow creased and he sat deathly still for a long moment until finally without opening his eyes he began to speak.

"Bebeode be arisan ealdu. Ablinnen."

Slowly without opening his eyes Merlin pulled his hand back and ever so slowly opened it until he revealed a tiny beetle lying still in the center of his palm. Gaius looked back and forth from Merlin to the king whose skin was rapidly regaining color.

"Merlin…has anybody ever told you, you're a genius?"

Merlin's eyes snapped open then and slowly a relieved smile began to dance across his lips.

"I did it…" and then, "You certainly haven't."

The scene changed.


	12. XII

They leave at sunset with saddlebags filled to the bursting point. Gwaine is oddly quiet and Merlin takes it as a blessing because he can't afford to be distracted when so much is riding on him not mucking this one up.

The problem with tracking auras, Merlin thinks, is that the aura is always stronger at the source of the magic - the sorcerer or sorceress - and the recipient of the magic, like a magically lit fire or in this case Arthur. Ordinarily it's not hard to trace the path between, but when it's spread out over a larger distance - then it becomes hard.

Merlin runs a hand along the flank of his horse and squints, his eyes hurting from the strain of the magic he's pumping into them to enhance his sight, he can feel the foreign magic and he gently rubs his own magic up against it until finally, in his mind's eye, he sees it.

He sighs in relief as he stares into the blue and red cord that was stretched thin. He'd thought he'd lost it in the brief distance they'd traveled from the castle it'd thinned dramatically and Merlin came to the conclusion that this was not going to be a quick trip.

He estimated the source was at least three weeks travel time away and that was if they didn't run into any trouble along the way, and they never didn't run into some kind of trouble along the way.

"I found it again."

Gwaine nods and falls into step behind Merlin's horse his own neighing softly. The woods are quiet, almost unnaturally so, with only the sounds of a morning lark to accompany them on their journey. Merlin frowned and tried not to think anything of it when the lark fell silent as well leaving nothing but the sounds of the horse's hooves beating against the mulch and the distant sound of running water behind.

* * *

 

Merlin leaned his head into his hand, eyes trained on the bright flames, orange around the edges but white in the center, they'd set up camp only when it became too dark to travel, Gwaine volunteering to take first watch. Merlin hadn't argued, and had instead taken care of the horses and their dinner - some dried vegetables and meat - after starting a fire.

He knew he should be using this time to sleep but his mind was far too active for that. Thoughts going a mile a minute and making him even more concerned about the situation he'd found himself in.

Arthur was unconscious and unable to rule and while Gwen was a good queen. A fair and just queen, she wasn't royal by birth and many nobles were uncomfortable with her at the mantle, it was something that Arthur himself had tried to eradicate from his council but -

But Merlin was worried about her, probably more than was necessary actually, she was Gwen, one of the strongest people he knew, but she was also stressed and she had Arthur to care for.

Merlin's brow furrowed and he absentmindedly flicked his wrist at the fire as a bird, his namesake, rose from the flames before diving back down again amongst the burning embers and pieces of wood.

Gwaine's eyes widened from his spot against a nearby tree but Merlin didn't notice. His mind to busy working though what he was beginning to call the Arthur problem.

Arthur. Merlin didn't know who he'd find at the end of this journey but he knew he had to get there. Failure wasn't an option not in this; he was the only one who could do this. Arthur's life was literally in the palm of his hand, and it was up to Merlin to keep the flickering flame that was Arthur from going out.

Merlin wouldn't let it go out.

And yet Arthur had sentenced him to death, hadn't cared that the flame that was Merlin would flicker and die. Somewhere there was irony in that but Merlin didn't care to find it. When it came down to it, if Arthur died then there was a possibility that Merlin could live. He could escape, start over somewhere new and safe where no one knew his name.

But if Arthur lived - Merlin would die.

And yet, here he was going off into who knows where for him.

He sighed. Sometimes he questioned if he was still sane after the last nine years. Sometimes he questioned if he should have ever even come to Camelot. It been hell, so much pain, so many people lost - his father, Freya, Lancelot, Elyan, and so many more, their ghosts haunting his dreams - so much blood on his hands. He'd done things he would regret 'til the end of his days.

But there'd been good times too, times when he was so thankful that he'd been sent to Camelot, times when Arthur was less of a prince and more of a friend, sunlit mornings spent picking flowers with Gwen and talking to Gwaine, times spent laughing with Gaius and times when he learned more about himself because he had to, and came out a better person.

He was who he was today because of Camelot and her people and - because of Arthur and Merlin had never been the kind of person who could turn away, he wasn't capable of ignoring someone else's pain - except when he had, and look where that had got them? Look at Morgana now - so he thinks, really there was never any doubt he'd do this. If this was to be his last act well -

Well death was supposed to be restful at the very least.

* * *

 

Gwaine sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It only took one week for things to go to hell. Literally one week. Now the king was under some kind of spell - again - Merlin had been accused of sorcery - again, although admittedly this time there was truth to it - and they were off on some hair brained adventure to try and fix things. Again.

So really he mused, it was a normal week in Camelot.

But Merlin, Merlin was worrying him. The man was quiet and withdrawn and Gwaine could almost see the wheels turning in Merlin's head and regardless of the magic, Merlin was still Merlin.

And Gwaine knew Merlin, or at least he'd thought he did.

Why hadn't Merlin told him? Gwaine wasn't like Arthur, he wouldn't have jumped and yelled threats of execution the first chance he got, he wouldn't have sent Merlin to the dungeons because Merlin is still Merlin, the clumsy kind man that had earned Gwaine's loyalty and refused to abuse it.

The man in question was leaning his head into his hands that sat on top of his knees until he was half curled up, while maintaining an upwards position.

And then Gwaine watched as the man flicked his wrist and a bird - of what kind he had no clue - burst from the flames, spring upwards until it suddenly did a turn and dove back into the flames, the fire rising slightly higher before settling back down.

Finally he could take the silence no longer.

"You should be trying to sleep."

Merlin looked up, blinking owlishly up at him before his head settled back into his palms and he resumed staring into the flames.

"Probably, but I can't sleep. Do you want me to take over?"

Gwaine shook his head, and then: "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't, it's not safe."

"I wouldn't have hurt you. Your Merlin, I couldn't -"

Merlin looked up again and even in the poor light of the fire Gwaine could see the small and utterly thankful smile on Merlin's lips.

"I know. But what I meant - is it wouldn't have been safe for you," and then, quieter. "Excluding Gaius and my mum, everyone who knows about my magic - they've died, it - people have died and I just - why would I want to endanger people when I'm used - "

Gwaine's stomach dropped.

"Your used to what, Merlin?"

"Hiding."

"Merlin..."

"I'm used to it. I've hidden all my life."

"All your life?"

And Merlin looked at him his eyes more intense then Gwaine had ever seen them. Like twin lapis lazuli's glinting in the fire light.

"I never chose this. I was born this way. Why would I choose to be hunted like - like an animal?"

"Oh, Merlin."

Nothing more is said, because, what else could be said?

* * *

 

They'd been traveling for a week when it finally happens. The danger that had been lurking all week finally swooped down on them in the form of a griffin.

The problem with the griffin is not actually the griffin though, he knows the spell to use, and with Gwaine's help it goes down easily the problem is what happens afterwards. They'd lost the horses in the scuffle and they were stranded a week journey on horse from the castle.

Which is why Merlin frowns and poses the question he does.

"Gwaine, how do you feel about dragons?"


	13. XIII

Gwaine waits a beat and then tilts his head to the side.

"So," he says, despite the odd look of contemplation in his eyes. "What else have you hidden from us, Merlin?" He doesn't mean for it to sound accusatory, but it does and Merlin doesn't look up, his eyes trained on the ground.

And then he does. "My father – he – there's a dragon – "

"You're trying to tell me that your father is a dragon? I don't belie-"

"No," Merlin says, closing his eyes and sighing, as if to ward against something. "No, no. He - he wasn't a dragon, he was a dragonlord, he was the last of his kind."

And then it dawns on him.

"You said was."

Merlin's eyes remain closed but he nods, "I did."

"He's dead?"

Another nod.

"So if he was the last of his kind then why are we even discussing dragons? Wouldn't we need a dragonlord to help us?"

"He's not the last one."

"Merlin! You just said he was the last of his kind - wait," Gwaine frowned, pieces falling into slots, like a well oiled machine. "You said was. As in, he was at one point the last of his kind. But he's dead – it passed to you?"

Merlin's nod is barely there and it's terse and strained but it's there and Gwaine whistles before sighing. He stepped forward and clasped Merlin's arm and stared him in the eyes before lowering his head.

"I'm sorry."

Merlin nodded again.

"S'alright, it was a long time ago, and I'm - I'm not okay with it, the way he died, what he went through before hand, how he had to hide because of who he was and how I never got to actually know him because of it. But it doesn't hurt like it did at first."

Gwaine nodded before taking a step back and nodding "Well then, call your dragon, do your dragonlord thingy."

Merlin snorted but nodded, throwing his head back and letting out a string of vowels that sounded like gibberish to Gwaine's ears mixed in with random words every three sentences, it was – strange, and kind of amazing as well, but – yeah, it was probably one of the strangest things he'd ever seen.

He would take that back when - after an hour of waiting - a great beast with intelligent golden eyes landed with an audible thud and tremor and actually bowed its head to the ground before Merlin. Merlin, who smiled slightly and bowed right back, a deep thing, his long arms nearly sweeping the ground.

"Kilgharrah. I'm sorry for calling you, I know -"

"Quiet, Young Warlock, I said I would serve you for as long as I can. Now, who have you brought with you?"

And - holy shit, Gwaine thought, it talks!

"Kilgharrah, Gwaine. Gwaine, Kilgharrah."

At that Gwaine thinks the great beast grins, his large scaly lips pulling back to reveal teeth - lots and lots of teeth. He tries to grin back – because, the drago – Kilgharrah is huge, and has lots, and lots of teeth – had he mentioned the teeth already?

"Ah, yes. The roguish knight. What interesting company you keep, Young Warlock. Still - he's very loyal, you've made the correct decision. He will be a great assist on your quest to save your king."

"So you know why I've called you?"

"Yes, Young Warlock. But I can't carry you all the way to your destination. There are some things you'll have to do on your own."

Merlin nodded.

"Thank you, Kilgharrah."

The great beast blinked then and lowered itself to the ground, settling on its great scaly forelimbs. Wings folding in. Merlin grinned and stepped forward, scrabbling up the dragon's side and settling himself on top. Gwaine shrugged his shoulders once, grabbed the bags that had fallen from the horses when they'd run, and followed.

"You'll love flying, Gwaine. There's nothing like it in this world."

* * *

* * *

 

 

Gwaine had never felt so glad to see solid ground in his life. Ever. He stumbled down the side of the beast, tripping over his own feet and almost falling, all the while Merlin - who was completely fine - flinted around picking up sticks and old pieces of wood, presumably for the fire.

Merlin had been so sure he'd love it, but Gwaine was already dreading climbing onto the creature's back once more. The dragon it's self had settled on the south side of the clearing, curling it's large wings around it's body and wrapping its tail, so that the great creature was curled nearly into a ball. He presumed that the creature was sleeping.

Gwaine sighed and bent down, picking up sticks, to help Merlin

After camp was set up the rest of the night passed in relative silence, Merlin wasn't talking, was nearly silent, and Gwaine didn't want to push him, especially after what he'd revealed about his father, because Gwaine knew from experience that you never healed from losing a parent, he knew that, he'd lost both his.

Merlin would talk; he just needed time, after all this whole experience couldn't have been easy for him. But for all that he was silent, Merlin wasn't inactive, he flinted around the camp sight, shoulders tense and he kept glancing at the creature, until finally it lifted it's great head, although it didn't shift it body, and looked at Merlin, something must have passed between the two because suddenly Merlin was much less tense.

He finally sat and picked at the salty stew they'd made of the dried meat from their saddlebags. Finally, after he'd eaten most of it and Gwaine had been finished for some time, Merlin stood and stretched, bones popping back into place. He sighed and turned to Gwaine.

"I'll take first watch."

Gwaine didn't argue - he wouldn't argue about sleep, he was tired and he was sure having a fire breathing creature on the south side of camp would scare off any bandits, besides. Merlin could protect himself, he thought dryly, had always been able too.

He was woken some time later by the insistent calling of his name. Sitting up he looked around the camp, everything was silent. Merlin was asleep up against a tree, snoring loud enough to wake the dead.

He frowned.

The voice had seemed loud, really loud actually, so wouldn't Merlin - who was normally woken if you dropped a pin - have woken as well? But no, Merlin was still snoring fit to wake the dead so -

"Gwaine!"

And - holy shit, that had been inside his head!

"Young Knight, I must speak with you."

Gwaine slowly turned then and found himself staring into large amber eyes. Years later, he would later deny how high he jumped at the sight. He would also deny asking not to be eaten. The dragon laughed - or what Gwaine assumed was laughter. Would have been laughter if it wasn't a damn dragon laughing at him. And wasn't that a surreal thought?

"Young knight, I promise not to eat you. Now please be quiet, this is a conversation that I'd rather not have the Young Warlock awake for."

Gwaine's brow creased.

"Why?"

"Because he must find out on his own."

Because that wasn't cryptic at all.

"Then why are you telling me? How do you know I won't just tell him anyway?"

The dragon actually laughed.

"I know you won't because you want to protect him."

Gwaine crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

"Fine, tell me."

The dragons head shifted into what appeared to be a nod, before his face seemed to tighten and his eyes seemed to glow impossibly bright.

"There are many things the Young Warlock doesn't know about himself. There are things he has always taken at face value and never looked deeper. Whether out of fear or nearsightedness, I do not know. You must understand Young Knight that when Uther started the purge he did more than just kill, he set forth a prophecy."

Gwaine swallowed, "what prophecy?"

"A prophecy about a king, but more importantly, one about a boy born with magic. A boy who is, was, and will be, meant for greatness. The king behind the king that doesn't want the crown because he fears what power can do, a boy with a knack for trouble and an even greater aversion to all things dark."

"Merlin, has prophecies written about him?"

"Do you doubt it?"

Gwaine looked back at the sleeping man, whose snores could be heard across camp. "No. I don't, not in the least."

"Good, he'll need that. You must remind the Young Warlock that he is human in the most basic sense, he thrives off of people. You must remind him that his magic, this life he lives, it isn't a curse. That being Emrys isn't a curse."

"Being Emrys?"

"That being himself is not a curse."

Gwaine swallowed.

"Who is Emrys?"

The dragon's eyes brightened until Gwaine had to look away because it hurt too much to look at them straight on.

"Emrys - Emrys, is the Young Warlock, or as you know him - Merlin."

Gwaine nodded and then: "What is Emrys?"

The dragon laughed inside Gwaine's mind.

"You are asking the right questions, Young Knight. Emrys is everything. Has always been everything, and always will be everything. He is made up of everything that holds the world together. He is magic, and always will be magic. He is very important Young Knight, so please, protect him. Safeguard him, because sometimes, I fear he will not do it for himself."

Gwaine can do nothing but nod all the while Merlin sleeps on.


	14. XIV: The Gate's of Avalon

Arthur is standing on a blurry shoreline - except it wasn't and the next it was, he shook his head frantically! What was this? He could hear water sloshing like the beat of the executioners drum and someone was panting and crying! He caught sight of dark hair - long - and pale skin and then it flashed again back to the shore -

Arthur finds himself in the forest.

He stares into the sunlight watching dust float in the shafts of light. It the exact opposite of the chaos of the previous scene and he shakes his head in confusion. It's tranquil, restive, and beautiful. The trees are large and all around him is green, it's a familiar sight – one that he's grown up knowing, but it's no less awe inspiring. A deer bounds past him and he watches as his younger self comes into sight, a crossbow in hand.

He blinks and in the moment that his eyes are closed Merlin appears, bumping into his younger self causing the bolt to misfire and to land itself solidly in the bark of a large – probably century old – maple tree, with a resounding thud.

Merlin merely blinks, and he finds himself snickering, over the years he'd learned that if he ever really wanted to get any true hunting done, then he had to leave Merlin back at the castle, the man was a clumsy as a newborn fawn and hated shooting large game, because he found it wasteful when it was often only the two of them.

But the younger him was still – young, he wouldn't know the things that Arthur now knew. Some of which he wished he didn't. The way the two of them were here - Merlin with a smile and his younger self exasperated but at peace the way he was only when with Merlin or Guinevere - was how it was meant to be.

"What is it?"

"You really are a total buffoon, aren't you, Merlin?"

Merlin blinked again.

"I was just asking?"

"Who? Me or the deer?! The deer we're supposed to be hunting….hunting, it requires speed, stealth and an agile mind."

Merlin smirked.

"So you're able to get by on two out of three, then?"

His younger self opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a scream – something that – oddly – wasn't a rare occurrence, he watched as his younger self snapped to attention, his head whipping in the direction of the ear piercing sound.

Merlin frowned, "What was that?"

"Quiet," his younger self hissed.

In the distance there was a faint cry for help and suddenly both Merlin and his younger self were springing into action their bodies blending into the forest and leaving Arthur with no choice but to run after the fading glint of chainmail and the brown of Merlin's jacket.

The two – plus the older Arthur – burst into a clearing were a bandit – dressed in shades of brown and with a hideously overgrown beard – was holding a sword to a man's neck while a young woman was viciously clawing at the arm of another while he held her by the waist tightly against him.

The scene changed, but not before Arthur recognized their faces. He groaned.

Arthur found himself in the council chambers while sunlight glinted down through the windows. Sophia and her father knelt before the throne, their heads bent. His father motioned for them to rise and they did, their spines snapping and their heads held high.

"My name is Aulfric, heir to Tir-Mor. This is my daughter, Princess Sophia."

"You're a long way from home. What brings you to Camelot?"

"Our home was sacked by raiders; we barely escaped with our lives. Everyone else – including my wife – was killed. We're the only survivors."

His father's brow creased.

"What will you do?"

"We travel west to Caerleon where we have family and, I hope, a new life."

"You must stay here awhile, break your journey. A noble family like yours is always welcome in Camelot."

The two nodded their heads while his younger self simply gazed at Sophia in a way that the older Arthur found disturbing. The scene changed and Arthur found himself watching his younger self pace the length of his chambers twice before rounding on Merlin.

"Make sure you put her in a decent room."

Merlin stared for a moment before replying, "The one next door is empty….."

"The one next door? Excellent. Excellent, in fact," his younger self frowned in annoyance. "Shut up before you start, Merlin."

If anything Merlin's grin got bigger.

"What? I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to. I want to make it clear that my intentions towards Sophia are completely honorable. Put her in the room on the other side of the castle. It's much warmer, it will be more comfortable."

"Of course. She…er….she's very beautiful."

His younger self grinned.

"Yes, she is. Very beautiful."

"And if your intentions are honorable…."

His younger self nodded, perhaps a bit too quickly.

"Oh, they are. Most definitely."

"Then what's the problem with her staying next door?"

"There isn't one, is there? You've convinced me. Put her in the room next to mine."

Merlin grinned.

The scene changed.

Arthur found himself in his chambers as morning light filtered in through the windows. His younger self paced the length of the room once before rounding on Merlin in much the same way he had in the previous memory.

"I'm taking Sophia out for a ride today. You know, show her around. Get her mind off things."

Merlin frowned. His brow and nose wrinkling, while his eyes narrowed in suspicion. He looked absolutely ready for anything - although, considering they regularly dealt with witches and various other bloodthirsty beasts, so perhaps it was justified.

"Where do I come into this?"

Arthur grinned.

"Well, I'm supposed to be on patrol with the guard of my father this morning, so I need you to cover for me."

"What, and lie to the King? No. No way. No, he'll see right through me. He'll have me in the stocks quicker than you can say rotten tomatoes."

Merlin was alarmed but his younger self seemed unconcerned. Camelot had always been slightly different, but still, servants were dealt with quickly and harshly they weren't allowed the same rights as a regular citizen was, it was something that had changed with his reign – he'd made sure servants had rights, because his citizens deserved better.

"Merlin….don't make me ask you nicely."

Merlin sighed and his younger self, seeing that he was winning the argument, spurred himself on, his face becoming something almost – damnit, he'd forgotten this, he'd manipulated Merlin, he'd known that if Merlin was caught lying there could be severe consequences, the stocks being the kindest of punishments, but he hadn't cared.

"I need you to do this for me."

"I'm a terrible liar you know, I start sweating…my vision – my vision blurs and my brain – it stops working completely."

"Well, no changer there, then. Look, I promised Sophia I'd take her out and if I don't turn up it'll blow my chances with her. She'd think I'm an ass."

Merlin smiled.

"Well it be best not to lie to the girl….still, you really like her, then?"

"Yeah. What's not to like? I want to spend some more time with her, but I need to get my father off my back. I can't order you to lie to the king, I can't make you….but if you did, then you'd be my friend for life."

He groaned, knowing what he know knew about Merlin, that had sealed the deal, he may have magic, but he was lonely, and Arthur had just used it against him, it was the highest of manipulations. To promise something like that – of course Merlin would have said yes.

"Go on, then, you don't want to keep her waiting on you."

His younger self grinned.

"I won't forget it, Merlin."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself watching Morgana pace in front of the large window that took up a good portion of the wall in her chambers. It looked out towards the forest and he watched the red of his cloak fade off into the distance. Guinevere stepped forward then.

"You're sure it's her."

Morgana whirled on Guinevere all red silk and black hair, Guinevere smiled slightly and placed her hand on Morgana's shoulder, the other coming up to stroke Morgana's cheek, it was then that he noticed how pale Morgana was, how terrified she looked.

"I could never forget that face."

"You should speak to the king. If you really believe that Arthur is in danger."

"And tell him – tell him what? That I can see the future, that it terrifies me but I think this time it could save – I can't Gwen, you know how he'd react."

"Morgana – you're his ward, he loves you, and he wouldn't harm you."

"He hates magic more than he could ever care for me," Morgana grimaced, her face one of pain and fear and perhaps a little bit of hate.

"That's not true."

"Would you care to put it to the test, I'm sure flames would be a lovely color on me."

Guinevere sighed, and Arthur wondered, what would his father have done, Morgana's betrayal had broken him, but Arthur couldn't recall him calling for her execution simply because of her magic, he hadn't heard it, and perhaps that had been his father's greatest achievement that he'd overcome his hate to see his daughter clearly, for all her faults and all her strengths.

"But what else can you do?"

"I'm going to have to try and stop her myself."

The scene changed.

Arthur found himself in his chambers again; Merlin sat cross legged on Arthur's bed a pile of armor at his feet and a rag in his hands. He was humming and Arthur found himself smiling – Merlin was many things but a singer was not one of them.

Merlin fell backwards when the door flew open, his father storming in.

"Where is my son?"

Merlin looked frightened for one moment before he began to babble.

"I'm not sure where he is, I – erm, I think – that is – I think there has been a mistake. But its not his fault, Arthur's, I mean."

Uther sighed in irritation.

"Stop gibbering and tell me where he is."

"it's probably….no, it's definitely my fault."

"Where is Arthur?!"

"He's not here."

"I can see that."

"Arthur wasn't sure of his orders, so he asked me to check with the guards to see if he was riding out this morning and…well…I may have forgotten to."

Uther frowned his whole face hardening.

"You forgot?"

"I-I'm sorry, My Lord, I am sure he would have been her had I told him?"

"If this was a time of war, I would have you flogged. I still have half a mind to."

"But, since it's not – not a time of war I mean, will you let it go, just this once?"

The scene changed and Arthur groaned as he caught sight of Merlin in the stocks. The scene changed again and Arthur found himself in Gaius's chambers as Merlin came in covered in what appeared to several different kinds of rotten food.

Gaius looked up.

"Have you been playing with your food again?"

Merlin groaned.

"The King put me in the stocks."

"What'd you do this time?"

Merlin bent down and picked up a pale filled with water before making his way across the room, "why do you always assume it's something I did? Nothing, honestly, It wasn't my fault, Arthur wanted to get out of going on patrol with Uther and the guard, so I covered for him and took the blame."

"And Arthur was prepared to let you do this?"

"It was his idea."

Merlin ducked his head into a bowel and came up gasping, his face and hair dripping but now free of the tint of rotten food.

"And what made him neglect his duties? It must've been something terribly important."

Merlin smiled, "Sophia."

"The girl from the forest?"

"He wanted to take her out for the day," Merlin's grin got even brighter. "He's totally and utterly besotted."

"But they've only just met!"

"I know," replied Merlin flinging a bit of food from his hair. "I guess it must have been love at first sight." Gaius nodded slowly. "Yes…I suppose it must be."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself standing behind Merlin as the man threw open the double doors to Arthur's chambers.

"You're dressed!"

His younger self turned, his face one of dry humor.

"Nothing gets past you, does it, Merlin?"

Merlin walked farther in, grapping pieces of armor as he went.

"Well come on then, we've got to get you into this! Your father's bestowing a knighthood on one of your men this morning."

"I'm not going."

Merlin's brow furrowed, dark eyebrows drawing together.

"Won't the King mind?"

"Not if you cover for me, again. By the way, thanks for yesterday, I heard you ended up in the stocks, bad luck." Merlin frowned and rubbed his head, "They were throwing potatoes at me! It's only supposed to be rotten fruit!"

"I'm not sure there are any hard-and-fast rules, Merlin. But if it's any consolation, I think it was worth it." Merlin grinned, "What? It went well?"

"Great, fantastic. She's absolutely incredible."

Merlin sighed, dopey smile still in place, "don't worry. I'll find a way to get you out of it."

"Just make sure you don't end up in the stocks this time, I don't think your brain can afford too many more knocks."

"I won't."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself once again in Gaius's chambers as Merlin burst through the door covered in rotten fruit, "you would think that the appeal of pelting the same person with fruit would wear off after a while, but, oh no!"

"Not again Merlin, surely?" then, "I heard that Arthur wasn't at the knighting ceremony."

"Yeah, he wanted to make the most of his time left with Sophia."

"So you helped him?"

"I'm his servant, I had to."

Gaius sighed and handed Merlin a bowel of water and a cloth. "You shouldn't have don't that, Merlin. I fear that Sophia may not be all that she seems."

"Why?"

Gaius stood.

"What do you know about seers?"

"Not much. I know that they're supposed to be able to see the future. I know that it's one gift I am glad I don't have."

Gaius nodded.

"It's said to be an innate ability. Those who have it are born that way. Some aren't even aware that what they see is the future. It comes to them in their dreams."

Merlin frowned, "What's that got to do with Sophia?"

"The night that Aulfric came to Camelot, Morgana, she had a dream. Sophia was in it."

Merlin looked surprised, his jaw slackening, "Before she arrived in Camelot?"

"I've been watching Morgana since she was very young. And though I tried to persuade myself otherwise, I realized that some of the things she said she'd dreamt came to pass. I kept it secret from Uther and Morgana, of course. The gift of prophecy is too close to the work of magic."

And suddenly, Morgana's hate, it made a little bit more sense to Arthur, to have something like that hidden from you, he remembered Morgana's nightmares – except they weren't just that apparently – how terrified she would get, how she would cry.

To have something like that hidden from you. Arthur isn't sure how he would react if it had been him. The Pendragon temper was legendary after all for a reason.

"You think Morgana is a seer?"

"I don't think it – I fear it. Morgana said she dreamt that Sophia killed Arthur."

"Couldn't that have been a dream? Maybe the woman – she just looked like Sophia."

"That's what I hoped. But Aulfric caught me in Sophia's room and, in a flash of anger, his eyes changed color."

Merlin frowned.

"Who are they?""

"It's not who they are that worries me. It's what they want with Arthur."

The scene changed Arthur found himself standing behind Merlin who was hiding behind a tree. Not the most ingenious hiding spot, but it worked. A stick cracked and Arthur found his eyes drawn to the lake shore beyond the treeline.

Aulfric was there. His breathing fast and panicked.

"I seek an audience with the Sidhe elders! Dotiag-sa ar idbairt do denam!"

Nothing happened, or at least nothing happened that Arthur could see, but Merlin gasped and smiled and Arthur knew he was missing something big. It was the first time he'd ever actually wished that he had magic.

Aulfric fell to his knees, "I come before you to plead for the chance to win passage back to Avalon and a life of immortality!"

The wind whistled and Merlin gasped. Aulfric bowed his head.

"The crime was mine, not my daughters; do not punish her for my actions."

Aulfric laughed.

"Thank you! Thank you! An immortal life for my daughter is all that I desire, so I promise you the soul fo the greatest prince of all. Arthur Pendragon!"

Well – fuck.

The scene changed.

Arthur found himself back in Gaius's chambers the smell of the forest still lingering in his nose. Gaius paced back and forth.

"Avalon. What you saw at the lake, it's Avalon…it must be…"

"What's…."

But Gaius ignored him.

"The land of eternal youth. Mortals are only allowed to glimpse it the moment before their death."

"Well, I've seen it and I'm still here."

"Extraordinary….what did it look like?"

Merlin threw his hands up into the air.

"Does it matter? They're going to sacrifice Arthur and we don't even know who 'they' are yet!"

"We do now," Gaius sat down at the desk before motioning for Merlin to follow. "I found writing like this on the top of Aulfric's staff. It's Ogham, an ancient script. Abas ocus Bithe. Duthectad bithlane. To hold like and death in your hands. From the writing on his staff and what you saw at the lake, I'm afraid I'm now certain. We're dealing with the Sidhe."

"That does not sound like a good thing."

"It's not. They're masters of enchantment."

Merlin frowned, "You think Arthur's been enchanted?"

Gaius only nodded.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in his chambers as his younger self paced back and forth throwing random articles of clothing into a bag, like a petty child running away. Which – Arthur supposed – he was being.

He remembered very little after meeting his father in the council's chambers and announcing his plans to marry Sophia, but what he did, well they weren't the most flattering, he'd been a royal prat, spell or not.

"I thought the King was a bit harsh."

His younger self whirled his lips pulled back in a snarl, "Get. Out. I don't need sympathy, Merlin, especially from you."

Merlin ignored him, "But I did think he had a point."

His younger self growled, "I ordered you to get out. Now leave me!"

"I know what you think you're doing, and I know you think you're in love with Sophia…."

The younger Arthur growled. "Who are you to tell me what I'm thinking?"

"I'm your friend!"

"No, Merlin. You're my servant."

The younger Arrthur slung the pack over his shoulder and Merlin grabbed his arm but Arthur threw him off with a rough shove. The doors were thrown open then and Sophia strode in followed closely behind by Aulfric.

"See? I told you people would try to keep us apart."

His younger self flinted to her side, his arm coming to rest around her waist, his hand settling on her hip, "I know, but I won't let that happen."

Merlin threw his hand up into the air, "Look, don't listen to her, she's controlling you! They're magical creatures; they're going to sacrifice you tonight so that Sophia can be immortal once again!"

"It doesn't make sense, I – we're in love!"

"Look at the writing on the staff!"

Merlin lunged for the staff but Aulfric's eyes flashed red.

"Look at his eyes Arthur! Do you believe me now?"

His younger self turned, his eyes glowing like rubies.

"I see everything."

Merlin lunged then but Aulfric was too fast, "Na mben sis!" Merlin flew backwards his back colliding with the wall and his head fell to meet his chest and he fell, the only movement being the slow rise and fall of his chest.

The scene changed.

Gaius was helping Merlin to stand the boy's head rolling to the side, his pupils blown. Merlin stumbled and Gaius struggled to support him before the boy finally righted himself. Merlin groaned. "Aulfric. Where's Arthur! I have got to go after him. What's that buzzing noise?"

Gaius frowned.

"Careful Merlin, you can barely stand up."

"I have to go!"

"You can't, Merlin. You're in no shape! You owe it to your powers that you survived this at all."

"I'll be fine, he needs me."

Gaius sighed.

"…has the buzzing stopped?"

Merlin swayed.

"Yeah."

"Liar."

"I have to go, Gaius. He'll die if I don't!"

Gaius sighed.

"The Sidhe are vicious people. You must be careful."

Merlin nodded. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

Both Arthur and Gaius sighed when Merlin began to walk towards the open window.

"Merlin?" he gestured towards the door, "this way."

"Yes – right just testing you."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself on the lake shore once more, in the distance he could hear chanting and he spun around just as Merlin broke through the last tree, Merlin who, wasted no time, throwing his arm out Merlin spoke.

"Onbregdan."

Aulfric's staff came souring into Merlin's hand then and Merlin ran before pointing the staff at Aulfric. "Swilte, gold beorp!" he screamed and as if by the magic it was a bolt of light shot from the staff hitting Aulfric and with a high pitched squeal that had Arthur covering his ears he was gone.

Merlin whirled around and pointed the staff at Sophia then, repeating the process before running straight into the lake, Arthur followed then, stopping at the edge, watching as Merlin dove under coming up with his younger self in his arms.

The scene changed.


	15. XV: The Beginning of the End

Arthur found himself in the crowded streets of Camelot, the people milling around him in sweeps of skirts and rustles of tunic shirts. It was a normal day and he frowned in concentration, while he was aware – now – how unobservant he could be, he couldn't figure out what was so important about a regular day in the streets of Camelot.

People where buying produce and trinkets from street venders, dressed in their everyday clothes, dresses and tunics and hooded cloaks – wait, he turned his attention from the rest, zeroing in on the two cloaked figures, one smaller, clothed in a distinctive turquoise, Arthur watched, feeling his stomach sink.

Because this was the boy he'd rescued, this was the one he'd betrayed in the worst way, killing his love – despite it being necessary - knowing how it would feel if someone had killed his Guinevere, the gut deep revulsion such a thought brought.

He watched as they approached the stall and he watched as the man called the guards, he saw the terror flash across the older druids face and then they were running a guard slashing at the child's arm, causing him to scream.

But then Arthur stopped, because that scream – it hadn't been verbal. That – that had sounded like it was in his head, resounding in his ears. But he didn't have time to consider it because he was quickly losing sight of the two figures.

They'd reached the castle grounds now and Arthur hurried to catch up, not wanting to be left behind, the man – Mordred's father – cast a spell and dashed onto the drawbridge, hunching himself over as if to shield the child from everything and anything.

Arthur thinks this is a real father, and he is reminded of his own, a flawed man, but one that loved Arthur in the end. The older druid muttered a final spell and forced the child farther onto the bridge and as the gates closed he allowed himself to be caught.

The scene shifted and Arthur found himself standing behind Merlin who was calmly strolling through the courtyard, whistling under his breath, his hair sticking up in unruly tuffs and his clothes beyond wrinkled as if he'd slept in them, the idiot looked like he'd just rolled out of bed.

Still – he looked happy in a way Arthur hadn't seen in awhile. He wonders if that is partly is own fault.

"Help!"

Merlin startled, stopping, and swung his head around wildly, but he found no one, and Arthur could see the exact moment he wrote it off as a fluke, only for the Mordred to speak again. "Help me, please!" Merlin spun this time and spotted the small huddled form in the corner of the square.

"Please. You have to help me."

The guards burst into the square and Arthur could see Mordred jump even from a distance.

"Search in there. Take the other side. You, did you see a boy run in here?"

Merlin frowned and then – although his lips did not move – he spoke.

Well – well, fuck. Arthur can think of nothing more eloquent.

"Who are you?"

"They're searching for me!"

"Why are they after you?"

"Please, they'll kill me!"

The guards bust open a door and Merlin jumps before a look that Arthur knew well passed across his pale visage. He nodded once to Mordred, motioning with his arms for the child to come towards him, Mordred does, hurrying across the courtyard his arm clutched close to his chest.

And then they're off Arthur close behind. He follows the two up the stairs and through the castle, the clatter of the guard's feet behind them, a chorus to the frantic dash the two dark haired figures in front of him were making.

Merlin and the child rounded the corner and dashed into Morgana's old rooms. Or – he supposed – in these memories – her current rooms. The woman herself turned, a necklace clutched at her chest, the ends dangling in the air, slowly swaying.

"Merlin, have you forgotten how to knock?"

Merlin himself gaped, seemingly lost for words before he gestured to the child who stood in front of him with his too wide eyes and pale face. Morgana's eyes softened when they landed on the boy, her whole face changing.

Morgana had always been like that, able to change at the drop of a hat, when she was your friend she was a fierce ally, but when she was your enemy – he wished he never knew what it was like to be her enemy. She was a terror, a threat, someone to be feared.

"The guards are after him. I didn't know where to go – what to do."

There was a fierce thundering of feet outside the chamber door.

"My Lady, My Lady?"

"In there," she says gesturing to a curtain, Merlin nods and ushers the boy backwards and behind the dark cloth, his sister waited until they were both hidden before striding across the room and opening the door, her face a mask of calm questioning.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, My Lady. We're searching for a young Druid boy. We believe he came this way."

Morgana cocked her head to the side.

"I haven't seen anyone. It's just me and my maid," she said gesturing to his frozen queen, who looked nowhere near as calm as Morgana herself did.

Guinevere was like Merlin – or at least, how he'd perceived Merlin to be – she'd never been meant for anything other than complete honesty – it had been something she'd struggled with in the beginning of her rein at his side, she couldn't understand that sometimes lying was necessary. She could not fall into a role and play it like Morgana could – or perhaps even like Merlin, because, out of the ten years he'd known the man – how much had been real, and how much had been acting a part?

The man at the door nodded.

"Best keep the door locked till we find him."

"Of course, thank you."

The door shut and she turned in a whirl of pretty fabric and was at Merlin's side. Merlin who was cradling the child in his arms, his hand dark with Mordred's blood.

The scene changed, and Arthur found himself still inside Morgana's chambers, although there were marked differences. For one the air seemed to vibrate with tension, Merlin and Morgana stood next to the large window, looking out at the courtyard. The two were stone-faced and silent, the child – Mordred lay on a small cot, light eyes staring up into nothing.

Arthur advanced upon the two figures by the window and looked out, his heart sinking, the execution of Mordred's father, of course. He winced as he took in Merlin's pale face and the tightening in the corners of Morgana's eyes.

"People of Camelot, the man before you has been found guilty of using enchantments and magic, under our law, the sentence for this crime is death. We're still searching for his accomplice. Anyone found harboring the boy is guilty of conspiracy, and will be executed as a traitor. Let this serve as a warning to your people."

Arthur winced again, his father sounded so – callous, like the man before him was nothing but a bug to be crushed because of how unsightly it was, like his life had meant nothing. Perhaps, that was how his father had viewed those with magic – like bugs.

Morgana turned her mouth a tight line, "I can't watch this." She sunk to the floor next to the small cot, cradling Mordred in her arms, running her hands through the dark waves of his hair. She was so – maternal, this was the softest he can remember seeing her in years, even before her – betrayal.

Had she been already changing before her magic began to show itself? What if it was not the magic that did this – because Morgana herself had even told him that, but he hadn't believed her - what if it had been them? What if it was Camelot that had twisted her?

Or worse, what if it had been him and his father – their father?

Suddenly the silence was shattered by an ear piercing yell, "No!" Mordred screams, tears streaming down his cheeks, Morgana's ornate mirror cracking in almost slow motion and shattering into thousands of tiny, glittering shards.

The scene changed once more and Arthur found himself within the physician's chambers, the herbal sent that permeated the air inside invading his nose. There was a clatter and Arthur turned to see Merlin and Gaius sitting down at the table, open books spread out around them.

"Do you know much about the Druids?"

"Very little. They're a very secretive people. Especially now they're being hunted by Uther. Merlin, please tell me you haven't got yourself mixed up in this."

Merlin looks down and for someone who had lived with a secret as large as – well, as large as magic, for the whole of his life he appears to be terrible at keeping something a secret, it was slightly baffling to say the least.

"Me? No. Mixed up in what?"

Gaius sighed.

"For someone with such a big secret, you are a terrible liar."

"Well, I haven't done anything."

"Merlin…."

"I heard the boy calling out. He was nowhere to be seen, but I could hear him – like he was inside my head."

"Yes, I've heard of this ability. Telepathy. The Druids look for children with such gifts to serve as apprentices. While they're searching for this boy, you must be especially careful otherwise it'll be your head on the chopping block."

"I'm always careful. You know me."

Gaius stared for a moment, before shaking his head, a move that spoke of fond exasperation.

"Yes, unfortunately I do."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself once again within Morgana's chambers. The woman herself was pacing back and forth, her mouth turned down in a frown while her eyes where shadowed by deep dark circles that spoke of a sleepless night. Merlin slipped in and he appeared to go unnoticed until he cleared his throat and Morgana whirled around.

"How is he," he questioned, if anything Morgana's frown became more pronounced before she answered. "He's sleeping. He's very pale. I worry he may have lost a lot of blood." Merlin nodded slowly before he posed another question.

"Has he said anything at all?"

"Nothing. He won't even tell me his name."

Merlin sighed and nodded and there was silence for a moment before Merlin smiled hesitantly. "You know – er – for a moment there earlier, I – I thought you were going to hand us over to the guards."

Morgana glared, "I'm glad you have so much faith in me, Merlin."

Merlin shook his head frantically. "No, no, sorry. Erm – I meant, you're the King's ward. You're taking a huge risk helping the boy."

Morgana frowned, her eyes drifting towards where the child lay behind the curtain, she sighed. "I would not see an innocent child executed. What harm has he ever done anyone?"

Merlin nodded something in his eyes.

"Uther believes he has magic, and that makes him guilty."

He – he was needling her, he wanted to know her views, Arthur realized. He was considering. No, he obviously didn't, he knew that Morgana – the Morgana of the present – would have used it against him, to try and turn him against Merlin, and it was with a little bit of shame that he realized that it would have worked.

"Uther's wrong."

"You believe that?"

"What if magic isn't something you choose? What if it chooses you? – why are you looking at me like that?"

Merlin – who had previously been gaping at the woman, his eyes wide and a hesitant light having token root in the blue pools – looked down before he sighed. "I – nothing, I didn't mean anything by it." She stared at him for a moment before she nodded and returned to her pacing.

She paused.

"Why are you helping him?"

Merlin hesitates, and Arthur can only speculate the real reason, but he thinks it's because Merlin see's a little of himself in this poor unfortunate child. Morgana's watching Merlin intently now and Merlin seems to wilt under the scrutiny.

"It was a spur of the moment decision," he finally says, a small sigh escaping his lips. "What do you think we should do with him? He surely can't stay here, not when their hunting him like this."

Morgana nods and then, "We have to get him back to his people."

The scene changes and Arthur finds him staring at the small pale boy as Merlin bent over him, his hand on the boys forehead before he moved it down to the child's flushed cheeks. Merlin twisted at the waist and stared up at a pale Morgana, who was wringing her hands.

"He's burning up. How long has he been like this?"

"Since early morning, I think the wound may be infected. We need Gaius before it gets any worse."

Merlin shook his head fast, "No. We can't involve Gaius. It's too dangerous. Besides, if he finds out about this, he'll execute me himself."

Morgana shook her head.

"We need to get him out of Camelot, and we can't do that while he's sick. We need a physician."

Merlin pierced his lips together.

"I'll – I'll treat him."

Morgana looked skeptical, and for a good reason, while Merlin had become a good physician under Gaius's skilled teaching – it hadn't happened yet during the time when Mordred was first in Camelot, and while – from what Arthur understood – it was what Merlin had been sent to Camelot for, to be an apprentice, it had only been in the last few years that Merlin had actually seemed to take an interest in it.

"Merlin, do you know how to treat an infected wound?"

Merlin shook his head, "not exactly, but I'm a fast learner."

There was the sound of footsteps and then a knock on the door, Merlin and Morgana shared a look before Morgana closed the curtain, concealing both Merlin and the child. The woman stood there a moment and before his very eyes a mask fell over her features. Finally she breathed in and out once before opening the door with an easy smile.

"Arthur! To what do I owe this pleasure?"

His younger self frowned in annoyance.

"Don't get all excited. It's not a social call. I'm looking for the Druid boy and I'm afraid I'm going to have to search you chambers."

His sister certainly was a brilliant actress, not the barest hint of concern flashed across her features only perfectly placed annoyance.

"You are not searching my chambers!"

His younger self sighed in exasperation, no idea at that point that he was being had.

"Don't take it personally. I have to search the entire castle. It'll only take a few minutes."

Morgana shook her head.

"I'm not having you mess up my things!"

His younger self just looked exasperated.

"I'm not interested in your things, I'm just looking for any evidence that the druid boy's in the castle."

There was a sharp intake of breath behind him and he turned to see Merlin sticking his head out from behind the curtain and Arthur followed his gaze to the pair of child size boots that were sitting innocently in the middle of the floor.

The confrontation between his younger self played out in the background but Arthur ignored it, he'd experienced that himself, but he hadn't seen this, had missed what was going on right in front of him quite literally.

These glimpses into Merlin's life were something that he should take advantage of, because – perhaps he'd acted rashly? He wasn't so sure if executing Merlin would be a wise decision anymore, not when the man had appeared to have done nothing against the crown let alone against Arthur himself. It was still early – and he was sure there was much he still didn't know – but this was something he was going to take advantage of to make a more – informed decision.

Merlin's eyes flashed and slowly the boots crept forward.

"If you can't even find your own servant, what hope do you have of finding the boy?"

There was a whispered spell and the boots stopped their journey.

"Really, I'm touched by the confidence you have in my abilities. And, as much as I'd love to stay and talk, the sooner we get started, the sooner we'll be finished."

The boots began their journey again – and dear god, this was ridiculous; it was truly a wonder that he or Morgana hadn't noticed what was literally going on behind their backs. Finally Merlin reached out and grabbed the boots and the curtain fell back to conceal the two males once more.

"Well, I'll save you the trouble."

"Trust me, if I could find him, I would."

"The druid boy's hiding behind the screen. I'm sure your father would love to know how you wasted you time by rifling through my things," then, with a mocking red mouthed smile she finished. "Go on."

"So you can have the satisfaction of making me look a fool?"

She laughed.

"In my experience, you don't need any help looking like a fool. What are you waiting for? Take a look."

His younger self threw his hands up in the air and – with a look of frustrated disgust – drawled, "why don't you go back to brushing your hair, or whatever it is that you do all day?" Morgana smiled. "Bye, Arthur. Good luck with the search!"

The scene changed.

Arthur found himself in Morgana's chambers once more as Merlin came through the two double doors with a handful of colorful bottles. Morgana stood, her face a mask of worry, her lip bloody from being bitten far too hard.

"What took you so long?"

"Sorry. Once Gaius gets talking about anatomy, there really is no stopping him."

Arthur is mildly annoyed that he didn't get to see the look on Merlin's face as Gaius most likely lectured on unaware of anything other than what he was saying and that Merlin was still sitting where he could still hear.

Merlin bent down next to the child and peeled back the dressing they must have placed on the wound, the child flinched and Morgana startled before turning to Merlin, a concerned and slightly angry look upon her face.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Merlin sighed, trying to apply some strange goop to the wound. "I'm doing the best I can. Morgana could you – " he nodded towards the half full bucket of water that sat on the floor next to the cot, and while Arthur was reasonably sure that he really didn't need more water, and while he was sure Morgana knew that – she nodded and picked the pale up.

"Thank you, Emrys."

Merlin looked horribly startled as the scene changed and Arthur found himself in the cave were the dragon had once resided, it was an – ominous space without the beast there taking up space, it was just a dark chasm, the ground falling away to cliffs.

Suddenly the space was alight though and Merlin was standing at the cliff's edge a lighted torch in his hand. He looked around and he must have found it was unsettling as Arthur because he called out rather quickly his voice tentative.

"Hello?"

It was silent – and then it wasn't – the dragon climbing around the corner and roaring in Merlin's face. Merlin for his part only startled slightly, before he sighed, shaking his head while the creature seemed despondent that it hadn't gotten a better reaction.

"Do you have to do that? You scared the life out of me!"

The creature perked up at that.

"The Young Warlock. No doubt you're here about the druid boy."

Merlin nodded. "How did you know?"

"I hear him speak as well. As do any with a drop of true magic in their blood. Like you, Young Warlock. Like me."

"Why does he call me Emrys?"

The beast looked perplexed at that, "Because it is your name."

Merlin frowned.

"I'm pretty sure my name's Merlin, always have been."

The dragon blinked.

"You have many names. Emrys, Ambrosius. Merlin is only the name given to you at birth."

"Do I? How does the boy know who I am? I've never even met any Druids."

The dragon chuckled, a deep rumbling sound.

"There is much written about you that you have yet to read."

Merlin looked startled, even a bit afraid. Arthur frowned why would that scare Merlin? But then it struck him – Merlin truly didn't want any attention, he couldn't understand why anything would be written about him. But then – either did Arthur.

He knew that if anyone was to hear him say such a thing it would be looked at as rude – but he truly didn't mean it that way. Emrys? Ambrosius? These were things Arthur had never heard before, excluding Morgana's wild ravings. He couldn't seem to separate the Merlin he knew and this figure that was – apparently – written about.

It was frightening to think that he didn't know anything about Merlin or about even – as the dragon had said once – their apparent shared destiny. He had heard Merlin call him strange things – like Once and Future King – but he didn't understand what it meant. Had laughed at it even, but what if there was more to it than that?

"You should not protect this boy."

Merlin looked angry at that.

"Why? He's a child! He has magic – he's just like me!"

The dragon growled at that, "You and the boy are different as day and night."

"What do you mean?"

"Heed my words, Merlin."

Merlin shook his head.

"Why should I not protect him?!"

But the creature didn't answer, he turned and flew, his wings flapping and Merlin's frustrated yells being the only sound in the lonely cave.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself back in Morgana's chambers. And – despite the tense atmosphere that was immediately evident – he was grateful for the bright and airy air in the rooms after the dank of the catacombs were the dragon resided.

Morgana knelt next to the child a wet clothe in her hand and was mopping at the boys head who twisted about in feverish terror. His queen knelt down next to the worried woman and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Let me care for him for a while. You need to sleep. You'll make yourself sick f you go on like this."

"His fever's getting worse!"

Guinevere frowned at the frantic note in her mistresses' voice.

"Morgana."

His sister startled.

"Did you hear that?"

Guinevere frowned. "What? I didn't hear anything."

Morgana turned a smile painted on ruby lips.

"He said my name."

"Did he? I – I didn't hear anything."

There was a knock on the door and Guinevere stood and moved across the room before she cracked the door and sighed, "It's Merlin." Morgana nodded and when Guinevere had just stood there Morgana motioned with her hand as his queen smiled sheepishly and opened the door.

Merlin rushed in, his face pale and his eyes deeply shadowed as if he hadn't slept and his whole mannerism was worried.

"How is he?"

"He's getting weaker. Whatever you did yesterday, it hasn't worked!" She looked terrified. "We have to ask Gaius for his help. After all you've done, you can't give up now! Please, if he doesn't receive treatment, he'll die!"

She sounded close to tears and Merlin nodded once.

"Okay, okay. I'll go talk to him."

The scene changed and Merlin stood in the middle of the chambers that he shared with Gaius – while the man himself puttered around gathering potions and placing them in his leather bag. Merlin frowned and then –

"The search for this Druid boy is becoming a real nuisance. With all the extra security around the castle, it's taking me twice as long to do my round. Is that everything?"

"Morgana's hiding the Druid boy in her chambers."

Gaius turned slowly and when he spoke he didn't sound surprised, but he did sound worried and yes – angry.

"When you say that Morgana's hiding the Druid boy, I take that means that you're helping her?"

"…Sort of."

"Merlin, you promised me that you wouldn't get involved."

Merlin sighed.

"I know I did. I'm sorry. I had no choice."

Gaius threw his hands into the air. "Every guard in Camelot is searching for this boy, and you're harboring him under their very noses. Can't you see how dangerous that is? What were you thinking of?"

Merlin glared his eyes fierce and steely.

"Was I supposed to hand him over to the guards to be executed? He's a child!"

"You think you can save this boy? What happens if you're caught? Who's going to save you?"

Merlin was quiet and he lowered his head and Gaius thinking he'd won the argument turned and walked to the opposite side of the room, but Merlin stood then and spoke and Gaius froze.

"You're saying it's wrong to harbor a young magician?"

Gaius turned then, "The difference is, Merlin. That you magic is still a secret. Though it's a wonder how considering how carless you are."

Merlin shook his head. "The boy – he's hurt. He's really sick. I've tried to treat him. We need your help."

Gaius shook his head, incredulous, "So – now you want me to risk my neck, too? I wish the boy no harm, but it's too dangerous."

"But if you don't, we may as well hand him over to the guards, because he'll die anyway. You didn't turn your back on me. Please don't turn your back on him."

Gaius sighed and finally he nodded.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself once again in Morgana's chambers as Gaius bent over the boy while Merlin, Morgana, and Guinevere stood to the side, their faces anxious. Finally, Gaius stood a deep frown on his face.

"I will treat the boy, but as soon as he's well, you must get him out of Camelot. But if you're caught – well god pray you're not – I – " he sighed, as he took in the three pale and anxious faces. "Well I suppose one thing's for certain I haven't made a physician out of you yet, Merlin."

The scene shifted and Arthur found himself in the town square as Merlin, Morgana, and Guinevere watched the guards searching a cart as the annoyed owner watched on. Merlin frowned his hands coming together in a worried gesture.

His queen laid a hand on his shoulder.

"The guards are searching everyone leaving the town."

Merlin nodded, his hands still twisting together. Arthur saw the moment the idea came to him, his hands stilling as he spoke, his voice hesitant. "There is – another way out. There's a secret door in the armory that I'm not supposed to know about. It leads to the lower town. I'll take the boy out that way."

Morgana shook her head.

"No. It's too dangerous. I'll – I'll do it."

That was the old Morgana – the brave woman he'd known, he missed her. This was hard – to see her here and know what she would become. It's – painful. He wished so much to save her, wished so much that he believed there was something left in her to save.

"But I – I'm good with secret doors and – things."

"If you are caught, Uther – he will execute you, the boy's – he's my responsibility. I'll smuggle him out of the castle."

"Well – you'll need a key for the door."

"Who has it?"

"Arthur."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in his own chambers as Merlin stood behind his younger self who appeared to be eating – he peered over his younger selves shoulder – soup, a nervous look on his face before he muttered a spell and his set of keys floated off of his belt and up into the air behind his head.

Arthur turned, "Is there any bread?"

The keys stilled just out of his younger selves' sight, clinking together with an audible sound.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"There was a sound."

"Was there?"

The keys floated behind his younger self's' head as he stood and began to look for the source.

"What is that? Can't you hear it?!"

Merlin shook his head.

"I can't hear anything."

"Are you deaf? It's like a – it's like a jangling sound."

"There!" Merlin pointed and his younger self whirled as Merlin's eyes flashed and the keys dropped into the soup that sat on the table.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"A different sound like a – like a splash."

Merlin whirled then and seeing a loaf of bread held it out to the man who only shook his head and wandered towards his bed chamber, knocking his head against his hand. Merlin watched him go before fishing the keys out of the soup and slipping them into the pocket of his pants.

The scene shifted and Arthur found himself once more in Morgana's chambers. Morgana paced back and forth shifting dressed in peasant clothes before she threw a cloak over her shoulders and sighed, "It'll have to do." Then, turning to his queen, "I feel I've put you in danger without ever stopping to ask how you feel about it. I'm sorry."

Guinevere sighed, a bittersweet smile twisting her lips, "I know how it feels to face the threat of execution, and – I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

And it was – sad, terrible, to know that she would know it again.

There was knocking and then, "it's me."

Guinevere smiled and opened the door as Morgana gathered the silent child close to her breast and made her way, her face a mask of determination that Arthur was sure wasn't a farce and he was – sorry? He wasn't sure, that he knew she would fail – or at least this time.

The child was trembling though and Morgana smiled down at him. "We're going to get you out of Camelot. I won't let anything bad happen to you. You're safe, I promise."

Merlin cleared his throat, "Are you read?"

There was no hesitation, she nodded.

"Did you get the keys?"

"Yeah, err – the door is behind the shield at the far end of the armory. Be careful."

She nodded, and his queen flinted about, "I'll pack you some food and water for the journey," and then as if seconding Merlin's statement. "Be careful."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself outside the modest home that Guinevere and her father had shared at the time – and that know belonged to Gaius, who enjoyed being closer to his patients and whom enjoyed the quiet when he wasn't out and about in the surrounding villages, doing what he enjoyed best, helping people.

There was loud toll of a bell and then Merlin turned to Guinevere who had stood next to him silently.

"They're coming, we don't have much time."

There was the sound of feet pounding on the dirt and then Morgana and Mordred ran in, hair windblown and breathless. Guinevere handed a pack to Morgana her hands lingering on her mistresses with a worried look.

"There's enough food for three days," and then, Merlin piped up. "Your horse is fed and watered – I'll take you to her."

"No – I can't let you – there's no point in all of us risking our lives."

"What – what about you?"

She smiled, all brave eyes and black curls, "I'm the King's ward. I'll take my chances."

His queen looked shocked, "Morgana!"

She shook her head violently, "I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to either of you. I – we – must go."

And then, though the child was still silent, he locked eyes with Merlin and Arthur heard his message clear as day.

"Goodbye, Emrys."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself standing before his furious father as Morgana, still dressed in peasant clothes, glared at the man and his younger self – stood between them looking completely lost as what to do – and he hadn't known.

Because he'd believed the child to be innocent, he still saw Mordred as just that – an innocent, perhaps he was wrong about that but he didn't care, he'd cared for Mordred and still did. Despite what happened he saw Mordred as a child still – unable to merge the angry and distraught man with this child who must have been so frightened.

His father paced.

"All this time, you've been hiding the boy in my own palace. How could you betray me like this?"

Morgana glared her eyes fierce.

"I would not see a child executed."

Uther laughed bitterly like this was a personal betrayal and not a human being trying to protect another human being, because that was what it was wasn't it? He shook his head, "I've treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?"

"I did what I thought was right," and he – he hadn't remembered how close she had sounded to tears.

"You think its right to conspire against the crown, to conspire with my enemies against me?"

Morgana then echoed his thoughts at the time. "How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy," and she sounded so close to begging, something so against her character that he was struck once more with how much she'd cared for this child.

"He is a Druid."

And that was the final thing for his father wasn't it? Despite – as he now knew – not all Druids being magical, and always seeming so peaceful.

"Is that such a crime?"

His kind would see me dead and this kingdom returned to anarchy and you would help them."

Morgana shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes and her hand clutched close to her chest in a passionate display.

Then – please, punish me – but spare the boy. I beg it of you."

Uther shook his head and glared at her before turning to his – thus far, silent son. His younger self was frowning, and he'd been so confused, but he'd nodded.

"No, please! He's done nothing to harm you!"

Uther ignored the woman.

"Let this be a lesson to you."

"You don't have to do this!"

Uther turned to Arthur then, "Do you hear me? I want him executed at dawn!"

"Yes, Father."

And then his younger self turned and left – but the memory wasn't done yet because, Morgana whirled and glared, the tears that had threatened to overflow now streaming down her cheeks.

"What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?"

His father tried to walk away – but Morgana grabbed his arm and pulled and although she'd only succeeded in moving the man a step it enraged Uther and he whirled on her and grabbed her throat, pressing her back into the chair hard enough that surely she must have received bruises.

"Enough! I will not hear another word! Do not speak to me until you are ready to apologize for what you've done."

Uther left then – and Morgana fell to the ground, her hand around loosely holding her neck, but it was in her eyes – she looked devastated, as if some image she'd previously held had just been shattered, and perhaps – this was when the true rift began to from between their father and his daughter, when she'd sat on the ground after being attacked and looked like her whole world had been shattered in a moment.

The scene shifted and he found himself in his own chambers as Morgana paced about as if waiting – ah yes, ok than. He remembered this as well. Morgana though, she looked more nervous then he remembered her being, this was the Morgana people weren't allowed to see he supposed.

"Make yourself at home."

His younger self drawled and she whirled a mask up in the blink of an eye. She cleared her throat and yes he didn't doubt it hurt because she winced and when she did speak it was in a quiet rasp that somehow – he remembered – seemed to be more compelling than anything else.

"You can't let your father's execute him."

"You're lucky he's not executing you. Are you telling me he really was behind the screen when I came to search you chambers?"

Her lips quirked up a bit and she nodded.

"I know you, Arthur. I know you believe he's wrong to execute a child."

His younger self sighed then, "What I believe doesn't matter. My father's made up his mind. He won't be talked out of it. I tried, Morgana, I did."

"Then – I suppose the time for talking's over."

Arthur shook his head.

"Whatever you're thinking, it's not going to happen."

"We have to get him back to his people."

"I can't believe you'd let an innocent child die!"

Morgana screamed something at him but it was cut off as the scene abruptly shifted and Arthur found himself staring at Merlin. Merlin who was watching a man sharpen an axe.

He was white – and he looked like he hadn't slept, like he would be ill, like he wanted to retch but couldn't, like he was past the point where he felt physically sick and it had sunken deeper than that. Into his bone, into his soul.

Merlin leaned his head against the wall, and Arthur wished for only a moment that he could be seen, if only it was so – so that Merlin wouldn't look like that.

There was the rustling of fabric and Arthur turned, noticing his queen before Merlin did. Merlin who just walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, and he held on like she was a lifeline. Guinevere merely wrapped her arms around him for a moment before she patted his back and he backed up, she smiled hesitantly.

"Come we – we have work."

Merlin nodded once and they parted, Merlin looked steadier now, but he still looked like he was to be ill. Arthur wondered if he was seeing himself in the boys shoes. Merlin pushed the doors to Arthur's own chambers open and –

Yes, ok. It made sense now why Merlin had looked so happy – if a bit cautious – when he'd found out their plan.

"Sorry. Was I interrupting something?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with. Go make yourself useful, muck out my horses – "

But Morgana interrupted, "I trust Merlin."

"We're going to break the Druid boy out of the dungeons."

"You can't do that – how are you going to do that? Isn't this a bit rushed?"

But yes, there was the hesitant hope.

"Uther's only been delayed by the rain. He's going to execute him at dawn, there is no time. "

"I mean – it's too dangerous! You've already been caught once, and if the King catches you a second time he'll never forgive you."

"I'm not worried for myself.

"Merlin – he is right. When my father finds out the boy's escaped, he will suspect you being involved."

"It's suicide."

"You must go to my father and apologize. Dine with him; he cannot hold you responsible if you're with him when the boy escapes."

"You need me if the plan's to work. You can't do this on your own."

"Merlin will take your place."

Merlin frowned, "Me?"

"I'm going to take the boy out through the burial vaults. There's a tunnel that leads beyond the city walls. Get my horse from the stables and meet me there. There's a grate that covers the entrance to the tunnel. Bring a rope and grappling hook to pull it off. "

No – No, I can't –"

"Merlin, do you understand? If you're not there to meet us, we'll surely be caught."

Merlin nodded.

The scene changed and Arthur found himself once again in the dragon's cave, as Merlin stood before the beast, his face hesitant, like two things are warring inside him. Fighting for dominance.

"I – I need to know why you told me not to protect the boy."

The dragon growled.

"You seek my counsel, and – yet, you choose to ignore it."

"Just, please – please, please, tell me why!"

"If the boy lives, you cannot fulfill your destiny."

"What's he got to do with my destiny? You said it's my destiny to protect Arthur, not the boy's."

"Then – It appears, you have the answer you seek."

Oh – oh – oh – oh. If he – it – was implying what he thought it was implying – it made sense the way Merlin had acted about Mordred. Almost everything, from almost not coming to – to the cold shoulders and glares and inability to trust.

"You're telling me that little boy is going to kill Arthur?"

"It seems that is up to you."

"No, please, he's a child! You can't know that for certain."

The dragon stared at him for a moment before it seemed to sigh, letting out a large breathe of warm air that even in this memory – Arthur could feel.

"You, Young Warlock, have it in your power to stop a great evil. You should choose to take it."

Merlin shook his head, "There must be another way! The future it isn't set in stone!"

The dragon gave him an almost pitying look before saying his parting words, "you must let the boy die, if Arthur is to live."

Oh – oh – oh – oh. It made sense. So much sense, and he should be scared – but he's not because Mordred was a boy then, and now he is still a boy – a hurt little boy now – and damn it – perhaps it will be his own downfall but he can't stop seeing him this child. You – you don't kill children. You do everything in your power to prevent them from dying, everything you can to protect them.

And, as the shifted, Arthur watched Merlin's shields break down as he heard the boy cry, as he lay on his bed. Saw the look on Merlin's face, saw the way the boy was so conflicted, and he saw Merlin break because he couldn't not help this child.

But – oh, it made sense now.

"Emrys. Emrys. Where are you, Emrys? Emrys. Help us. Please! They're coming."

"I'm scared, Emrys. They will kill me. Don't do this. Don't ignore me. I know you can hear me. I thought you were my friend. We're the same. I don't want to die! Emrys! Emrys! Emrys!"

"Goodbye, Emrys. I know we'll meet again."

The scene shifted and Arthur found himself staring at the boy and his younger self as the Druid's embraced their own, their child. But he remembered he wouldn't have let him leave – not without even knowing the child's name.

"It's all right."

And at the time he hadn't thought he'd see him again, but –

"My name is Mordred."

And – oh dear god, he can't hate this child.

"Good Luck, Mordred."


	16. XVI

Gwaine, really, really, really, truly hates flying.

It is not exhilarating, it is sickening, and he doesn't understand how Merlin is so comfortable amongst the clouds. He hypothesizes that perhaps it is because he is a dragonlord, but he has no way of knowing if this was something that was in his blood, or, if this was just another hidden nuance to the dark haired man.

Still, as disorientating as he still found flight, he was becoming slightly more used to it. He wasn't nearly as comfortable as Merlin who let go and threw his arms into the air when there was a particularly strong upper current, but he was comfortable enough to begin to actually enjoy the sights he was seeing.

None the less once he realized he was probably not going to fall to his death, he could actually notice his surroundings for the first time. It was – certainly beautiful, traveling over lakes, and marshes, and forests. He could certainly see the draw of it if he was slightly more comfortable with having his feet off of the ground.

The bugs in the teeth could wear on you fast, though.

They were flying over a marsh at the moment, the ground below patchy with faint green and the murky green-blue of algae infested waters. They'd surely left even the outskirts of Camelot by know and were in areas that bandits and mercenaries probably wouldn't even enter.

They were uncharted and wild and something beautiful.

Merlin was farther up conversing with the creature in the deep and guttural language that was the dragon tongue, ever so often he'd catch a random snatch of conversation that seemed to be in a tongue he could understand, but it wasn't nearly often enough for him to grasp what they were speaking about.

He shifted his hands from where they were gripping rough and warm scales; at least he needn't worry about freezing his hands off, although that was probably the least of their concerns at the moment.

Problem number one, they were on a journey to who knows where on the back of a dragon. The dragon, Gwaine supposed, wasn't truly the problem, the problem was how people seeing said creature would react, because, you know, they were supposed to have been wiped from the face of the earth, or at least the continent, which for many people might as well have been the world, many years ago.

Problem number two, the king was currently incapacitated and a queen that the council still did not trust was ruling in his place. Guinevere was an amazing woman, and the first few years of her reign had hardened her to the ploys of old men way past their usefulness, but it was still a concern of how long she could rule before something had to give.

He hoped they returned before something had to.

Problem number three, even when they returned home with the person who cast the spell that incapacitated the king, there was no guarantee that Merlin would survive longer than it would take to build a fire to burn him on.

Gwaine wouldn't let that happen.

Not only because Merlin was his friend, one of his truest and first, but the dragons words from two nights before still caused him endless amounts of puzzlement. Merlin had prophecies written about him. Ok. He could deal with that. That was probably – well he couldn't say it wasn't a shock, because it had been a shock.

But it was easier to believe when he was conversing with dragons.

But the dragon had said he was everything. Which could be a large exaggeration or it could be truth. What were the implications of killing something that drastically important? Gwaine pretty much figured that it couldn't be anything good.

Truly, he thinks, even if he didn't want to save him for personal reasons, he would save him because that sounded ominous as all hell.

"Gwaine," he looked up. "Yes?"

"Brace yourself, we're going to descend."

Well, he didn't need any more prompting than that. He held on for dear life, and closed his eyes tight. Around him the world spiraled down and forwards and upwards all at once. The wind intensified tenfold and he clenched his teeth tightly and –

They landed with a solid and resounding thud inside a clearing, it was a tight fit, the great beast taking up most of the available room, nearly taking out several tall trees when it swiped it's large tale up around its legs hind quarters and laid it's great head on the ground.

There was enough room for a fire at least, which was a blessing, unless they wished to have to sleep up against the reptilian creature, which, while Gwaine was sure it would generate enough heat to keep them plenty warm, Gwaine wasn't sure he was comfortable with such a feat.

He sighed.

"How much of that meat do we have left, Merlin?"

There was the sound of miscellaneous items clunking and clinking together and then, "enough. For tonight at least, but I'm not sure about tomorrow." Gwaine nodded and set to gathering wood, however he frowned when he found no actual dry wood.

Venturing into the trees, he set about a more thorough search, but found that even the wood on the trees was soaked, despite the heavy leaf covering of the upper branches that he'd hoped would stop the lower branches that were at more – manageable heights from getting wet.

They might just have to sleep up against the dragon, this forest was simply too wet to make for good wood. He sighed and gathered the least wet pieces he could find and headed back, the whole venture taking him perhaps about half an hour.

It was better than nothing. Perhaps Merlin could do something about the wood.

Entering the clearing, he frowned when he found Merlin stroking the scales along the creatures back, in this light and at this distance the creature looked – somewhat diminished, less of the mighty beast he looked like up close – and more tired.

He wondered how much of a burden carrying them was, the creature had indicated two nights before that he was old, older than Gwaine could perceive, and for the first time he could see something human in the way he slumped.

At the core of every creature on this earth, he supposed, there is something searching for companionship. How lonely it must be, to know, that when you die – so does your species.

It was frightening how much he could sympathize with this creature that wasn't so far away from Gwaine himself.

"Merlin," he said finally even though he was fairly sure both man and dragon already knew he was there. "The wood is two wet, I gathered what I could, but I doubt it'll light."

Merlin frowned, crossing the clearing in a few, determined, bounds. Before taking a armful of the wood and placing it in the center of the area not dominated by the dragon, "place it here, please" Gwaine raises an eyebrow but complied and watched as Merlin knelt next to the pile, eyes flaring gold as a marry flame engulfed the wood and a small, but reasonably good fire came to life.

"Mate, did you do that every time?"

Merlin chuckled.

"Not every time, that would have looked a little to fishy, especially when it was outright raining, but, yeah, this is easy."

He frowns, and thinks of how useful such a skill would be to have in ones arsenal, and sits down upon the ground, Merlin following moments later.

"Could you teach me?"

Merlin looked at him for a moment, almost like he was sizing up his chances of avoiding the question, but upon realizing how serious Gwaine was, licked his lips and nodded once, the motion slightly jerky and uncontrolled.

"Yeah, I think. I've never taught anyone, but I think I could. Fire isn't too hard, though it is the hardest of the elementals, but it's not the worst spell to learn, especially when you use words to focus the magic, I imagine I could. Maybe."

But Merlin looked incredibly hesitant, and Gwaine remembered him saying he'd never had to learn the way normal people did, and Gwaine was in no way like Merlin. So, okay, maybe this wasn't one of his most thought out plans.

But what a useful skill being able to create fire would be, people had accused Gwaine of being greedy before and while he was hard-pressed to agree with them, because he was in no way about the material – what a skill making fire would be, to keep you warm, to cook food upon, but more importantly it could be a weapon that could save lives.

Moral absolutism and all that, it wasn't his thing, greed wasn't always a bad thing. He thought that he could afford to be greedy about this.

"Look, Mate. I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do – but if you can teach me, I want to learn."

Merlin nodded but frowned.

"I can't teach you how to focus you aura, or how to manipulate it."

Gwaine nodded and Merlin looked sheepish in the orange glint of the fire.

"I never had to learn this, it was something I could always do, Gwaine, I don't – I don't know how to teach you how to."

"So, I'll figure it out on my own."

Merlin huffed a laugh.

"It's not quite that simple."

Gwaine grinned.

"I know, but if you can see it, you can believe it, and all that."

And then,

"What does it feel like?"

Merlin frowned in concentration, before smiling slightly.

"Warm, it feels warm. But that's all magic – fire, it feels powerful, you can't tame it, you have to work with it instead. But you can't be afraid of it–when I was little I – " he flicked his wrist and a flame burst into life in his hand as his eyes faded back to blue – "I nearly burnt down me and my Mum's hut and burnt myself because I was scared of it."

Gwaine really wanted to pretend that helped him, but it really didn't. Still, it was probably the best description he was going to get. Merlin, he thought with a grin, was still slightly bumbling, just a more powerful version.

"What do I have to do?"

"Clear you head, and focus, you have to feel it, feel the heat and the power, think of the color, blue in the center and yellow and gold and orange as you go away. Concentrate on creating a small ball of power in the center of your palm. Feel it build and when you release say 'æledfýr'."

Gwaine tried, long into night, long after Merlin himself retired. His palm stayed bare.


	17. XVII: Excalibur

Arthur found himself amongst a chattering crowd.

Frowning he pushed himself to the front and looked upon his younger self's grave face. This was – yes. Okay, he remembered this and he fought down the smile that threatened to break out onto his face. This was when he'd been crowned the crown prince.

He – had it really been all that long ago? It seemed like it hadn't, but it had been, hadn't it? It'd been nearly a decade since this day. This day – he'd been looking forward to it since he'd been young, the day he'd finally in the eyes of the court be able to take the throne.

Ha! Suddenly the smile he'd fought and failed to hide fell from his face. his younger self didn't know what he was getting himself into.

"Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of this kingdom and its dominions according to the statutes, customs, and laws laid down by your forebears? Do you promise to exercise mercy and justice in your deeds and judgments?"

"I do, Sire."

Do you promise to exercise mercy and justice in your deeds and judgments?"

"I do, Sire."

"And do you swear allegiance to Camelot, now and for as long as you shall live?"

"I, Arthur Pendragon, do pledge life and limb to your service and to the protection of the kingdom and its peoples."

"Now being of age and the heir apparent, from henceforth, you shall be Crown Prince of Camelot."

The crowd erupted into shouts and cheers and Arthur's eyes found Merlin in the crowd, his queen standing by his side, their arms interlocked, and smiles on their faces.

"So, how does it feel to be servant to the Crown Prince of Camelot?"

Merlin snorted softly, the smile not falling from his lips. He looked soft almost, his eyes crinkling at the corners, it was a good look on him, happy that is, Guinevere elbowed his side and Merlin's eyes lit up with mirth.

"Washing his royal socks will be even more of a privilege then it was before."

Guinevere scoffed.

"Oh, stop it. You're proud of him, really. Even though you complain about him constantly, you're proud of the man he's become. I'm proud too, he's changed so much in such little time."

"You're wrong, I'm not proud. What do I have to be proud about?"

She smiled and elbowed him again.

"You are. I can see it in your face when you look at him. It's all in your eyes."

"Those socks are very clean! They're good socks, of course I'm proud of them."

She laughed, her face happy and blissful, a look that rapidly changed as the Black Knight burst through the window, glass exploding inward as the people screamed and brought their arms up to cover their faces from the glittering sharp shards. The knights

The room was light with activity, as the dismounted and strode forward, the knights rushed to surround his father whose eyes were fearful and fixed upon the crest that adorned the knight, Gaius, who now stood beside Merlin, was doing the same.

Even some of the older retired knights were shooting each other wary looks.

The knight threw down the gauntlet with a heavy clunk against the floor. A young man, who would be dead very soon, picked it up with a victorious smile and the scene changed.

Arthur found himself in Morgana's chambers. Guinevere was perched at the foot of the bed, a brush in hand and several hair ornaments in her lap as her Lady, her hair wild, paced back and forth in front of his younger self, who was slumped down in a chair, the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers.

"He shouldn't have picked up the gauntlet!"

Morgana gave him an incredulous look, "So? Put an end to it. You know it was meant for you and you know he isn't ready for this kind of fight, he's still barely out of his childhood!"

" He is a knight," his younger self says fast, he remembers having taken it as an offence to his training but it wasn't and he saw that now, she'd been worried for Owen. "The challenge has been taken up. The fight cannot be stopped."

Morgana snorts.

Morgana who had always had such a soft spot for children, who'd always claimed that she couldn't connect with them, but who would protect them with all she had. Morgana who has always been so distrustful of the old ways and could never understand the way Arthur held to them. Someday, he tells his younger self, someday you'll learn that the old ways aren't as important as a man's life. It wouldn't save Owen, but it would others. He finds some comfort in that.

As for his sister, he tries not to think about her because perhaps finally, with his commoner knights and maid Queen and all that he'd renounced during his rule, he would have made the old Morgana proud, but he would never know and that hurts.

"Fight in his place then he will die if he fights."

His younger self sighs, heavy and long.

"I can't. You know that, Morgana. Owen picked up the gauntlet. Owen is the one who must fight. That is the Knight's Code. He knew that when he picked it up."

"He's going to die, you know that right?"

His younger self nods.

"I know that."

The scene shifts.

Arthur finds himself surrounded by stacks of musty old books. It smelt like old paper and sandalwood and the only light came from three flickering candles. Arthur walked around the back table where Geofrey was bent over a large, dusty, tome.

"Geofrey?"

The old man streghtened as Gaius came to stand beside him.

"Gaiu,s thank god."

"You know why I'm here?"

"The black knight, I presume?"

"So it is he?"

The Geofrey sank into a chair beside the table, his head coming to rest in the palm's of his hands. Gaius laid a hand upon his back however he didn't stop his line of questioning, time, he must feel was running out.

"You saw his crest?"

Gaius nodded once, and upon realizing that Geofrey could not see the action said, "indeed, is it he? Have you confirmed it?"

Geofrey sighed, the old chair creaking beneath him as he pushed himself upwards. He pointed with one old and gnarled hand to an elaborate crest of twisted knots upon which sat a white phoenix that was printed with care upon the old and slightly yellowing page.

"See the white phoenix? That's the crest of the De Bois family, but the knots underneath? That's Tristan de Bois's signature touch. He caused quite a stir with that one, changing the crest like that."

De Bois? Arthur thinks. That was his mother's family. He closes his eyes, how should he feel? He doesn't know, so much of his adulthood had been spent learning things about his family, learning secrets and being scarred by them. What is one more scar? One more to add to the list? Bitter, he thinks, but more than that resigned. Did Merlin know and never tell this too?

Gaius sighed, "And he is the only knight ever to have carried such a crest?"

"Yes, according to the records."

Gauis nodded, his eyes falling closed briefly with a weary sigh as the scene changed. Arthur found himself standing next to his father who was slumped down against the shining stone on the stairs that led up to his throne.

His sword sat in front of him, shiny and sharp and it made Arthur slightly uncomfortable to see the way his father just stared right on through it. There was a knock on the double doors and his father briefly reached forward to grab his sword only to retract his hand when it was only Gaius who walked through them. Gaius came to a stop in front of the King and stood there for a moment. Finally, sick of the silence in the same way that Arthur himself sometimes found himself feeling, he spoke.

"Yes."

Gaius cleared his throat once and then, "I'm sorry to disturb you, Sire."

"What is it?"

"You saw the crest too, Sire. You know where we've seen it before. The Knight, the stranger. He bears the crest of Tristan de Bois." His father sighed and ran his hands through his graying locks, before nodding once.

"Yes."

Gaius lowered himself until he sat beside his father, they looked like old friends in that moment and less like king and vassal, he had wondered before – though never asked – about the relationship between his father and Gaius, he'd even once compared it to the relationship he and Merlin seemed to share.

Clearly he'd been correct. History – it would seem, did in fact repeat. He wondered about the lack of bitterness in this, how it seemed to be replaced with a bone-deep tiredness.

"But he's been dead for twenty years now."

His father looked down at the shining metal, his eyes closing briefly.

"I know. I was the one who slayed him. My wives brother."

An uncle then, the guilt in his fathers voice didn't quite sooth the ache.

"But how do you explain – "

His father stood, "Dead men do not return." He was gone in the next instant, leaving Gaius to sigh and slowly follow him out.

The scene shifted.

Arthur found his younger self on the tournament field, with a young man who was still very much a boy, who was trying ever so hard to not show how scared he was in the face of who he perceived as his better. He imagined the cheers and the gawking of the people in the stands wasn't helping him either, he remembers thinking them like vultures, sitting and waiting to watch a young man barely out of childhood die.

No matter how much good there was in humanity there was still times that it disgusted him.

His younger self lay a hand upon Owen's shoulder, "This won't be like fighting me, Owen. You've never fought in mortal combat before. It's different. It's not like the training exercises."

Owen gulped and nodded once, "yeah I know."

Arthur remembered thinking, no he doesn't get it. Not yet anyway, though he's beginning to.

"Listen to me. The problem isn't you, the problem is that we've never seen him fight. Everyone fights differently and you don't know what kind of fighter he is. You have got to be able to get a measure on his style and then adapt."

Owen nodded once and Merlin, who up until this point had stood off to the side, moved to double check some of the buckles on the armor, before nodding once at Arthur, and he remembers seeing such anger there and he'd once mistaken it to be aimed at him. Had believed that Merlin was gunning for him to fight in Owen's stead.

But Arthur thinks now it was something else, Merlin with his rather – unique skill set could have saved Owen.

But Merlin wasn't able to use it.

"But – but I will have the same advantage, yes? He has never seen me fight either."

His younger self nodded, "true."

"You've watched me though."

"Yes."

"And," Owen prompted. He remembers thinking, 'my gut tells me you won't survive this and I've learned to trust that, and I don't want to lie to you, not if you don't survive this' and thoughts like, 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have to fight.'

"And I know no one braver. But – remember, all it takes to kill a man is one well-aimed blow. Don't be afraid to dodge instead of outright attacking, wear him down that way, it takes more energy to attack then to dodge, there is no shame in it."

His younger self turned briefly away to talk to Merlin about – something he can't recall now, only to turn back around at the nervous "Um," to find a fidgeting Guinevere bent in a nervous curtsie before Owen, her dark curls falling into her face, she brushed them away before offering the previously hidden scarf to Owen.

"The lady Morgana asked me to give you this token. She wishes that you wear it for luck."

Owen smiled at her, plucking it from her hand, before gently handing it back to her. It was red, red as newly drawn blood, he remembers, Morgana it would seem, he remembers thinking, was still trying to get him to fight in Owen's place.

"You can thank her for me, but tell her I shall not wear it, I don't need luck."

"Oh, um, please my Lady insisted that you wear it. Even if you don't wear it openly."

Guinevere handed it back to him, Owen considered it for a moment before stuffing it down under the heavy armor.

"Are you ready?" his younger self asked and Owen nodded.

His younger self nodded and sighed.

"Let us go then."

The final march towards the stadium is nearly silent, only the heavy clank of Owen's feet and the sound of their breathing to accompany them. If they'd thought the chatter and jeers where loud from where they'd stood before then it was three times that as they entered to find the black kni – his uncle already waiting.

"The fight," his younger self said. "Shall be to the knight's rules! To the death!"

His younger self slid into the stands, next to his father and Morgana, Guinevere standing behind her. Merlin followed him, his gaze upon his younger self's back, hard and heavy. Fire could, after all burn blue.

"Let the battle commence!"

Arthur turned then, he didn't need to see someone he'd trained die twice after all. Instead he watched Merlin. Merlin who was pale and angry and had made a point of not questioning Arthur's judgment on this – because he'd known, as Merlin had known, from the beginning that that gauntlet had been meant for Arthur – but who wasn't without opinion.

Merlin, he remembered, who didn't like to hunt for sport because it was senseless killing.

Arthur saw it in Merlin's eyes the moment Owen was killed. He remembers the throwing down of the gauntlet, trying to vault over the barrier but being stopped by his father, Sir Pellinor taking up the challenge, he didn't need to see it again. Merlin's wide blue eyes were the last thing he saw before the scene warped.

Arthur found himself following behind Gaius and Merlin as the slunk through the hallways.

"Gaius –"

"Not now, Merlin."

"But – "

"Be quiet, not yet. I will talk later."

"Gaius – "

"Be quiet, Merlin!"

Merlin grabbed Gaius shoulder then and Gaius whirled around, he looked frustrated, yes but it was the underlying fear that he saw that struck Arthur, but Merlin didn't seem to see it. Merlin looked worried, biting his lip, but there was frustration in his eyes too, a hard glint that made them like blue fire.

"I – he just killed Owen but shouldn't we be tending to his wounds? He took a hit."

Gaius frowned.

"Owen didn't land a blow."

"No, I saw it. The sword definitely pierced him."

Gaius's frown deepened as he lay a hand on top of Merlin's left shoulder, his eyes serious.

"Are you sure?"

"I – ah, slowed the fight down? A bit?"

Did anyone see you?" Merlin stiffened and looked around before turning his eyes back to Gaius, he shook his head. Gaius sighed and looked upwards muttering under his breath for a moment before instantly sobering.

"I have a suspicion, Merlin. But I need you to be sure. Are you sure you saw Owen land a hit?"

"I saw it. He should be dead."

Gaius muttered under his breath before turning leaving a helpless Merlin to follow behind him. The scene shifted and Arthur found himself standing next to a long object that, after some brief fumbling and eye adjusting that he recognized as the tomb of his grandfather.

He tried not to look to the empty spot where is father would lie.

He heard them before he saw them, a heavy door slamming closed behind them.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?"

There was a faint breathy laugh, "You aren't scared, are you?"

They rounded the corner, just as Merlin laughed shakily, "No, of course not. I love old crypts. I wouldn't be seen dead anywhere else."

Gaius ignored him and his– well really it was just a terrible pun. Really it was just bad! - attempt at humor in favor of trying to inspect the names that lay upon the different tombs. It had been hard for Arthur's own eyes so he imagined Gaius was fairing no better if not probably worse."

The problem was solved as Merlin grabbed a torch from the wall and lit it without a thought. Amazing, Arthur shock his head, that he'd survived into Arthur's own rule really, at least some of his apparent thoughtless idiocy hadn't been an act.

"Huh," Gaius said voice dry. "Handy."

Merlin, well, he just ignored him.

They walked until they reached the back where less important people would be entombed before slowing to examine each grave closely. Merlin shifted uneasily, the torch in his hand, as Gaius bent down over each grave.

"What are we looking for?"

"I – bring your torch that way," Gaius gestured towards the far wall and Merlin complied.

"We're not breaking into someone's grave, are we?"

Gaius shook his head as he approached the open tomb, the slab pushed halfway off and the sides towards where the feet would lie all broken down into rubble. There was quite obviously no bones, which there should have been after twenty years. Long enough for all that's left to be bones, but not long enough for bone to become dust.

"No. We won't have to. We're too late. I think – well someone isn't here anymore."

Merlin looked on, his face lit only by the torch light.

"Come, Merlin. We've seen all we need to see here."

Gaius turned then and began to go in the opposite direction, Merlin hesitated, looking at the stone and rubble, before finally turning and following Gaius. Arthur was left watching the retreating light, before he was swept away.

Arthur found himself in Gaius's chamber, said man sat heavily in a chair, his shoulders slumped, he looked defeated, but more to the point he looked worried. Merlin paced in front of the older man his hands never seeming to stay still, his lip between his teeth.

Sir Pellinor would die tomorrow, Merlin didn't know that, but he must have suspected.

Finally Merlin stopped and seemed to draw up, his shoulders coming back, he stared at Gaius. Merlin wasn't waiting for Gaius, he wanted answers now. Gaius must have seen this, because he nodded at Merlin.

"Tristan de Bois. That was whose tomb that was. He was Ygraine's brother."

Merlin's brows drew together.

"I've heard that name before. But everyone is always so nervous – who is she?"

"Was. She was Uther's wife."

"Arthur's mother?"

Gaius sighed and motioned for Merlin to pull a nearby stool up. Merlin did, the sound of wood against stone, a sort of heavy scraping permeated the air before Merlin settled himself down, his head bent to the side in open curiosity.

"Ygraine died in childbirth. Tristan was heartbroken, we all were, but she had been his little sister and they'd always been close."

"He blamed Uther?"

"Yes. He came to the gates and challenged the King, and heartbroken himself and more than a little angry at the world, Uther accepted. I think he may have hoped to die, but it wasn't Uther that died. With his dying breath Tristan cursed Camelot, he said that one day he'd return and make sure that the kingdom and Uther suffered. I thought it the ramblings of a dying man."

"Dead men don't rise up out of the grave. I don't care how angry they are."

Gaius nodded, pulling a book from a nearby table he flipped through the fragile pages. For a moment there was nothing but the unsynchronized breathing of the two men and the rustle of paper before Gaius made a noise in the back of his throat.

"Well?" Merlin questioned.

"It's my guess that we're dealing with a wraith."

Merlin pierced his lips together, "A wraith?" He asked.

"The spirit of a dead man conjured from the grave."

"So this is the work of a sorcerer?"

Gaius nodded.

"Powerful magic can harness the grief and rage of a tormented soul and make it live again."

"How do we stop it?"

Gaius sighed, closing the book with a snap. "We can't stop it. It's not alive, no mortal weapon can kill it."

Merlin shook his head.

"Surely there must be something?"

"Nothing I can think of. He won't stop until the goal he came to achieve is achieved."

"And what's that?"

"Revenge."

"On Camelot, yes? What does that mean for Sir Pellinor?"

"I'm afraid it doesn't look good."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself in the same chambers, but there was sunlight streaming through the windows and onto the piles of books that sat upon every available surface, it looked peaceful actually.

The two men who were in the chamber, however. Well, they looked anything but peaceful. Merlin was pacing once more, but his hands were in his hair and he looked panicked. Gaius wasn't pacing, but he wasn't sitting calmly either, he stood next to a spare cot furiously flipping through a book.

"We all saw it this time. You were right."

Gaius sighed, looking up from his book.

"I wish I wasn't."

Gaius sat the book down on a nearby table and came to stand in front of Merlin.

"He is Camelot's strongest warrior, if anyone can defeat it, he can."

"You said yourself no mortal weapon can kill it. Which means we have to find a way to defeat the wraith ourselves."

Gaius sighed, as if to say 'your optimism is nice, but not entirely based in reality' before speaking in actuality, "How do you propose to do that?"

"if no mortal sword will kill it, then I will. My magic has to be good for something."

Merlin turned then and was up the stairs and into his room in a matter of moments, coming back down moments later with a brown book that Arthur was becoming increasingly familiar with.

"Merlin, you can't do this. Tristan is dangerous."

Merlin flipped to a page and studied it for a moment before handing the book to Gaius and turning, sweeping out of Gaius's chambers without a backward glance. Gaius sighed and made his way out into the hallway and when he wasn't swept away Arthur hurried after them.

Merlin, it would seem was already gone, but Arthur saw a flash of color, the right color for Gaius's robes in fact, he hurried after him, wondering if he was following Merlin. However, Arthur realized quite quickly, Gaius was heading for his Father's chambers.

Gaius knocked once upon the wooden door, before entering.

His father was pacing in front of his desk, his hands tightly gripped behind his back. Gaius bowed once before regarding his father with one of his no nonsense stares, finally his father turned to regard Gaius, his hands still tightly clasped behind his back, his knuckles white.

"Good evening, Sire."

His father nodded, "Gaius."

"There is a matter of great urgency, which I must discuss with you."

"Then spit it out."

"Tristan's tomb is empty. I believe he's been conjured from the dead."

His father stared at gaius, though he didn't look particularly surprised.

"How is this possible?"

"I believe he's a wraith."

"A spirit?"

"Yes, of a sort. He has come to take vengeance for Ygraine's death."

His father ran his hands through his hair, a look of old grief upon his face.

"I didn't kill her, it was magic, not me."

Arthur got the impression that this was an old argument from the way Gaius only sighed before pressing forward.

"Nevertheless, it was you he blamed. You cannot allow Arthur to fight. No weapon forged by man can kill a wraith. It will stop at nothing until it has accomplished what it came for. Arthur cannon win, he will die."

Uther sighed.

"I tried, he will not listen to me."

"Then you must tell him who the knight is. Why he cannot fight."

"No!"

Gaius sighed and laid a hand upon the other man's shoulder as his father's eyes fell closed.

"You cannot hide the truth forever."

His father shook the hand off of his shoulder with a violent jolt and he glared at Gaius, whose eyes were sad and pale.

"I am the KJing. You will not tell me what I can and cannot do."

Gaius sighed.

"I cannot make this decision for you. This your choice, Sire. You tell him, or you let your son go to his death."

"No one but you or I will ever know the secret of Arthur's birth."

Arthur felt his stomach sink. Once, a sorceress had told him that his father robbed his mother of life so that he could be born, and he had believed it for a time before being told of how magic could have twisted the truth. He had believed that, believed in the inherit evil that was magic, but perhaps – perhaps his mother hadn't been an illusion after all.

"The boy is of age now, he should know."

"Never! You made me an oath. I warn you not to break it."

Gaius turned then, "Very well, Sire."

"Leave me."

Gaius did.

The scene warped.

Arthur found himself in his old chambers. His younger self sat at the table by the window, his eyes shadowed, he'd been scared, he remembers, had been able to admit that to himself, however he had been sure that he had to fight.

Soon, he remembered, Merlin would burst through the door, simultaneously shredding and boosting his confidence in one go. It was a rather odd skill of Merlin's. Just as he remembered, Merlin burst into his chambers, his face white except for the pink in his cheeks from the night air.

"You have to pull out."

His younger self looked at Merlin, his face blank. He'd had to work at that.

"And why is that?"

"Because he'll kill you."

His younger self huffed, "Why does everyone think that?"

"Because they're right! Just pull out! You're the Crown Prince. You will inherit the throne. No one wants to see you dead over some stupid challenge and some old rules in some book!"

"I am not a coward."

Merlin shook his head, hard and fast.

"I know that. I've stood there," he gestured to a vague area somewhere behind his younger self. "I've stood there and I've watched you overcome every fear you've ever faced."

"That's what's required of me."

Merlin shook his head earnestly. "But it's more than that. More than some duty. You're not merely a warrior, Arthur. Overcoming fears isn't you duty, but someday ruling is. You've proved your courage countless times. Now prove your wisdom."

"I'm not backing down!"

Merlin's face crumpled. "Please, Arthur, listen to me. This isn't an ordinary knight. Please, just look at him. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep. He just stands there, in complete silence. Doesn't that tell you something?"

His younger self grinned, as if this was some big game, as if he wasn't watching the Knight – his uncle – stand outside in the courtyard, because he still couldn't be truly vulnerable with Merlin, it would come soon, but it wasn't yet.

Merlin, despite having magic, had always been there when he was needed.

"No one is unbeatable, Merlin."

"If you fight him, you will die."

His younger self threw his hands into the air.

"I'm not listening to this."

"I'm just trying to warn you."

"And I'm trying to warn you, Merlin! Leave me."

Merlin sighed, his shoulders slumping though Arthur could still see the steel in his spine hadn't faded. Merlin turned then and left. His younger self turned his face back to the window. The scene warped around him.

Arthur found himself in his fathers chambers. The deep red curtains were drawn back and his father sat at the table, a pitcher of wine in front of him, and a goblet in his hand that he was tipping back and forth, watching the deep berry colored liquid slosh about.

The candle on the table blew out and his father didn't even look up.

"I should have known. Hello, Nimueh."

Nimueh, a woman with dark hair and a dark blue dress, looked vastly different from the few times he'd seen her in these – memories? She smiled and poured herself a glass of wine, before sitting down on top of the table, causing the pitcher to slosh in a very audible way.

"It's more than I'd hoped for, Uther. Soon Arthur will be slain. You will have sent him to his death – and how quaint is this? You've stopped shouting for the guards when I appear."

"You'll be gone before they get here. No matter if they're outside the door. Haven't you tired of revenge?"

Nimueh took a sip of the wine, the liquid staining her pale lips.

"Haven't you? You began this war when you threw me from the court and slaughtered all of my kind, I am one of the last remaining High Priestesses. Everyone is dead!"

There was grief in her eyes, old and new as she glared at his father, who didn't look as much angry as resigned.

"You brought it on yourself. You practiced evil."

She laughed, short and broken. "I was your friend, both of your friends! You welcomed me here."

"You betrayed any friendship that was ever offered you."

"I did as you asked. As both of you wanted! I used the magic that you now hate, to give you and your barren wife the child that you craved! You both wanted me to! Ygraine wanted it too!"

"Don't speak of her. She was my heart, my soul. And you took her from me."

"She died giving birth to your son. It was not my choice. I would never have chosen her to die! That is the law of magic. To create a life, there had to be a death, I told you this! The balance of the world had to be maintained."

"You knew it would kill her."

"No, you're wrong. If I had foreseen her death, and the terrible retribution you would seek – I wouldn't have granted you wish!"

So there it was, Arthur thought. It hadn't been a lie. He was born of magic. Magic had robbed his mother of life. But – but if Nimueh didn't lie – and his father did not deny that his mother had wanted it – then it had been magic that robbed her of life, but it hadn't been his father. Once he had been told a tale and the heart of the tale was true but the details had been altered.

Did this make his father a better man? Did it make him guiltless? Did it even matter? No, Arthur thought, it didn't. Arthur had grown up without a mother, had had a father that had been scarred by the past and who couldn't articulate that he cared except in times of great danger. His mother was dead. Had been dead for as long as he'd been alive.

Would he have crusaded against magic if it hadn't been his mother that had died? He imagines not. That was one thing he could not forgive. It didn't make Nimueh anymore justified in her crusade against Camelot. It didn't make his father justified if he entered knowing someone would die.

"I wish you hadn't."

Arthur closed his eyes. There are some things that aren't meant to be heard.

"You wish you didn't have a son? Well, your wish will come true tomorrow."

"I will not let you take him!"

It was the first time that his father had raised his voice since the conversation began.

"I have watched so many people I love die at your hands, Uther Pendragon. Now it is your turn."

She was gone as fast as she came, leaving his father alone with his wine, and the ghosts that haunted him in ways that were perhaps more threatening than the ghost of a woman that had just vacated, taking her glass of wine with her, leaving behind no evidence that she'd even been there.

The scene shifted.

Arthur found himself outside his queens former home, Merlin shifted in front of the door, before knocking. His queen bustled to the door, opening it in a nightgown, her hair undone and hanging around her face in crazed curls, a candle in her hand, lighting up her face..

"Merlin. What are you doing here?"

Merlin shifted.

"May I come in? It's important."

His queen hesitated before nodding, retreating from the doorway, she made room for Merlin to enter, she brushed a hand through her hair, tying it into a knot at the base of her neck before shutting the door firmly behind her.

"I have a question – a favor to ask of you."

"Yes?"

"I'm – I'm not sure how to ask it."

She smiled.

"Ask, Merlin. You know I'd grant you anything. I mean, not anything. Obviously. But I would – I would like to help. What is it that you need?"

"I've come to ask for a sword. The strongest sword your father's ever made."

"What for?"

"To save Arthur."

Arthur stared. A sword in a stone and a story that was always too fantastical to be true, in his mind.

"oh," she said.

"I – I have money. Not a lot, mind you. But I can pay."

Something crossed across his Queen's face, before she motioned for Merlin to follow her. Merlin did, she led him to the small bed chamber that she had shared with her father before handing him her candle and kneeling down to reach under.

She pulled out a sword, with a magnificently crafted handle that looked far too familiar.

"My father's been saving this. He's always said it was the best sword he's ever made."

"it's perfect."

"He'll kill me if he finds I've taken it."

"He'll understand. You did it for Arthur. Oh – here."

He held out a small pouch with cold coins jangling. Even Arthur could tell that it was at least a month's worth of wages. She waved the coins aside.

"Keep them, I knew you were proud of him really."

The scene changed and Arthur found himself inside the dingy cavern that he'd begun to be accustomed to. His eyes didn't even struggle anymore. The dragon was crouched on a rock when Merlin entered, the creature grinned.

"Merlin!"

"Do you know why I'm here?"

"It may surprise you, Merlin, but my knowledge of your life is not universal."

"It's to do with Arthur. His life's in danger. He will die, unless I can make a weapon that will kill the dead."

The creature sat back on it's hunches.

"So what do you come to ask of me?"

Merlin held out the sword.

"Will you burnish it, to save Arthur?"

"The dead do not return without reason. Who has he come for?"

"Uther."

"Then let him take his vengeance and the wraith will die without my aid."

"But it's Arthur who's going to fight him. You have to save him."

"That is your destiny, young warlock, not mine."

"But if Arthur fights the wraith and dies, Camelot will have no heir. I will have no destiny."

"A weapon forged with my assistance will have great power."

Merlin nodded, seemingly oblivious to the anger that was forming in the great creatures eyes.

"I know."

"You do not know. You can only guess. You have not seen what I have seen. The horrors such a sword can cause. If you had, perhaps you would not ask this of me."

"What do you mean?"

"In the wrong hands, this sword could do great evil. It must be wielded by Arthur and him alone."

But it hadn't happened that way. His father had fought the wraith.

"I understand."

The dragon shook it's great head.

"You must do more than understand. You must promise."

"I promise."

"Very well," Merlin held the sword out then and the dragon's chest heaved before it expelled a wave of fire. The light nearly blinded Arthur. Merlin had his eyes squeezed shut tight. The sound was overpowering, Arthur covered his ears, the heat hot against his face – and then it all stopped. There was utter silence.

Then, "Heed my words. The sword was forged for Arthur, and him alone."

Merlin examined the sword, his eyes sweeping over it before his face lit up.

"Thank you!"

Arthur for one, stared. He knew that sword he wore it at his hip, he'd used it every day. It had always felt like it had been made for him, evidently it had been. he feels like he should have been more surprised, but he wasn't. The story had always been far to fantastical for it to be believable. It made sense, he should feel scared, he knew, he'd held a sword burnished in a dragon's breathe, fought with it even.

The scene changed.

Arthur found himself on the banks of a lake. Merlin's form before him, his sword cradled in his hands. He held it for a moment before drawing his hand back and tossing it, it flew through the air in a clean arc, landing with a splash in the murky depths.

The scene changed


End file.
